FullofLove1052
New member
New Attitude
I am in my office and eating lunch. Monday's are full of madness. My hubby finally sent me a text in between his afternoon rounds. He apologised for being distant and said that we should talk tonight. We wanted to grab lunch together, but our schedules did not match up for that today. Rain check for sure.
Someone sent me a PM, and it tickled me. I want my children to do as I say and not as a did. They have no clue what has been going on.
Would I want them to be part of a dynamic or relationship like this? Goodness, no. The average person would want to scream.
I would love for Matt and Si to just talk. Not like they did the last time, which turned into a nasty, vicious argument where insults were flying like fur. I want them to remember the point where they first formed a friendship, and when they had feelings for each other. I want them to remember how happy we all were for NYE and the days following. I want them to both apologise from the heart and repair their friendship at best. I want Matt to realise that yes, some of our actions were wrong and out of place, but we never intended to hurt him or to make him feel like he was not valued.
I am inviting her over at some point this week. I am not asking Matt. I am telling him. I will probably tell him tonight, since we already have plans to talk.
They are not going to resolve their issues on their own, and I know they will not seek professional help. I am coming up with rules and boundaries for this sit-down. There will be no insults hurled, no eye rolling, no passive aggressive behaviour, no yelling, no screaming, no hitting below the belt, no disrespect, no name-calling, and no putting anyone out. They need to face each other and man or woman up. If there are any issues, they need to confront them and get them off of their chests in a civil and respectful manner.
We have two children who are far from 18. One of them is not even one, yet. We have a long way to go. They have grown accustomed to having three parents, and they both love us all equally. It is not fair for him to use our children against her because he is upset and has chosen not to confront his issues with her. Just as it was not fair for her to shut them out when she was upset. She still has some making up to do, but she has not been able to do so.
I do not care if they cannot stand each other. They better grin like some damn Cheshires and act like every day is a trip to Walt Disney World and like they really are in the happiest place on earth. Our children will be the focus.
Since I am forced to be a mediator, I am going to act like one. To keep the peace, there will be no speaking until given the okay to do so. I am treating it like a debate. Person 1 speak your peace and be receptive to what is being said. Person 2 offer your rebuttal and be mindful of what you are saying. Go back and forth in a calm manner. The ultimate goal is to reach some type of agreement that they can live with. For the record, I have no problem interrupting and/or telling someone to hush or shut the hell up.
We will agree on a visitation schedule and a day to implement it. I have their schedules for the entire month of May. They did not realise why I was asking for them, so I now know when they are on-call, have off days, and such. I have already started a sample schedule. We will discuss the terms and come to a mutual agreement. They will both sign it and agree to abide by it. No intentional interference, no arguments, and if there are changes, 24-48 hours notice. Parenting is not easy, but we are going to work together like a team. Our children did not ask for any of this. I am leaving room for adjustments or the unexpected like falling ill.
Something about today has left me with a fresh perspective and a new attitude. For two months, this has been running our lives, and personally, I want my life back. I do not know about them, but I am taking control of the wheel and putting this back on the right path.
I am in my office and eating lunch. Monday's are full of madness. My hubby finally sent me a text in between his afternoon rounds. He apologised for being distant and said that we should talk tonight. We wanted to grab lunch together, but our schedules did not match up for that today. Rain check for sure.
Someone sent me a PM, and it tickled me. I want my children to do as I say and not as a did. They have no clue what has been going on.
- Mummy and daddy are in counselling.
- Daddy and mummy #2 are not on speaking terms, and he is trying to keep them apart.
- Mummy #2 is about to be 16k km away and cut off in every sense of the word because she decided not to move.
- Paternal grandma despised mummy #2 and banned her from being part of any family activities including but not limited to birthday parties, weddings, baby showers, reunions, holidays, etc.
- Mummy sucked in the communication department and was very selfish.
- Daddy is being something like a martyr, and his heart is not softening at all.
- Mummy is in the middle of it and trying to keep the peace so that the environment stays stable and healthy.
- Mummy has days where she wants to shake some sense into daddy and mummy #2.
Would I want them to be part of a dynamic or relationship like this? Goodness, no. The average person would want to scream.
I would love for Matt and Si to just talk. Not like they did the last time, which turned into a nasty, vicious argument where insults were flying like fur. I want them to remember the point where they first formed a friendship, and when they had feelings for each other. I want them to remember how happy we all were for NYE and the days following. I want them to both apologise from the heart and repair their friendship at best. I want Matt to realise that yes, some of our actions were wrong and out of place, but we never intended to hurt him or to make him feel like he was not valued.
I am inviting her over at some point this week. I am not asking Matt. I am telling him. I will probably tell him tonight, since we already have plans to talk.
They are not going to resolve their issues on their own, and I know they will not seek professional help. I am coming up with rules and boundaries for this sit-down. There will be no insults hurled, no eye rolling, no passive aggressive behaviour, no yelling, no screaming, no hitting below the belt, no disrespect, no name-calling, and no putting anyone out. They need to face each other and man or woman up. If there are any issues, they need to confront them and get them off of their chests in a civil and respectful manner.
We have two children who are far from 18. One of them is not even one, yet. We have a long way to go. They have grown accustomed to having three parents, and they both love us all equally. It is not fair for him to use our children against her because he is upset and has chosen not to confront his issues with her. Just as it was not fair for her to shut them out when she was upset. She still has some making up to do, but she has not been able to do so.
I do not care if they cannot stand each other. They better grin like some damn Cheshires and act like every day is a trip to Walt Disney World and like they really are in the happiest place on earth. Our children will be the focus.
Since I am forced to be a mediator, I am going to act like one. To keep the peace, there will be no speaking until given the okay to do so. I am treating it like a debate. Person 1 speak your peace and be receptive to what is being said. Person 2 offer your rebuttal and be mindful of what you are saying. Go back and forth in a calm manner. The ultimate goal is to reach some type of agreement that they can live with. For the record, I have no problem interrupting and/or telling someone to hush or shut the hell up.
We will agree on a visitation schedule and a day to implement it. I have their schedules for the entire month of May. They did not realise why I was asking for them, so I now know when they are on-call, have off days, and such. I have already started a sample schedule. We will discuss the terms and come to a mutual agreement. They will both sign it and agree to abide by it. No intentional interference, no arguments, and if there are changes, 24-48 hours notice. Parenting is not easy, but we are going to work together like a team. Our children did not ask for any of this. I am leaving room for adjustments or the unexpected like falling ill.
Something about today has left me with a fresh perspective and a new attitude. For two months, this has been running our lives, and personally, I want my life back. I do not know about them, but I am taking control of the wheel and putting this back on the right path.