Online Dating… OKCupid... what a trip. What works for you?

I was on OKC very briefly after joining this site. Out of the messages I got, only one interested me enough for me to meet the guy, and he turned out to be one of those people who likes to talk to hear his own voice, and not to actually have conversations.

I met both Hubby and S2, and my ex-boyfriend, through AdultFriendFinder. Hubby and I had "met" in the chat room for our geographic area but hadn't really interacted; we met in person a few days after he joined the site at a barbecue held at the home of one of the chat members. (Our area does a ton of G/PG-rated meet and greets at bars, clubs, and even people's homes; they're all low-pressure, no-sex kinds of things so people can see who each other is.)

I met the ex-boyfriend at a club meet and greet (he wasn't from our area, so hadn't really been in chat; he was here on business).

And S2 was "perving" profiles at random on AFF and stumbled on mine; he sent me a message that was off-beat enough for me to respond, and we messaged back and forth for two or three weeks before we finally decided to meet in person. He hangs out sometimes in the chat room now, but he didn't start chatting until after we had started communicating. Maybe not until after our first meeting, I can't remember for sure.

AFF isn't necessarily poly-friendly; it's officially geared more toward swingers or single people who want no-strings hook-ups. But I first heard the term "polyamory" and a logical definition of it from a friend I met on AFF (you can actually find *friends* there as well as sex... and finding friends is usually easier), and obviously no-strings hook-ups aren't the only things that happen there. Hubby and I are one of at least 10 couples I know of from our area who met through the site and ended up married or at least living together. The site's profile options are limited; among other things, you choose your "marital status", which really ought to be "relationship status" in my opinion. And none of the options apply in a poly situation. But you can do a written piece of your profile to explain all of that.

I met a ton of frogs on there before I met Hubby; and after we opened the marriage I encountered several more frogs. But when you find someone who's right for you, it makes the frog pond worth it.
 
Reading your questions now. You'd date someone merely because they were "well endowed?" Really? Big tits and no personality and a dead fish in bed, that's OK with you?

You list sex as being more important to you than love. Women might get the idea you just want a sex toy for you and your wife to use as if she were a vibrator or dildo or something...

I'm now getting into reading everything everyone wrote. I agree you can pick someone just because of a physical attractions. Let's face it eventually the penis will go limp or the vagina will not be a happy camper and you'll have to talk to each other.

I was suprised the other night after Alis, new Guy (to early to get a name), and I were talking she said something completely unexpected about being more open now to me finding someone which she was very anxious about before. It didn't change my feelings about the subject. I'm sticky ok with just having a potential Vee. I voluntarily don't want another partner. Not going to lie it gave me warm fuzziness because it was at one discussion time a "hard limit" for her. Not because she wanted to be selfish but because she worried I would leave. I think after putting enough of her self out there she sees my intentions better now.
 
Sounds like your online efforts are starting to pay off.
 
Wow 6 year long thread

I see this thread started 6 years ago and lots of great information although its taken me ages to read lol. I think times are changing and social media has made it easier to chat to poly people, ok cupid still ok but free sites tend to get fair share of idiots. There are a few pay sites but not enough for my liking and no big 'Match' type one for everyone as of yet (am I wrong?) One of the big search engines like google could do with getting in on this community in my opinion.
 
Frog

I think after ten years, I conclude I am a frog in the turtle pond.
I am the sound of one hand laughing. Exit is stage left, but my left or your?
 
As an older woman and OkCupid user...

I attract a lot of trolls and scammers. I normally don't reply if I've read your questions and found what I consider "red flag" answers. You could be a 98% match, but the red flags will eliminate you from my consideration. Also too little information, no picture, no questions answered, or five or fewer questions answered make me suspicious, as does a poorly written profile.

If I've read your profile, and like most of your answers to the questions, even if they are the opposite of mine, I will reply. However, my replies are not timely because I am rarely on the site. I also got tired of every bit of a conversation being emailed to me, so I cut off email notifications. So consider that a factor as well. Not every message will get read. And not every positive reply I send gets a return answer.

Many times when I initiate contact, I rarely get a response. It works both ways. I've been online "dating" for over a year on three different sites and the percentages of replies both from me and to me, are about equal on the "traditional" sites. I've had a more positive experience on a polyamory dating site.
 
Back
Top