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Old 02-21-2019, 12:13 AM
Leetah Leetah is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Western US
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Default Some worthwhile advice for newcomers

This is a bit of a read but has useful cautions for people getting into non-monogamy. Mostly "Don't beat yourself up, or allow others to beat you up, if polyamory is not all milk and honey for you".

Thirteen things I wish I’d learned before choosing non-monogamy-

" I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant"

Last edited by Leetah; 02-21-2019 at 12:20 AM.
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Old 02-21-2019, 12:33 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 17,344

Looks like a good article.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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Old 02-21-2019, 01:40 PM
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Al99 Al99 is offline
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Posts: 2,357

Thanks, Leetah - this is a really good article. I'm going to add it to my reference list.

Dramatis Personae:
Me: Al99, poly, heterosexual male, 50's
Becky: married to Al99, poly, heterosexual female, late 30's
Bouncingbetty: ldr girlfriend to Al99, poly, pansexual female, early 30's
Jill: local fwb to Al99, heterosexual female, early 50's.
Ben: Becky's medium-ldr bf, heterosexual male, 40's
Mike: Becky's local fwb, heterosexual male, early 50's.

My Introductory Post - An Unexpected Introduction to Poly.
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Old 02-21-2019, 03:17 PM
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FallenAngelina FallenAngelina is online now
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Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 2,400

Definitely worth reading, Leetah. Thank you for posting.
~ Karen
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Old 02-22-2019, 03:19 AM
Vicki82 Vicki82 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 417

I can't say I agree with all of it- I definitely think that relationships involve skills, and partner selection is also a skill.

But some useful concepts.
Me: 36 yrs, poly pansexual Dominant woman.
My People:
Henry, 31yrs, my husband & collared submissive (4yrs), poly, pansexual, currently no other partners.
Charles, 26yrs, my boyfriend (Aug 2018), poly, heteroflexible, currently no other partners.
Jennifer, 43yrs, ex girlfriend but very close friend.
Mark/xH, ex husband of ten years.
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Old 02-22-2019, 10:48 AM
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vinsanity0 vinsanity0 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 2,099

Worth reading? Yes, but there is a lot to sift through to get to the meat. I found myself going WTF a lot, followed by "Oh THAT'S what they meant."

And yeah, relationshipping takes skill. To say it doesn't, but to go on and say it requires certain skills was one of those WTF moments.
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