A2Poly
New member
So Mal and I have a visit planned for next month.
And now I'm looking for "things to do" in my city while he is here. I want him to get to know my city and the things about it I love... which include certain art forms (the gallery, the theatre, the symphony, etc, etc). One of the things to do that weekend is an overlap of two of my favourite artforms and I think "Wow! This is perfect!", and email the link to Mal suggesting we go.
And he says no. Or more exactly, he says he THINKS that Djinn will be jealous if he and I go to this event because one of the art forms is one that she is passionate about.
I feel like he is like saying "You and I can never eat in a sushi restaurant, because Djinn is my partner too and WE eat in sushi restaurants, they are her favourite and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable by sharing sushi with you too".
Which as soon as I switched it to a restaurant metaphor I realized clear couples privilege. But it isn't even HER saying it. Maybe she'll be fine with it. Maybe not. But for him to prejudge her reaction and then protect against it?
I mean, I'll go to the event anyway - a friend contacted me about it this morning and I'll go with her and her kids and leave him at home if that is what it comes to. But how will she be LESS jealous of that than of him and I going together? I just don't get it.
Insight anyone?
And now I'm looking for "things to do" in my city while he is here. I want him to get to know my city and the things about it I love... which include certain art forms (the gallery, the theatre, the symphony, etc, etc). One of the things to do that weekend is an overlap of two of my favourite artforms and I think "Wow! This is perfect!", and email the link to Mal suggesting we go.
And he says no. Or more exactly, he says he THINKS that Djinn will be jealous if he and I go to this event because one of the art forms is one that she is passionate about.
I feel like he is like saying "You and I can never eat in a sushi restaurant, because Djinn is my partner too and WE eat in sushi restaurants, they are her favourite and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable by sharing sushi with you too".
Which as soon as I switched it to a restaurant metaphor I realized clear couples privilege. But it isn't even HER saying it. Maybe she'll be fine with it. Maybe not. But for him to prejudge her reaction and then protect against it?
I mean, I'll go to the event anyway - a friend contacted me about it this morning and I'll go with her and her kids and leave him at home if that is what it comes to. But how will she be LESS jealous of that than of him and I going together? I just don't get it.
Insight anyone?
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