Plans for Family Expansion
No, we are not getting preggers with Vanilla. Yet.
But we talked about it and have decided to begin her Dom-hunt in earnest. Qualities we are looking for;
1) No lifestylers and no gf seekers. No time, no energy, no interest.
2) Proximity. No time, no patience, no money for LDRs right now.
3) Experience. In Real Life.
4) Dependability. Returns calls, sticks to dates, keeps promises.
5) Predictability. No moodiness, same behaviour leads to same outcomes every time.
6) Doesn't need to resort to punishments. Punishing your sub for honest mistakes is a sign of weakness and not a healthy basis to build trust on.
7) Humility. Doesn't need to be always right, even when clearly wrong.
8) Male. Vanilla would welcome a Domme, but with me in her life she feels she only has the energy for one additional, more casual relationship, and that would have to cater both to her submissive and bisexual side.
I know going out with a shopping list for a relationship isn't generally a good idea, but once the D/s starts, it's going to be a serious mindfuck and objectivity can easily be thrown out of the window. With one bad experience already, Vanilla doesn't need any more bullies in her life.
While talking about this I tried to imagine she hitting it off with someone whom I strongly dislike or someone who clearly has no understanding of polyamory and what me being Vanilla's girlfriend means for everyone, i.e. no infringing upon our time, certainly no attempts at domming me etc. I don't know if I'm being naive when I want her both to have this and it NOT affect our relationship. I worry that once in subspace, she will become overly dependent on him and his approval and lose interest in me
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We also talked about how she has no interest in anything beyond bedroom D/s, and how both of us think that polyamory as a concept doesn't really mesh with lifestyle D/s. For her, lifestyling involves orgasm control and the works, and thus entertaining multiple relationships just becomes impossible. Ours is an equal vanilla life partnership, and she doens't want anything messing up with that. I'm happy.
On me front; date number 3 with the New Girl coming up! I'm excited - maybe there will be some kissing involved (my most common euphenism for sex, really - but I always think it will only be kissing, at least in the beginning, and then I'm suddenly naked and wondering what just happened
)? I just disclosed my herpes status with her in a text, she hasn't answered back. If that turns out to be a dealbreaker then it shall; no use crying over spillt milk.
I've been chatting with this guy over OKC for a while now. He's probably going to visit my town sometime soon-ish, and we'll see if there's off-screen chemistry there. Next weekend it's SlutWalk and the last Pride of the season! We'll be staying over at Vanilla's playmates'. Things might evolve into sex or then not. I'm not feeling pressure either way really. Additionally, made preliminary plans with a couple over OKC to meat either all the four of us or just me and them or a combination thereof. They live in the same city with Vanilla's steady FWB, whose been working out and stressing over his fitness level ever since Vanilla announced we might be coming over for a visit, poor sod
. Male performance pressure is something I think I'll never fully get. Vanilla's bragging has just made him a bit insecure, I fear. So I'm thinking of combining two (three?) flies to one stroke down South, maybe meeting the couple on Sat and FWB on Sun, or the other way round. Looks like a busy month or two ahead
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