Hey. (Sock Puppet Trolling Thread - Closed)

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Here is my summary of what I think you are saying:


You didn't want to give your husband affection or sex. You told him to go find sex somewhere else. He did. The woman he found fell in love with him. You are watching her give him all the goodies you didn't want to give him. You are watching him enjoy it immensely. You know how you have been treating him, so you think he would naturally want to be with her. To you, that means you lose. I'm going to give you my opinion on a few things. As you read, be aware its only my opinion.


You see life as a competition. The skills you have that allow you to function in life are the skills you developed from seeing life as a competition. All competitions have a winner and a loser. You are used to playing on that ball field. You're used to being the winner (controlling everything around you). That is your comfort zone. The way your husband responds to his girlfriend shows up on your radar as "she is making him happy in ways I am not". That means she is now in charge of him, because she is the one he responds to. You are not used to this new ball field. Your life coping skills are not effective in this new ball field, because those based on competition don't work there. That means you lose.


For that reason you are now willing to give him attention, because you want to get back into the winner's circle. You spent much of this thread analyzing your chances of getting there.


What is really happening here with all of this?


Your husband's girlfriend is showing you who you are and how you've been treating him. You don't like the "you" she is showing you. You're mad at your husband for "making you lose" by enjoying his girlfriend's love for him. The picture of you that she is showing you is going to be in your face as long as she is treating him well, and you are not. You would rather compete with her for what you see as control of him than change into a more secure, loving person. The truth is you're living the life your attitude of competition created for you. Competition says someone HAS to win and someone else HAS to lose, because there isn't enough to go around. Maybe, just maybe, one of these days you'll get tired of that picture she is showing you and let go of the belief that you are only good enough and safe if you are winning.


The skills that a confident loving person uses to function in life are very different from those an emotionally competitive person uses. If you decide to let go of the competitive "not enough" way of thinking some day, you'll have to create a new set of skills. It will be a lot of emotional work to get there. That means it will require an incentive far greater than simply wanting to win your husband back from his girlfriend. I encourage you to face your fears and learn to love yourself. I encourage you to find the strength within to love and honor yourself. The truth is when people see you genuinely loving yourself, they will want to join the party. I hope my words have helped you in some way.
 
Hi Daffodil,

It's not my intention to make you look or sound pathetic, so if I did so (inadvertently), I apologize. I don't think it would be good if your husband stayed with you just because of some sense of duty, but it would be good if he stayed with you because he honestly *wanted* to.

Let me ask you this: What do you think his reason is for staying with you in the here and now? Is he already with you now simply because he feels duty-bound? or is that just something you see possibly happening in the future?

Re (from Post #48):
"You all have this pie-in-the-sky view that this can all work out and everyone can and will be happy."

Well then I have miscommunicated on that point also. I don't mean that this thing has a 100% chance. Perhaps it only has a 10% chance. Perhaps it has no chance. That depends on the people involved, and I don't know the people involved as well as you know them. But, just in case there was a chance of things working out, I thought it would be good to examine that as a possibility. I hope that makes sense.

I guess a lot of it comes down to what you feel you can offer your husband, as an individual. If you feel like you have become a worthless person to him, then that makes me sad, and I have to question it.

Re:
"Johnny Depp once said: If you find that you are in love with two women, choose the second one, because if you were truly in love with the first, you would have never had the need for the second.
And so many people on here *know* that already and deny it, to themselves, to their partners. Poly whatever. Sure, you can love two people. I do believe that. But to think it will work long-term? No. It won't."

I think the point I differ on is that it's not always-or-never. Some poly set-ups work out, some don't. Poly is good for some people, bad for others. There are also many kinds of poly, some are more casual than others, some are more sexual, some more emotional, some more open, some more closed. Since you find yourself already "in" a poly situation, would it be worth giving it a chance, just to see if it works? I just say maybe, based on what I've read.

For what it's worth, I live in a polyfidelitous V/triad with one woman (the hinge) and two men (the arms of the V). It is an emotional involvement and commitment. We live together, and are sexually exclusive within our trio. That works for us, but other people would have to figure out what worked for them. We had some rough times in our early years, but for the last several years, we've gotten along pretty smoothly. We've been together as a poly unit since early in 2006. So I don't think we're in denial, but I guess I can't prove that.

I know of some poly situations that didn't work out, so that's why I say, sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. It depends on the people involved, on the details of the situation, on many things. I don't know whether your situation could work, but I thought I'd suggest giving it a try. If I overstepped my bounds, I apologize.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Or you could ask CdM to ask her for her contact info (since she's closer to him) but you'll not hear from him before tomorrow. They're out with friends tonight, hopefully not getting eaten alive by mosquitoes!

I hope they aren't. We've had a bad year for mosquitoes around the area but it did just rain in the area though, so only time will tell if the mosquitoes come out tonight.
 
Hi Daffodil, I'm sorry I haven't chimed in sooner but my computer was unavailable for the past week.

My husband, Runic Wolf, here on the forums and I started out with an open relationship 12 years ago and eventually realized that we wanted more than just FWB relationships. Our first foray into poly, back in 2004-2005 certainly wasn't a pie in the sky experience. Runic Wolf's girlfriend at the time was a cowgirl and she did try to take him and our son away from me. Thankfully, he was able to see her for what she was, but it took a toll on our relationship and we ended up in counseling for a while.

We have been in our current poly configuration, a V with me as the hinge for a little over three years. For the first 6 mos to a year, things were definitely not all pie in the sky, as I was rather oblivious to the effects that NRE had on me and we learned that our communication wasn't all that we thought it was, primarily because we had different definitions of important concepts. But we worked through it and our relationship is stronger for it. Runic Wolf has had a couple of girlfriends over the last few years, but for one reason or another things haven't worked out for him as well as they have for Wendigo and myself. My boyfriend is also one of our best friends, so we spend alot of time together, at least twice a week. Runic Wolf knows that he can come to both of us if he's feeling insecure or jealous, but usually he tries to work through it on his own. He knows I'm not going anywhere and it isn't just because we have a child together. Runic Wolf is my anchor and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Wendigo and I don't have any plans to end our relationship, but we also aren't planning on moving in together or anything like that. His wife and I talked extensively about where this was going and I assured her that I wasn't planning to leave my husband and run off with hers. She trusts me, which is amazing since there aren't many people she trusts, but after three years I think I've proven myself.

I sincerely hope that you can make peace with your husband loving another. With Runic Wolf's ex, I didn't have a problem with him loving her or her loving him. I had a problem with her behavior, her bad mouthing me, and trying to exclude me from activities like taking my son to the carnival (I was working full time and going to school part time so anytime I had off I wanted to spend with my family and she didn't want me there).
 
And because of that, YOU will be the reason that it will end with her. Congratulations! You won! But did you really? Your actions will hurt the man that you love, causing him pain to lose this woman that he is deeply in love with.


I'm sorry if this is coming off strong, but I'm living his nightmare right now. And nobody wins. :(

As I said before, he'll get over it.

I'm sorry that you are living this too, but what do you expect getting involved with another woman's man? Honestly, have some self respect and take the hint to leave.


Which is precisely the reason why this sort of situation is absolutely horrible for the hinge. The whole idea of poly is for everyone to be open and honest. If the situation won't allow that then this is a horrible pressure to have.

Horrible for the hinge. Cry me a river. He (you) have two women to fuck, take your pick, whichever one you are in the mood for. Two women who claim to love you. What about your wife when you're with your girlfriend? Who's loving her then as she sits alone? What about your girlfriend the other 6 nights a week that you're not interested in seeing her? Poor hinge. Sure thing. :confused:

To figure out what Daffodil wants to hear, other than "I'm gone, he's all yours." To see what might help her cope. I do believe she can.

Thanks for that however NT is actually right. I wouldn't believe a word that came out of his girlfriends mouth that she's not trying to take him away. That's not the point anyways, the point is that he will leave, not that she will make him leave.

Here is my summary of what I think you are saying:

Your husband's girlfriend is showing you who you are and how you've been treating him. You don't like the "you" she is showing you. You're mad at your husband for "making you lose" by enjoying his girlfriend's love for him. The picture of you that she is showing you is going to be in your face as long as she is treating him well, and you are not. You would rather compete with her for what you see as control of him than change into a more secure, loving person. The truth is you're living the life your attitude of competition created for you. Competition says someone HAS to win and someone else HAS to lose, because there isn't enough to go around. Maybe, just maybe, one of these days you'll get tired of that picture she is showing you and let go of the belief that you are only good enough and safe if you are winning.

Yes. Okay. Everthing you said has some variance of validity. She has pointed out the obvious contrasts between the way I have been treating him and they way that she does. And what's worse is that he sees it. I'm not even sure that I'd change my ways if I didn't feel forced to in order to keep him. It is a competition. You're absolutely right.

Let me ask you this: What do you think his reason is for staying with you in the here and now? Is he already with you now simply because he feels duty-bound? or is that just something you see possibly happening in the future?


We had some rough times in our early years, but for the last several years, we've gotten along pretty smoothly. We've been together as a poly unit since early in 2006. So I don't think we're in denial, but I guess I can't prove that.

As I've said before over and over and over, it's not that he will leave NOW but one day he might want to and I need to stop that.

I'm glad that this is working out for you. But honestly, I can't ever see another woman living with him and I. No way. So maybe it works if you all cohabitate but this dividing time is bullshit. He is with her tonight and I'm alone. They are having a wonderful evening enjoying each other and I'm alone. I fake a smile and a kiss as he walks out the door but inside I want to call her and tell her to get lost. My husband is so happy when I seem content as he leaves, but it only makes me want to get rid of her more.

Wendigo and I don't have any plans to end our relationship, but we also aren't planning on moving in together or anything like that. His wife and I talked extensively about where this was going and I assured her that I wasn't planning to leave my husband and run off with hers. She trusts me, which is amazing since there aren't many people she trusts, but after three years I think I've proven myself.

I sincerely hope that you can make peace with your husband loving another. With Runic Wolf's ex, I didn't have a problem with him loving her or her loving him. I had a problem with her behavior, her bad mouthing me...

Again, this woman isn't a cowgirl, she's great and I see why he loves her.

I'm glad this is working for you as well. But there's another difference, your "Secondary" has a wife at home. My husbands is single and Mono. Huge difference. He can't just move in with a couple in order to be with her. Her bed is big enough for them both.
 
As I said before, he'll get over it.
As I've said before over and over and over, it's not that he will leave NOW but one day he might want to and I need to stop that.
He is with her tonight and I'm alone. They are having a wonderful evening enjoying each other and I'm alone. I fake a smile and a kiss as he walks out the door but inside I want to call her and tell her to get lost. My husband is so happy when I seem content as he leaves, but it only makes me want to get rid of her more.
My husbands is single and Mono. Huge difference. He can't just move in with a couple in order to be with her. Her bed is big enough for them both.

WOW :eek:

I don't get you, at all.

You are taking this all as one huge personal insult to your ego.

Ever stop to think about what is best for this person you supposedly love? :confused:

Obviously not. Or you would be concerned about your husband's emotional wants and needs.

Also, this thing about you needing to stop this? Bullshit. You want it to stop. You want him to be unhappy. You want to control him. You want to squash anything that makes him happy. You you you.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

You say he's mono? Then why is he with another woman?
 
As I said before, he'll get over it.

I'm sorry that you are living this too, but what do you expect getting involved with another woman's man? Honestly, have some self respect and take the hint to leave.

I entered his life in a serious time of need. I recognized pain and lonliness that he was feeling. He was a good man. And I wanted to be close to him, offer comfort. And as it turned out, we fell deeply in love with each other.

Self Respect? I have more of it than you could dream of having.

I've offered several times to leave him, let him work on his situation at home, but he flat out refuses. He is in love with me. He needs me in his life. Me leaving him and hurting him is not an option. He vows that the only way that this will end for us if if I choose to leave and he states very clearly how devestated that he would be if I left him. I tried to end it just this morning over a serious issue/misunderstanding but he came over and we worked through it. He doesn't want me to leave!

Hint from who? The only cues I care about are his. If there is other issues at home, that's his baggage to carry and deal with (as GG states - each holds their own bag). My relationship with him is MY relationship with him.
 
I'm sorry that you are living this too, but what do you expect getting involved with another woman's man? Honestly, have some self respect and take the hint to leave.

Could it be that we don't all here view people as objects to be owned? I certainly wasn't ever some man's woman, and part of my resentment toward that mindset made polyamory a more natural fit.

Horrible for the hinge. Cry me a river. He (you) have two women to fuck, take your pick, whichever one you are in the mood for. Two women who claim to love you.

You're going to laugh so hard but I will swear on the lives of my remaining family that I exist as more than one of "two women to fuck". And yeah, if she and I can't communicate, we're putting him in a position to communicate for us, which he hates. So, horrible for him. Since we love him, not something we want him to deal with. Thus, his introverts suck it up and work it out.

What about your girlfriend the other 6 nights a week that you're not interested in seeing her?

The other nights are for me. I am strongly introverted and happy to spend time writing, painting, crocheting, or sewing. I don't need endless attention from my partner in order to feel fulfilled. That said, it's not disinterest that keeps him away. If I lived closer and she were to agree to it, we would probably see each other more often. She has been firm about her boundaries and the amount of time she needs with him. When she's off on business, she fully expects him to come be with me, and she's been known to all but push him out the door on our night.

Thanks for that however NT is actually right. I wouldn't believe a word that came out of his girlfriends mouth that she's not trying to take him away. That's not the point anyways, the point is that he will leave, not that she will make him leave.

Okay. You have made up your mind that he will leave you. How do you believe this will happen? If she isn't going to make him, is it that you don't trust him to stay of his own accord? Do you think this would be any different if he had not yet met someone with whom to explore polyamory (not just sex)?

She has pointed out the obvious contrasts between the way I have been treating him and they way that she does. And what's worse is that he sees it. I'm not even sure that I'd change my ways if I didn't feel forced to in order to keep him. It is a competition. You're absolutely right.

Eeesh, that behavior wouldn't fly with us. There's no "She sucks, I'm cool, here's why" in our vee. We're human, with acknowledged human foibles, but wow, I doubt any of us would tolerate our foibles being used as a reason why one of us needs to leave. That's awful, that you have to deal with her doing that.

As I've said before over and over and over, it's not that he will leave NOW but one day he might want to and I need to stop that.

I think that's common to relationships no matter who's in them.

He might leave because . . .

. . . I'm not getting strong enough to live nearer him.
. . . I can't manage to follow him to the place where he'll retire.
. . . my values may change over time.
. . . his values may change over time.
. . . one of us is going to die before the other.

And so on. Life is full of "he might want to leave me someday". You can't stop that. You can't know. Tormenting yourself over the maybe only hurts you.

I'm glad that this is working out for you. But honestly, I can't ever see another woman living with him and I. No way.

Neither can my metamour. ;) And I acknowledge that I'm a weirdo who likes to find ways to amuse herself on her own. A single-but-for-Darling weirdo who would welcome an addition but is not looking to subtract. Sure, my bed is big enough for two plus several cats, but it doesn't have to be full every night for me to be happy in what we have.
 
Horrible for the hinge. Cry me a river. He (you) have two women to fuck, take your pick, whichever one you are in the mood for. Two women who claim to love you. What about your wife when you're with your girlfriend? Who's loving her then as she sits alone? What about your girlfriend the other 6 nights a week that you're not interested in seeing her? Poor hinge. Sure thing. :confused:
You know, since you are obviously not even interested in "walking a mile in another person's shoes" and are going to make no effort to understand another person's points of view, I can't see why I should bother to do the same.

You have your view of the world and relationships - you feel like you somehow "own" your husband. I'm sure that that makes him love you even more! He's going to leave you, not because of what she is doing to him, but what YOU are doing to him with this possessive, duplicitous, insecure garbage that you are spouting.

I pray that I never meet a person like you in real life.
 
Wow....this took a turn to nasty :eek: ...what a difference a couple of days makes.



CDN......you slippery devil how have been able to elude or escape the barrage for so long ...are you sure ?:D ... I must be slipping :confused:I think you meant infamous ...not famous.

Here was my thinking and glimpse into the relevance of the questions to this thread. You've been doing this a long time ...15yrs. Admittedly had a rough start. But having said that having 1, 2 partners is different than 20. Each scenario would have its own individual characteristics and give a glimpse into your dynamic.

Your comment on your wife's struggle of not being the one or enough for you triggered the numerous conversations with people in that poly/mono dynamic saying similar things and how they tried to create things, ...boundaries/rules...events to help with those feeling. A clearly in this situation that's something she/they should look at. I think she looking at an empty bag.


Daf ,

Tip of the day .........might not want to post while their out on a date. Seems to drive the venom count up ;)

Keep on the present course he is going to leave.....or you'll be institutionalized. Meaning you'll break him or yourself. And unfortunately love is not always a factor in why people stay married or together. In fact it maybe way down the list. People say all the time is love enough ....well flip that around is all the other stuff enough. In fact it maybe way down the list.

One question...just one :D...what would happen if you pulled all restrictions... all boundaries ... all rules on everything ...dates, sleepovers, emails, texting , money, what furniture they can have sex on ... everything ...what do you think would happen?

Juust so everyone knows I got follow up questions :eek: and keeping it to one is really hard :(
 
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Here was my thinking and glimpse into the relevance of the questions to this thread. You've been doing this a long time ...15yrs. Admittedly had a rough start. But having said that having 1, 2 partners is different 20. Each scenario would have its own individual characteristics and give a glimpse into your dynamic.
OK, fair point - there were probably 6 or 7 folks in the "never got off the ground" category. Mostly that was just due to mismatched needs, and those became obvious fairly quickly.

Your comment on your wife's struggle of not being the one or enough for you triggered the numerous conversations with people in that poly/mono dynamic saying similar things and how they tried to create things, ...boundaries/rules...events to help with those feeling.
Mostly it was about going at a pace that everyone was comfortable with. There have been a few boundaries set for everyone's comfort, and everyone has agreed to those after a good discussion.
 
Also, this thing about you needing to stop this? Bullshit. You want it to stop. You want him to be unhappy. You want to control him. You want to squash anything that makes him happy. You you you.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

You say he's mono? Then why is he with another woman?
.


That's right! I want it to stop! I am his wife! She must know what her place is, she cannot have more value to him than I do! And I will do whatever it takes to enforce that, even if it means manipulation, yes. Sorry, sad but true. I will do what it takes to secure the life that I have.

There is nothing wrong with me! I am simply being bluntly honest. Unlike many others on here with their passive aggressiveness, yet clearly using similar manipulation tactics to remove this threats of women from their husband's lives. They are just too polite and PC to say it as I do. And I have gotten PM's from a few of them already!

And sorry, it was a typing error, stupid HTC phone typing issues. I meant to write my husband's girlfriend is single and mono. Duh. He's married. :confused:

The other nights are for me. I am strongly introverted and happy to spend time writing, painting, crocheting, or sewing. I don't need endless attention from my partner in order to feel fulfilled. That said, it's not disinterest that keeps him away. If I lived closer and she were to agree to it, we would probably see each other more often. She has been firm about her boundaries and the amount of time she needs with him. When she's off on business, she fully expects him to come be with me, and she's been known to all but push him out the door on our night.

Eeesh, that behavior wouldn't fly with us. There's no "She sucks, I'm cool, here's why" in our vee. We're human, with acknowledged human foibles, but wow, I doubt any of us would tolerate our foibles being used as a reason why one of us needs to leave. That's awful, that you have to deal with her doing that.

What were her boundaries? If you don't mind my asking.

And sorry, I misrepresented myself again. I didn't mean that she directly points that out, I do it to myself. She's so beautiful, sexy, attractive, fun, energetic, full of love, life and energy. And I'm not. And he's drawn to her because of those attributes like a moth to a flame. So I try to be more of those things, but I'm not. He says that he likes me for who I am. But really, then why is so attracted and in love with my polar opposite??

You have your view of the world and relationships - you feel like you somehow "own" your husband. I'm sure that that makes him love you even more! He's going to leave you, not because of what she is doing to him, but what YOU are doing to him with this possessive, duplicitous, insecure garbage that you are spouting.

I pray that I never meet a person like you in real life.

He thinks that I support this, but I don't. I do own him. And the fact that he hasn't left me yet already really proves that. But I know that it can't continue indefinitely.
 
Daf ,

Tip of the day .........might not want to post while their out on a date. Seems to drive the venom count up ;)

Keep on the present course he is going to leave.....or you'll be institutionalized. Meaning you'll break him or yourself. And unfortunately love is not always a factor in why people stay married or together. In fact it maybe way down the list. People say all the time is love enough ....well flip that around is all the other stuff enough. In fact it maybe way down the list.

One question...just one :D...what would happen if you pulled all restrictions... all boundaries ... all rules on everything ...dates, sleepovers, emails, texting , money, what furniture they can have sex on ... everything ...what do you think would happen?

Juust so everyone knows I got follow up questions :eek: and keeping it to one is really hard :(

Dingedheart, thanks for the tip. I'll take it into consideration. But why not post? He leaves for his date so excited to see her. He tries to contain it, but I already know he's excited. I smile as he leaves "Have a wonderful night, dear!" But inside, I'm not a happy person about it.

So why isn't love enough? Or are you saying that he's staying with me for other reasons? I've feared that all along. But I do know that he loves me, and I will hang onto that as long as I can.

I've tried, indirectly, to make some restrictions but he's hesitant. I don't know what would happen if I did. I'm scared to find out. That's not a card I want to play, yet. So I try, more innocently, to make those things happen. For example, I have asked him to stop messaging her when he's at home with me. I can't message them while he's with her. I know that upset her, alot. She only sees him once a week and would like for him to contact her more considering she can't see him more, but I've limited that. I don't really care, but it's a way to control the situation, hurt her, maybe she'll leave. They have a standard date night, have had it for the entire time they've been together, and I've started scheduling stuff on that same night so he's forced to reschedule with her, or suffer my disappointment. :eek: I don't want him to tell her that he loves her via email or text anymore. But it's all done under the guise that it bothers me, when in actual fact, I just want to remove the connection for her.

Furniture? That's funny. But you're on to something, she used to stay over here with him when I travelled for work, and they would sleep in our bed. At the time, I didn't care. It's just sex. But now, that's come to a stop. She is not welcome here anymore. So yeah, I guess furniture is off limits now too. :D
 
As a primary and a secondary, you are a manipulative, mean woman. I stayed quiet when you referred to her as the other woman, and you apologized for the term. Now you say that as the secondary she should know her place? Apparently she does. She is making your husband happy, she loves him. All you want to do is win this little competition with no regards to the feelings of anyone else involved.

I have been tossed aside because the primary decided they had no desire to get to know me. It hurts even IF you have your own primary that loves you. Screw you lady!
 
To all who have contributed to this thread:


I have read the full length of it. I know there are a lot of very good people trying to help Daffodil. I have tried myself. Every once in a while someone comes along who is not interested or ready for help. There is no reason for anyone to be on the receiving end of her abuse. I'm going to back away from this thread. I very respectfully recommend to all that you do the same.
 
Why not post when their on a date ...... because you sound unhinged :eek: thats why .


My question was to promote the thinking in terms of if there were no restrictions what do you think would happen. Would he vote his preference with his feet and actions. Would his focus become her...or( in your mind more of her). Or would nothing horrible or dramatic change.


Whats special about your relationship with him?
 
Why not post when their on a date ...... because you sound unhinged :eek: thats why .


My question was to promote the thinking in terms of if there were no restrictions what do you think would happen. Would he vote his preference with his feet and actions. Would his focus become her...or( in your mind more of her). Or would nothing horrible or dramatic change.


Whats special about your relationship with him?

Hey D, maybe she should enjoy a Pina Colada or two to relax during date night??? Perhaps with a friend? Guy, Girl, whatever her preference...

Mmmm Pina Coladas. :D:D:D:D
 
To all who have contributed to this thread:


I have read the full length of it. I know there are a lot of very good people trying to help Daffodil. I have tried myself. Every once in a while someone comes along who is not interested or ready for help. There is no reason for anyone to be on the receiving end of her abuse. I'm going to back away from this thread. I very respectfully recommend to all that you do the same.

A wonderful suggestion, and most aptly timed. I wonder if we couldn't go one step further and have the thread locked?
 
As a primary and a secondary, you are a manipulative, mean woman. I stayed quiet when you referred to her as the other woman, and you apologized for the term. Now you say that as the secondary she should know her place? Apparently she does. She is making your husband happy, she loves him. All you want to do is win this little competition with no regards to the feelings of anyone else involved.

I have been tossed aside because the primary decided they had no desire to get to know me. It hurts even IF you have your own primary that loves you. Screw you lady!

Sorry that you were tossed aside, but you were secondary. :D
As a primary, you must already recognize the insignificance of that.

My question was to promote the thinking in terms of if there were no restrictions what do you think would happen. Would he vote his preference with his feet and actions. Would his focus become her...or( in your mind more of her). Or would nothing horrible or dramatic change.


Whats special about your relationship with him?

His focus would be on her. That's why I need this to come to an end.

Our relationship is also special, es . We have been together for a long time, we are very similar in interests, we do care for each other, we own a home, share family and friends. We have been through many struggles together including illness and exploring an open relationship. We have shared a lover in a triad, we have each had separate relationships and yet we managed to stay together. But this one is different. It worries me, alot.

A wonderful suggestion, and most aptly timed. I wonder if we couldn't go one step further and have the thread locked?

Aww Love, and here I thought you were on my side, just a little. :D

To figure out what Daffodil wants to hear, other than "I'm gone, he's all yours." To see what might help her cope. I do believe she can.
 
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