YouAreHere
Well-known member
Chatted with the ladies from work last week - I think everything was pretty much the wine talking. LecturingFriend wasn't intending to be judgmental, but was doing the whole "don't you hurt her or you deal with us" stuff... still eye-rolling to me, but they meant well and Chops wasn't offended, so there ya go.
Stressed up the wazoo with the impending visit (they arrive in two days), and I am finding myself reacting in kind with damn near everything... getting cranky about stupid inconveniences, getting insecure and worried about other shit. Just... ugh. I am winding myself up, and I KNOW I'm winding myself up, but I'm not sure how to stop the cycle because I have so much shit to do before they get here (hide what isn't nailed down, hide the damned booze so there aren't any abuse triggers, get the meals and food planned and bought, get the living room set up to be a hotel room for 5 days, etc.). I've taken next Monday off, and once they leave, I will sit alone in my house and just friggin' RECOVER. Or, I may wrangle a bunch of friends together and talk non-stop about it all. I haven't decided yet.
I'm finding all sorts of things triggery right now, especially the "old standbys": FB is an annoying PITA, and potential schedule changes are getting me worried. I'm finding myself going through multiple "what-if" scenarios regarding MiddleSis and her BF.
The latest: MiddleSis has been needling BabySis for an entire week to send her money. BabySis is refusing, and out of exasperation told MiddleSis that if she were to somehow push me into giving her more money, BabySis would pay me back because I've done enough.
To MiddleSis, of course, this became "Ask YAH and I'll pay her back."
Uh, no.
MiddleSis likes to ask for $20 via Western Union to cover tampons because her "period started early". She has used this excuse REPEATEDLY, so you'd think she'd carry extra by now . Even if not, most people would be understanding if you explained and asked if you could borrow one. So yeah, I don't buy it. Cigarette money? Yeah... I'd believe that. So, when she asked me yesterday, I called her bluff. Said I could send her a $5 Walmart gift card through her email to cover a box of Tampons. She said she'd need a ride there, so I asked her to let me know if she found one. Crickets.
Go figure.
I don't mind sending a gift card if she really needs it, but I won't be taken advantage of again. As it stands, I'm holding off on buying the return bus ticket, since she's threatening to check herself into a crisis center before she flies out. I'm kinda rooting for that to happen, to be honest. Paying a bit more at the ticket office to get them to leave is better than paying $300 for tickets that won't get used.
Sigh. Check in on me in a week. I will probably either be sleeping or spewing out an update. Or both, in some odd sleep-spewing fugue.
Stressed up the wazoo with the impending visit (they arrive in two days), and I am finding myself reacting in kind with damn near everything... getting cranky about stupid inconveniences, getting insecure and worried about other shit. Just... ugh. I am winding myself up, and I KNOW I'm winding myself up, but I'm not sure how to stop the cycle because I have so much shit to do before they get here (hide what isn't nailed down, hide the damned booze so there aren't any abuse triggers, get the meals and food planned and bought, get the living room set up to be a hotel room for 5 days, etc.). I've taken next Monday off, and once they leave, I will sit alone in my house and just friggin' RECOVER. Or, I may wrangle a bunch of friends together and talk non-stop about it all. I haven't decided yet.
I'm finding all sorts of things triggery right now, especially the "old standbys": FB is an annoying PITA, and potential schedule changes are getting me worried. I'm finding myself going through multiple "what-if" scenarios regarding MiddleSis and her BF.
The latest: MiddleSis has been needling BabySis for an entire week to send her money. BabySis is refusing, and out of exasperation told MiddleSis that if she were to somehow push me into giving her more money, BabySis would pay me back because I've done enough.
To MiddleSis, of course, this became "Ask YAH and I'll pay her back."
Uh, no.
MiddleSis likes to ask for $20 via Western Union to cover tampons because her "period started early". She has used this excuse REPEATEDLY, so you'd think she'd carry extra by now . Even if not, most people would be understanding if you explained and asked if you could borrow one. So yeah, I don't buy it. Cigarette money? Yeah... I'd believe that. So, when she asked me yesterday, I called her bluff. Said I could send her a $5 Walmart gift card through her email to cover a box of Tampons. She said she'd need a ride there, so I asked her to let me know if she found one. Crickets.
Go figure.
I don't mind sending a gift card if she really needs it, but I won't be taken advantage of again. As it stands, I'm holding off on buying the return bus ticket, since she's threatening to check herself into a crisis center before she flies out. I'm kinda rooting for that to happen, to be honest. Paying a bit more at the ticket office to get them to leave is better than paying $300 for tickets that won't get used.
Sigh. Check in on me in a week. I will probably either be sleeping or spewing out an update. Or both, in some odd sleep-spewing fugue.
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