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  #11  
Old 01-08-2019, 10:50 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Heh, mumbled talking and fabric rustling, don't know why that makes me laugh.
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  #12  
Old 01-08-2019, 10:54 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valynn View Post
I have been on most of the popular dating sites, with the exception of Tinder, for years. I have been deemed by eHarmony to be "unmatchable".
Interesting. Because you want open relationships?

[quote[ And I recently had a meetup with a guy from OKcupid. But he wasn't interested on taking it further.
[/quote]

I have had first dates with SO MANY MEN from OK Cupid. Hardly any of them have worked out. It's not that all the men were total losers, I am just really picky.

I have been seeing one OKC guy since August. I also met my long term (10 years) live-in female partner on OKC right after my divorce! I've had 3 other 2.5 year relationships with men from OKC, and a handful that lasted 4-7 months before they ended for one reason or another. It's work to find someone compatible, and I'm in a suburban area east of Boston which is quite progressive.
Quote:
On all of my profiles I say at the top that I am Poly/non-monogamous. And yes I have encountered some really nutso religious people out there, be it IRL or the internet.

I also have never picked a guy up from a bar. I walked out that night with his cell # & the memory of some very hot kisses.
Quote:
I never said that I was afraid of losing him. I have a tendency of being "too much" or as I call it "scary to handle". I didn't want to overload him with too much information at once. I have conformed for relationships in the past and they never ended well. I refuse to waste my time & his on something that is just not compatible.

Oh I misquoted you. You said you didn't want to scare him off. I don't find that people find me "too much," or "scary." But some men said I am "adventurous and charming," but they are looking for monogamy.
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Mags (poly, F, 63)
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's bf since April 2013
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  #13  
Old 01-09-2019, 12:24 AM
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Valynn Valynn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Interesting. Because you want open relationships?
Probably.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I have had first dates with SO MANY MEN from OK Cupid. Hardly any of them have worked out. It's not that all the men were total losers, I am just really picky.

I have been seeing one OKC guy since August. I also met my long term (10 years) live-in female partner on OKC right after my divorce! I've had 3 other 2.5 year relationships with men from OKC, and a handful that lasted 4-7 months before they ended for one reason or another. It's work to find someone compatible, and I'm in a suburban area east of Boston which is quite progressive.
I am smack dab in the middle of Nassau County on Long Island, so I am as suburban as you are. I too have become very picky about who I date. After the fiasco of my failed triad-esque relationship. I do not want to do that again.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Oh I misquoted you. You said you didn't want to scare him off. I don't find that people find me "too much," or "scary." But some men said I am "adventurous and charming," but they are looking for monogamy.
Not a problem.
I feel like I give off the impression that I am an in you face , never back down, super sensual, tom boy type woman. And to the men I have met it in very intimidating. Plus I am 5'8 & 1/2" tall in flats. So I end up being their height as well. Roma is a slight bit taller than me so that isn't a problem
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Valynn (Me)- 45 F bi/poly/divorced
Dexus- 21 M- son of Valynn. US Navy Airman.
Roma- 55 - M Straight Mono, Possible ???
Angela- 45 F Bi Poly best friend
JR - 45 M Straight Mono, Angela's LTR
------------------------------------------------
M'lord Sir- 56 M Straight/Married Soft Dom, Occasional Medieval Play Partner

Last edited by Valynn; 01-09-2019 at 12:35 AM.
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  #14  
Old 01-09-2019, 01:12 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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eHarmony won't match people who aren't straight, so the bisexual bit might have been the issue. Also they are Christian fundamentalist owned so pagan is a no go too (although they might not admit that).
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  #15  
Old 01-09-2019, 01:37 AM
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Valynn Valynn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
eHarmony won't match people who aren't straight, so the bisexual bit might have been the issue. Also they are Christian fundamentalist owned so pagan is a no go too (although they might not admit that).
Of course they aren't going to mention those things. they would lose all their business. I still believe that the questions are just a bunch of phoey anyway. Ever take a look at the happy married couple they show on their commercials? They all have the same fucking noses. It's scary.
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Valynn (Me)- 45 F bi/poly/divorced
Dexus- 21 M- son of Valynn. US Navy Airman.
Roma- 55 - M Straight Mono, Possible ???
Angela- 45 F Bi Poly best friend
JR - 45 M Straight Mono, Angela's LTR
------------------------------------------------
M'lord Sir- 56 M Straight/Married Soft Dom, Occasional Medieval Play Partner
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  #16  
Old 01-09-2019, 01:43 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Hey Valyn, the last time you posted was a year ago, asking the same question (when do I tell a prospective partner I am poly?), as now.

You didn't update about that guy from a year ago, I don't think. Greg(?) was from SCA and you were planning a weekend with him. That didn't work out, I guess.

Isn't it odd, that in a year, you still haven't decided when it's the right time to tell a new person you're poly?

And btw, I also grew up on LI, Suffolk County.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 63)
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's bf since April 2013
BigGuy (poly, M, married, 43, dating me since June 2018)
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  #17  
Old 01-09-2019, 09:31 PM
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Valynn Valynn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Hey Valyn, the last time you posted was a year ago, asking the same question (when do I tell a prospective partner I am poly?), as now.

You didn't update about that guy from a year ago, I don't think. Greg(?) was from SCA and you were planning a weekend with him. That didn't work out, I guess.

Isn't it odd, that in a year, you still haven't decided when it's the right time to tell a new person you're poly?

And btw, I also grew up on LI, Suffolk County.
Yo, gurl! Ya's gotta friend here! LOL (thank the Gods I do not talk like that.)

*huge sigh* Greg. He wasn't what I was looking for or lead me to believe. I never got to stay at his house. And I found out after event season started for me, (the busy season) that he was in a LDR with a woman from Brazil. Who, had just moved to the US.
I was so furious that I let myself not see his cheating that I just shut down & concentrated on my soapmaking business.

I had thought about doing an update on the other thread. But I didn't want my feelings about Greg to tainting what I was hoping to be finding in Roma.
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Valynn (Me)- 45 F bi/poly/divorced
Dexus- 21 M- son of Valynn. US Navy Airman.
Roma- 55 - M Straight Mono, Possible ???
Angela- 45 F Bi Poly best friend
JR - 45 M Straight Mono, Angela's LTR
------------------------------------------------
M'lord Sir- 56 M Straight/Married Soft Dom, Occasional Medieval Play Partner

Last edited by Valynn; 01-09-2019 at 10:16 PM.
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  #18  
Old 01-11-2019, 11:02 PM
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Valynn Valynn is offline
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Default Quick Update

Roma called to reschedule our date for next Friday due to being too ill from having multiple cancer treatments this week.

I am not surprised and actually had told him that that this was a possibility of happening. I told him to take care and that I will continue to call him during the week as we have been doing.
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Valynn (Me)- 45 F bi/poly/divorced
Dexus- 21 M- son of Valynn. US Navy Airman.
Roma- 55 - M Straight Mono, Possible ???
Angela- 45 F Bi Poly best friend
JR - 45 M Straight Mono, Angela's LTR
------------------------------------------------
M'lord Sir- 56 M Straight/Married Soft Dom, Occasional Medieval Play Partner

Last edited by Valynn; 01-12-2019 at 02:24 AM.
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  #19  
Old 01-12-2019, 02:10 PM
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FallenAngelina FallenAngelina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valynn View Post
I have conformed for relationships in the past and they never ended well.
They never end well for anyone who is conforming for another. So what if you're "too much" for him? Nobody is "too much" for the right person. Tell him who you are, listen to who he is. This is what dating is for. When someone is right for you, there is nothing you can be or say that will scare them off and you don't have to carefully drip feed them info about yourself, you just spill all over each other with glee.
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  #20  
Old 01-12-2019, 03:08 PM
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Valynn Valynn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngelina View Post
They never end well for anyone who is conforming for another. So what if you're "too much" for him? Nobody is "too much" for the right person. Tell him who you are, listen to who he is. This is what dating is for. When someone is right for you, there is nothing you can be or say that will scare them off and you don't have to carefully drip feed them info about yourself, you just spill all over each other with glee.
That is what I am hoping for.

The last thing I said to my mom as she dropped me at the bar on NYE was "Hey, with the new year upon us, maybe I'll find my a man! with the last part of the statement said with a cartoonist twang. It seems to be coming true and I don't want to mess it up.
__________________
Valynn (Me)- 45 F bi/poly/divorced
Dexus- 21 M- son of Valynn. US Navy Airman.
Roma- 55 - M Straight Mono, Possible ???
Angela- 45 F Bi Poly best friend
JR - 45 M Straight Mono, Angela's LTR
------------------------------------------------
M'lord Sir- 56 M Straight/Married Soft Dom, Occasional Medieval Play Partner
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