Hi dingedheart
Hope you are feeling better by now.
So update is that we have been to therapist about 3 times together, he has gone once alone and I have a solo appt next week. While we have certainly told her that we are trying to decide whether we can continue our marriage, I feel that she has focused on his issues of insecurity and his needs rather than on the issues between us. I tend to feel that these should be worked out on his own time and that our joint sessions should be about us. But that is a quirk that I can work out with her when I see her. I did bring it up at the last session together, that I wanted more time to talk about our stuff and coming up with answers and strategies. But then he had a solo session last week.
I plan to discuss with therapist next week how to go about bringing up the topic of divorce or at least separation. I did get some good resources from a friend about collaborative divorce, which I think is exactly how we would want to go. Since we really don't have any assets to divide up (no house or auto loans, not even joint bank accounts...) it is really just about custody and finances around kids for the future.
Orientation for new job end of February... fingers crossed...