AlwaysGrowing
Well-known member
Did you experience any sort of bad cycles like this (specifically regarding your sex life with him, not your emotional closeness)? The closer he got to her, the more you lost interest in him...the more he sought her out....the more you pulled away sexually...? Did this in any way cause your sex life to take longer to recover...? Or is something like that more to do with a person who ultimately doesn't want/can't handle poly?
(Mind you, in my case, this wasn't something that happened instantly, it happened over several months, so we didn't quite realize until after the fact how much his being with me, was affecting her with him. We thought she had just checked out of the relationship because she no longer had feelings for him.)
I did notice that the more time they spent together, the less I was interested, HOWEVER there were other factors in play as well. He works full time, was in school full time, and I worked full time with an opposing schedule. Time spent with her often directly took time away from what we normally spent together OR would cause him to need to focus on homework when we could have had time together OR happened directly before we had time together and he's horrible at time management so would usually run late which led to me being pissy at first.
So there was a lot of general disconnect between us directly relating to me not getting the amount of quality time that I need in my relationship with Hubby.
We're just now back to normal - the disconnect started late last year. His school work has gotten less demanding, I've gotten a new job, and he's no longer dating/having sex with anyone else for the time being. Since we have time together now, I think I could handle him using his time/energy focused on someone else a lot better than I could when he and Lady were seeing each other. It would be interesting to see if the pattern happened again or if it was just a unique situation.