wiredpsyche
New member
A lot of people go into relationships thinking they can "change" the other person. This happens quite a bit when it comes to having children - one partner wants them and the other partner doesn't, and each thinks the other will eventually change their mind.
Yes, yes and YES. I get this in EVERY relationship I've ever been in. I find people are different in the beginning of the relationship - and I seem to end up with those who are paranoid I'll leave so they hide the less savory parts of them until later, and then I find *I* want them to "change" (back)!
This I don't understand, I guess. Anybody who lies to me about something like that is gone quickly. Homey don't play them games.
I'm not too good at letting go, something I really have to work on because it has been making me miserable.
If possible, dip their feet in the water by dating someone else while you're still "just dating" them, before it becomes a serious relationship and you get too attached. That would give you the chance to see how they actually deal with it when it's more than theoretical.
This is excellent advice!
You'll find lots of cheaters and relatively few poly folk, if your area is anything like this one.
Many more openly poly folk among the local Pagans and Burners.
Drat. When I lived in NJ I had a great poly group of friends - most of whom I never fully comprehended were poly. They were a mix of SCA/LARPers. I guess you could call them a network, as they wern't so strictly in pairs or trios. Sometimes I regret not having joined in more (I did occasionally, when I was single, but always behaved while mono).