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  #11  
Old 03-22-2019, 10:04 PM
Lovetriangle Lovetriangle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Lovetriangle, welcome.

Would you like to pick out nicknames for your friends? Our Guidelines suggest it as it makes your story easier to follow, and it's easier for us to reference them if they have names instead of "partner," or "friend."

It sounds like it's been a lot of work for you to establish a friendship with this other woman. But the work has been worth it.

You write that your Partner doesn't sexually attract you because she's a bit out of the range of body size that arouses you. I assume Friend has the correct body size, since she turns you on?

So, if you weren't with Partner I guess you'd want to enter into sex with Friend beyond "messing around a lot." I assume your Partner knows you "mess around a lot" with friend, and neither of you see that as cheating?

Just as your relationship with Partner is basically asexual, and always has been "greysexual" pretty much, for one reason or another, and yet, you love her very much and enjoy cuddling, so the relationship with friend isn't fully sexual (personally I call messing around to arousal "sexual behavior" as do many people, but whatever), but you still enjoying touching her, being with her, talking, laughing, helping her, etc., etc. You say you love being with her and "would do anything" for either woman.

I can only say what I am reading, but it kind of sounds like you're the hinge in a poly V already.

If we use poly terms, Friend is your secondary. She's very important to you, a very very close friend whom you find attractive and sexy.

You wouldn't need to split your time equally with both women to be in a poly relationship with each. Lots of people with Primary, or nesting partners, spend more time with them, and less with other partner(s).

Would it make you uncomfortable to explore whether you really are already practicing poly?

One extra question. You're not sexually attracted to Partner. Is she attracted to you? Does she have a libido, or does she repress it for your sake? I'm asking because if you're attracted to Friend, but not to her, this could cause her discomfort (envy, etc.). Maybe you're already discussed this.
In relation to splitting my time equally, I realise that this is not required but it leaves me feeling torn as I wish I could give them both everything. And since that is not possible, and Lizzie is my priority, Rosie would always miss out. And so, if she wasn't already in a relationship with someone else as is, I still could not blame her for going to someone else over me who can give her more than I can. I want her to be happy, after all.

No, it does not make me uncomfortable to explore if I am already practicing poly. Although I am familiar with the general term, I'm not so familiar with the more specific terminologies within this realm.

With regard to Lizzie's libido, there has been occasions where I have implicitely or explicitely shown willingness to engage in some kind of sexual activity, even if it was just oral sex and such, but she has not shown much interest to be honest. Without discussing this objectively, at the moment I can't say for certain if she still has a libido or not. Over the past 2 years we have both suffered with depression at different times and I do know that she has had no interest in sex when she had been affected.

Last edited by Lovetriangle; Yesterday at 01:33 AM.
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  #12  
Old 03-22-2019, 10:18 PM
Lovetriangle Lovetriangle is offline
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Here's a few random tidbits that may be indicative of the amusingly confusing situation...

- Rosie thinks the staff at her work probably think we are having an affair

- Rosie's son at home: "Does Lovetriangle live here?" / Rosie: "No, mummy lives with boyfriend, mummy doesn't live with friend" / Lovetriangle in jest: "I could move in" / Rosie: "Don't think boyfriend would like that, and don't think Lizzie would like that"

- Rosie told me her boyfriend is a bit jealous of me, and also said "that is never gonna happen because I love that boy to bits"

- Rosie telling her son that I'm not his step-dad and that her boyfriend is his step-dad

- Me and Rosie sometimes spending entire days together and more time with each other than anyone else

- Rosie's mum jokingly asking if we are joint at the hip

- When me and Rosie go somewhere together we probably look like a couple

Last edited by Lovetriangle; Yesterday at 01:38 AM.
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