redpepper
Active member
I have thought about this line for a few days now as it relates to Karma... so, in essence, you are giving her the Karma you think she deserves? You feel as if she created her own consequence by asking him to be monogamous? If I understand correctly, she asked him to be monogamous to her, even though she knew that you were in his life. She made a request to have her needs met for fidility and HE agreed. He told her that he would do this for her, because he loved her and didn't want to lose her... he said he loves you too, but was willing to jepordize that by agreeing to her request. He then decided that it was okay to have sex with you... and you decided this too (because after all, what does it have to do with you), because he thought her request was not something he could agree to after all.The funny thing with karma is, that often things are the complete opposite of what we commonly think they are. It's interesting how much everyone stresses the cheating part of this story. That's the commonly accepted view, and how most people would react. I would have said the same things not too long ago. In my opinion now though, in terms of karma (truth, enlightment, or whatever you want to call it), it was loveless of her to ask him to become her boyfriend when she felt she couldn't handle his relationship with me. And it was loveless of him to accept it. The cheating was just the natural consequence of this behavior, something that made the contradiction visible, if you want to put it that way. Without the cheating, it would be exactly the same lie, just covered a little better.
This was the moment it all changed I think. HE decided to disrespect her and you and himself at that moment no? He made a mockery of his love for all of you in that moment to me. 1. because he didn't stop right there and say, "you know, I want to show her respect and honour by stopping here and renegotiating the agreement we have. I love you too much it seems to be able to agree to meet her needs on this." 2. because he showed you in that moment that he is not able to control his hormones and cock enough to hold off from having sex with people long enough to think rationally. He basically let you know in that moment that this is the future you and he would have... if you are okay with him sleeping with whomever without telling you then that's fine... I just wonder if you had talked about it, discussed your needs and his and come to the agreement that he could be a free sexing man if he were with you. 3. He made a mockery of his own self love by seemingly shrugging it off as nothing. He has caused himself some pain it seems by how he is acting now. He has some feelings about how he behaved and the choices he made and it seems that it is possible that he has damaged the idea of who he thought he was.
Who's Karma is coming around here? A moment of getting back at someone for having feelings and needs and requesting them... which is what was the healthiest part of this interaction... is not Karma coming around, it's just plain hurtful, calculating, manipulative of peoples fragile position in this arrangement and well, not the best idea in the long run...
I know we have been over this... but in terms of my own journey with this kind of thing,,, this thread has been helpful to me in my own life. A lot resonates with me on many levels in my own journey. Thank you for that.... I realize you are hurting... again, I am sorry for that... but because others read these threads I thought it useful to write this as it might help others make decisions that are more in keeping with possible GOOD Karma.
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