**Keeping it "Vanilla"

HappyCouple75

New member
So while our Couple is working to reconnect.

They have asked that we keep it "vanilla" for now.
I support this ,cause I support them being happy and reconnecting.

It's been 3 days and still waiting for the Guild lines on "Keeping it Vanilla"
(They work opposite shifts and timing has been rough for them to be together long enough to really talk.
Prior to them acknowledging they needed to reconnect. We talked daily/texted/shared daily pictures and more.
And this period of time is been rough.

So my question would be?

How would you define "VANILLA"?
 
Totally agree....

The reason I ask is they have not yet talked about what guild lines they want to set for the VANILLA period till they finish reconnecting.
I'm looking for suggestion so I know what would be a good thing and bad thing to know my limits in the time being
 
Well... what's your normal level of kink? Can you do without for a while? How long would be too long? It's up to you to define your limits.

Edit: Or do you/they mean mono rather than vanilla?
 
I don't think anyone can answer this for you. The definition of "vanilla" depends on you.

In my context - we use vanilla to be a comparison of "us" versus "them" where "them" are "non-whatever I'm doing" people. We would be considered vanilla by our BDSM friends.
 
Maybe you could just text them and something to the effect that you are totally supportive of their reconnection process, but just so there are no inadvertent misunderstandings, could you define vanilla?
 
Good advice....
Just want i need to hear.
And yes we are working on defining VANILLA.

But waiting on them to really set the guild lines...​
 
In your polyship, do they set the tone/terms and you comply? Or is this supposed to be a collaborative thing? I'm not sure how it works in your polyshipping. Could you please clarify that?

Because you don't really seem to need help defining "vanilla." You seem to need help/support enduring the waiting time.


You could spend the waiting time articulating and defining your OWN boundaries and what YOU consider "vanilla" and what your own wants, needs and limits are. For YOURSELF.

While you wait for each of them to define each of theirs so you can then assess if you can get your wants/needs met here or not and things line up or not.

Just a thought...

HTH!
Galagirl
 
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In your polyship, do they set the tone/terms and you comply? Or is this supposed to be a collaborative thing? I'm not sure how it works in your polyshipping. Could you please clarify that?

Because you don't really seem to need help defining "vanilla." You seem to need help/support enduring the waiting time.


You could spend the waiting time articulating and defining your OWN boundaries and what YOU consider "vanilla" and what your own wants, needs and limits are. For YOURSELF.

While you wait for each of them to define each of theirs so you can then assess if you can get your wants/needs met here or not and things line up or not.

Just a thought...

HTH!
Galagirl

EXACTLY...........You get my point.

we just had a sit down tonight and talk over things and we know now "Vanilla" means.

we are patient and want so much for they to reconnect. We know and hope they will be even strong after. No matter how much time they NEED, it matters to us they are in love and connecting healthy.

we know now, that short term guidelines have been set, and are acceptable.

To be honest it me the Male and his wife that had connected so hard. And it been tough to pull back. But we as a group, totally understand each other and the MALES talk very easily. That makes thing so much better,

Thanks for all your help,
Finding this site has given me a place to talk and vent and to be happy
 
we - we - we - we

Reading your posts reminds me of Anthem (Ayn Rand).

It's good to know where your partners stand but I encourage you to discover where *you* stand. Unless you are a member of The Borg, you get to have your own opinion.
 
Reading your posts reminds me of Anthem (Ayn Rand).

It's good to know where your partners stand but I encourage you to discover where *you* stand. Unless you are a member of The Borg, you get to have your own opinion.

You WILL be assimilated! :p
 
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