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  #41  
Old 02-18-2019, 01:01 AM
Leetah Leetah is offline
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Great to hear! Thanks for the update and the hard won words of wisdom.

Leetah
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  #42  
Old 02-18-2019, 07:29 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Luck wished. I'm glad to hear that things are going better now.
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  #43  
Old 02-19-2019, 03:33 PM
JackDarlene JackDarlene is offline
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"...my kind of jealousy is more of a I-am-so-much-better-why-would-he-waste-his-time-with-her-when-he-could-be-with-me?…

I have found no information on how to handel this kind of jealousy in any self-help forum so far."

If two people voluntarily spend time together, it's because something in each of them meets a need in the other (whether or not that need is even recognized or acknowledged). If he's 'wasting his time with her' it's because she meets a need of his. Whether he's aware of what that need is or willing/able to recognize it is another matter. It's not something that you can do anything about ... it just is. If you can't live with it and can't get past it, you may want to consider whether continuing the relationship will meet Your needs.

Just a thought.
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  #44  
Old 02-24-2019, 03:32 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kindalosthere View Post
Hello beautiful people!....

So, I guess that’s what I wanted to share: I’m happy, I’m hopeful and I’m still moving. Wish me luck!
Best of luck in your relationship and all of your endeavors!
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JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-always-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (26+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (8+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


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  #45  
Old 02-24-2019, 05:27 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Thanks for the update, kindalost. No, I'm not surprised to see you back here. Venting here and getting advice was helpful to you last year, so it's only natural you'd want to share your progress.

I'm glad Arthur and Brianna finally broke up! So much fighting! I almost had to laugh at her insistence you and he make up a written relationship contract (again reminding me of Big Bang Theory), just because she had one with him.

I'm glad a therapist is helping Arthur heal from his breakup. It shouldn't all be on you.

Do either of you have real life friends that understand polyamory and can be sounding boards for you around how to do poly? Or is it only here and with a therapist that you can figure things out?

I think it's fine to "rest" on both sides and be Closed for as long as you want. Your relationship got off to a rocky and, may I say, unnatural start. Why not just enjoy the normal getting to know you fun and dates now?

One little red flag is how you're imagining maybe at some point you'll open on your side for some casual sex only. Doing casual sex takes a certain precautionary skill set. Sex is bonding and often causes feelings, and then there you'll be... polyamorous again. When you're not really ready for it.
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Mags (poly, F, 63)
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