Sailing Solo

Ms. Impatient here...
I texted at around 10pm. Basic thanks for the dinner and i enjoyed meeting you. Must admit I wanted a fairly instant yea or nay so rather than wait and wonder, which I had started to do, I decided to initiate. Glad I did.
Response was an enthusiastic me too and want to meet again soon. We texted for about an hour and I moved it to it slightly flirty territory. He responded in kind.
 
Things are going fine, though I am burned out on class again. Trying to squeeze in a little life around the studying.
I had my third date with OKJoe, not even progressed to hand-holding yet.:D He self describes at awkward and shy. Second date was dinner in his neck of the woods, very pleasant but no moves made at all. I texted about it later and he said he doesn't want to come across as creepy. Third date was a lovely walk and coffee and dessert, he did put his arm around me while listening to the band, but no attempt at a kiss. He says on his profile that he wants to take things slowly, get a long as friends first.
I am enjoying it. We have planned some very fun activities. I won tickets in a school auction for all kinds of things and he likes doing things too, so an activity partner if nothing else. He does express interest through text, pays me compliments, but it is all PG rated. It's all together rather sweet.
 
NYCIndie, so true!

Kink-monster Prof is at his spanking bottoms weekend with Ms Text, Ms Shell and another sub. He said he took my offer to step away to allow Ms Text to go as me not being interested, misunderstood. Apparently Ms Text couldn't make up her mind blah blah blah whatever. Couple privilege at its finest. Sex with Prof is also blah blah blah whatever. It was very good to good, now it's good to eh? He still seems to think it is is great. The quality and quantity is not enough, ED issues continue. I should add that my period started an hour ago so I could be a little grumpy right now.;) and in day 6 of quitting smoking.

Kip still makes my toes curl, hair curl and everything curl. He is currently into reduced length sex sessions 45mins to an hour ( not enough!!!!) followed by lengthy cuddles, nap and talk sessions. He currently "adores" me, he says it is his version of saying I love you, which he never says to anyone because they get all bunny boiler. Apparently while I was not seeing him he saved up a whole lot of talk and emotion and is regurgitating everything in minute detail. He pulled out his phone the other day and went through his dating email account with me. Full disclosure plus. Nice that he is making an effort, but I find I don't really care. We use condoms now, no question, same with Prof. It takes all the wondering what else they are doing out of the equation. I simply take care of me, have fun and let the rest of it go.

OKJoe is indeed a pleasant counterpart. I have not such a great track record with the dominant males so I want to broaden my dating horizons. He is not dominant at all. Possibly a bit too laid back and easy going. One of the reasons I go for the strong personality male is that I have a strong personality too and I like to be steamrolled by hot men, the relief of giving up control can be immense. I am really having to work at not taking over the OKJoe dating thing and let it run at his pace. He made a comment last night about me and my responsibilities. I said I had to be online at 10 am, he thought it was work or class related, "you and your responsibilities" it is actually to get concert tickets. :rolleyes:

I am trying not to think about "dating" him too much, don't have time to analyze and pull it all apart either .;) I think the personality differences will eventually prove to be too much but hopefully we can make good activity partners.
I should add, that Kip and Prof, much as I complain about them, seem to be able to handle my quirks with patience, kindness and understanding. Kip especially doesn't not bend when the tusnami of whatever particular thing I am focused on gets released. That is why I put up with him, that and the mind-blowing sex.
 
I am spending my cigarette money on tickets. I have tickets for all sorts of things, wine tasting, museum, whale watching, kid activities, won some for a rodeo ( which I have given away) am buying tickets for a comedy night, concert and probably a museum trip this weekend. I will not be able to afford to start smoking again :D Kip is supporting my ticket addiction with cash for the big concert. Replacing one behavior with another, smoking with compulsive ticket purchasing, lol, classic.
 
I was a bit ticked off with Prof yesterday. Got a text asking to reschedule Weds to Monday as Ms Text and friends were coming down from Tues till Sunday. I replied with "2 bumps in one week? Ouch." He replied with " not my idea of a good time." I stewed about it yesterday and calmed down today. He has been more than reasonable when my ex flakes, in fact did 2 months of solid compromising plus quite a few others.
Half my annoyance is due to the fact that I am not really free to go without paying for a sitter or swapping nights with the ex. This is not Prof's fault but sometimes it is easier to direct anger and frustration outwards. And he is very good at not outright cancelling but rescheduling.
 
The last time I went on a daytime weekend date was November 2013. I have only had a few weekend night dates since Prof and Ms Text changed their rules at the the beginning of this year and those nights have been sex and food. And a few nights with rugby guy, who incidentally randomly texted me this week. I did not respond.
This weekend I am seeing OKJoe on Saturday night, we are going to a small music concert and then Sunday we are going kayaking. I am sooooooo nervous. After whining and moaning about this endlessly, it is finally happening. Weekend dates!
This is normal, right? Feels so weird.
 
Thanks NYC :D

Let's talk about sex, baby.
I saw Prof on Monday all excited and full of ideas after his spanking bottoms weekend. I am kind of glad I didn't go, it all seemed a bit public to me and I would have had to talk to people. :p
He got some soft rope and tied me up with a few simple but very pretty twists. Played a bit, had a bit of sex. In his words, " I get to tie you up and fuck you as hard as I want." I said you can fuck me harder than that. The actual sex part was less than 10 minutes while tied up. Then he untied me, oh goody, I thought, here comes the good part. Nope, he was done. Wanted some after-play, holding and chatting. At one point he held me close, looked deep into my eyes and said, "I really like you, Atlantis." I responded with, " I really like you to Professor, can we hold hands sometime?" So junior high. "I really like you." :rolleyes: I really want some sex that lasts more than 10 minutes.

Don't know what to do, he knows there is an issue, takes Cialis, so there is little to be gained by me pointing out that the things aren't quite right in that department. I am wondering if all the BD play is a bit of a cover. I played with the idea that I am not sexy or attractive enough. So I booty called Kip and we had a couple of hours and great play and sex on Wednesday. It may be only one data point in this particular study, but it did affirm that I can go for hours with the right partner. I do however remember that Yo said I was "appettive" and a very energetic lover. It was a bit much for him, he had the ED issues too. So what do I say to Prof? Every time it has come up, or down;) he has an excuse, tired, didn't eat enough, stress, that was great but he is satisfied.


Kip plays tennis 3+ days a week, golfs and is in good shape. Despite my smoking I am also in very good shape. (12 days and counting!!!) Prof does not exercise, I have tried to get him to do some active stuff with me and he doesn't want to. He has been very fit at points in his life so not like exercise is foreign to him.

Side step. The quitting smoking is so very hard. I quit for 5 years and started up again about 2 years ago. I keep expecting it get easier. It is not. Thank the gods for nicotine gum. I keep telling myself it is for the whales! I will not go on the boat jonesing for a smoke the whole time. People laugh when I tell them the motivation. Should be more about health and long life than an boat trip. lol.

Back to sex, or lack thereof. So, at this point, I am aware I like sex, a lot of it and pretty aggressive is best. By aggressive I don't mean painful, though the biting and scratching is the icing on the cake. I mean being completely dominated by my partner, and going hard at it. I love that energy of aggressive desire. Fuck like the world is about to end, have some slow and gentle breaks, but then amp up the volume again. I have extended this thinking to mean I don't want to have sex with OKJoe. I like him and don't want to have bad sex. Maybe he is a wild demon in bed but I doubt it. I was flirting a little last night by text then backed away. He seems very gentle and sweet and wants to take things slowly. He said he would be forward and hold my hand tonight. Still waters run deep and all that but....

I refer back to his OK profile to remind myself not to be a bossy boots. I did have to ask him for a day and time for kayaking, I have things to do this weekend. He likes to plan later in the week, I plan and schedule constantly. I do not want to be the driving force, I can be like a Mack truck. Splat. Then lose respect. He did ask me out for next weekend too, a comedy night in the city, it would involve a sitter. Is he "sitter worthy"? Think Elaine in Seinfeld :p. Yup it's for an activity. I'll fork out for it.

I will have to see Prof sometime over the weekend, I rode the scooter to my friend's house, a near perfect run. Then I couldn't get the beast to stay started for the trip home. Throttle full open and it kept dying. We could push it to his in 10 minutes, he lives very close to her. He texted mid-week to say he might have Saturday and/or Sunday night open. I feel I should say something about the sex, but would rather just avoid him. How mature.

So excited to see OKJOe tonight and go to the show. I have been playing the artist all week, bit country, bit blues, bit bluegrassy, bit rock. I will dance and try not to be too flirty, he is awfully cute.
 
Played a bit, had a bit of sex. In his words, " I get to tie you up and fuck you as hard as I want." I said you can fuck me harder than that. The actual sex part was less than 10 minutes while tied up. Then he untied me, oh goody, I thought, here comes the good part. Nope, he was done.

. . .I really want some sex that lasts more than 10 minutes.

. . . So what do I say to Prof? . . . He texted mid-week to say he might have Saturday and/or Sunday night open. I feel I should say something about the sex, but . . .

How about saying something like, "More fucking please." That doesn't sound like you're disappointed, just that you want more.
 
I've tried that, more sex please! He has some reason why he can't: more later, in the morning, that's enough for now, tired, etc.
That's has been the light hearted approach up to now.
I have also been subtly asking for a wee while now. He has said I that expect more than other partners. Question is do how far do I push the questions? or just deal with it? If he can't then he can't and work on being more accepting?
 
I once had a lover who preferred other things to PIV, and I always accommodated him, but at some point had to say, "I like fucking, and want more of it. I like everything else we do, but if there isn't enough fucking, I'm left feeling hungry. I always accommodate your wishes, so I think it's a bit selfish not to accommodate mine more often. Otherwise, I can't help but be disappointed."

After that, he fucked longer and more often. My request played to his ego, I realized, because he hated the idea of being seen as a selfish lover.
 
Ok, I will try the blunt approach next time I see him, might be tonight.

Last night was very fun with OKJjoe. We had some dinner first in the Irish pub and then a short walk to the venue. Very diverse age range crowd. The warm-up band were good but the main act was fab. He usually is kind of countryish, bit bluesy but last night was all funk, he even managed to weave in some Beatles and a little Pink Floyd, definitely not country. I gave Joe a few light kisses and he held my hand or had his arm around me for much of the time. It was really good music and vibe, I danced till my overworked quads gave up. The he walked me back to my car and we smooched in the over-lit and very busy car park for a while. He smells good and is a lovely kisser.
We are meeting today to go kayaking. I will need to do some serious stretching, I upped all my weights at the gym yesterday and worked out hard, everything is tight today.
 
Sunday with OKJoe was really great, we met at the harbor and spent a couple of hours kayaking up and down the estuary. Seeing the birds and marine life from the water was thrilling, everything was so close, the seals were a trip, popping heads out of the water and barking and wow but the smell is intense.
We had some slightly awkward and nervous first time sex after, played on computers and phones, showed pictures and told stories and had a little more sex. Very nice to spend a whole day with someone and the evening up till bed time. Kind of weird too, none of that "have to go" feeling.
 
Trying to catch up a wee bit.
I broached the subject of exclusive dating last night with OKJoe, he said that was his preference, wasn't into dating around. It was my roundabout way of getting to poly thoughts. So I backed off that I went to have a think and talked to mum. She said it is way too soon to be exclusive and Prof and Kip are both nice people so I shouldn't rush into anything just yet. Yeah mum! She said give it a year!!!
I texted OKJOe and said I wasn't ready to do the exclusive thing just yet and he said he agreed, way too soon, and was just speaking in general terms.
Kip, sex, tea, biccies, chat, great, all good there.
Prof. I did the early morning booty call Monday, I woke him up and we had good sex until the alarm rang. He came round later that night and after watching a bit of tv went to bed for a cuddle, I didn't even try to initiate sex. He brought up the subject himself and said he was aware his sex life was really suffering from the effects of stress of Ms. text's illness. She has been very unwell again and is not eating much or taking her meds when he is not around. He feels very responsible for her and worried all the time. He said the morning sex was good because he didn't have time to wake up and start thinking and stressing, he just got lost in the moment.He apologized of it had been affecting me. I said I had noticed the lack of desire and was glad he had explained.
We are going out tonight to see a game and maybe have fun sex but I am not so concerned now. I would actually rather not have sex than have disappointing sex.
 
Wow but did Prof and I have fun last night. Had sex first, went to the game, got back to his about 11, got thoroughly trashed and fucked for hours. Lots of dancing round the living room, eating chocolate truffles, drinking.I think we went to sleep about 3am. He set the alarm for 6:15am, we woke up and fucked till I had to leave.
Lots of talking on the drive up and back. We had to make a stop and he picked up a bag of chocolate truffles. I was driving so he handed them to me one at a time, I took a nibble, contemplated the divine flavours gave it back, he nibbled and I finished it. He said we had been together long enough that I trusted him to return the chocolate after having a bite.:D It was indeed one year this week.
We talked a little about relationships, I am still on Ms Text's hit list, he said whenever they argue my name is the first thing to come up. I told him he wasn't doing a very good job of being a hinge then cause I have never met her, all she knows about me is what he has told her, plus 2 hair clips and a hair elastic.
On the way home we talked about swinging, He has a friend who is exploring an open relationship and wanted to talk to Prof about his. I said I was willing to talk to her too, from the "secondaries" point of view and how not treat people, all sorts to do with what I have read here and in books and around the web. He is going to suggest we swing with her and her partner, I said I was game to meet them. I asked why not as Ms Admin as she is more experienced with swinging and he said he liked doing firsts with me. Sweet :)
He keeps saying that he "really likes me," I laugh, ridiculous. There is this little comedy clip that we watch and joke about, in it one of the character's ask the other, "Could you love me? Do you love me?" He says that to me a lot. I laugh. We are not allowed to be in love. It's in the rules!
 
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I have finished this month's class. Yeah! I think July is not going to be possible to get everything finished. I have been slacking on my paperwork at work and I need to do some serious catching up and hold quite a few meetings. The internship part involves 12 projects plus one more month long class. I will give it a good shot but the reality has set in.

I am going to the city with Joe tonight for a comedy club thingy. Things are going well, lots of texting, we have moved a little into sexting. He is driving, another big yeah! I did offer to drive but he said no! Prof loves having me drive him, I rarely get driven anywhere, so it seems like a lovely treat.

Prof was asking how the dating was going, I said very well, Joe and I are getting out and going to do things. Prof then asked me to go to a concert next weekend, I just checked and it was last weekend. d'oh. It did bring up the topic of getting him to commit to events, which, quite frankly, I have given up trying to do. If it doesn't happen on a Wednesday then I am not trying. There have been far too many, "let me get back to you," responses. His reply to that was, my ex is flaky and he has worked with that. Touche. But he seems all gung ho to go to some more live music events with me, suggested doing a munch (for the millionth time) A touch of the competitive side coming out. There was another activity suggested too, I forget what is was. I am not holding my breath.:p I think he is really struggling with MS Text's illness and the stress. He said he hasn't seen any of his other partners since we had the 3way.
 
Ms Text has been in the hospital for nearly a week. I didn't know. She is "not well at all." Prof actually stayed with me on Monday night, which is very unusual, he slept from 10:30 pm to 8:30 am. He woke up a little when I got my shoes to leave but went back to sleep. This is man who usually sleeps 5 hours or less a night. During the evening I asked him a few times if he was ok, he was almost hyperactive, a little wild eyed and being overly joky and teasing. The word I thought at the time was "brittle" ready to crack. Now I know why.
He came round for a little over an hour yesterday evening as he was going to MS Text's doctor. We had some hard fast sex, and I gave him a massage for nearly an hour. He said that was "his hour" for the week. He will be working and staying in the city until next week and is hoping Ms Text will be released in the next day or so.
It is hard for me to know what is ok to ask. I generally don't ask as I feel it is her very personal business and I know she doesn't like me, so it would follow that she doesn't want me to know her medical issues too. It would helps me to understand where Prof is at mentally if I know how she is doing.
We met briefly on Tuesday for a very late lunch hour. I got him great with an April Fool's trick and he wanted to meet. I was trying to plan a short break trip which he was keen on the idea but wouldn't commit to. Lots of vague, "I will have to see, and I can't plan for 2 weeks away" or " we should stay very close to the area". Knowing Ms Text was in hospital meant I wouldn't have asked in the first place. I will explain this to him, maybe he thought I knew.
I had a fun night with Joe on Saturday, the show was great. We came back to mine and had some ho-hum sex but cuddled and kissed till 2:30am. We have plans for Friday night, and I am looking forward to seeing him. Interesting to see if we can match up sex styles. At least there are no ED issues so far.
I got Kip with my April Fool's joke too. I said I had got a job in Dubai, had 30 days to pack up and leave and would he take the guinea pig? He didn't even bother to reply by IM but picked up the phone and first thing he said was "I'll miss you." I continued to wind him up for 5 minutes before I told him. He said he knew it was April Fool's day but didn't put 2 and 2 together. hahaha. I got him goooood.
 
Things are going fine with Joe.
I stayed at his place last night. He has a memory foam mattress and I was all interested in spending the night on it. Bloody hell, this morning I have pains in back and they were shooting down my legs too when I woke up. Sleeping in a divot doesn't work for me. It feels firm but molds around you, not good for an active sleeper, I felt like I had to heave myself out of the hole to move around. He was wedged in his divot and I in mine, I don't think we touched all night. Plus he snores, dear god does he snore. Has a sleep apnea machine to help with it but didn't use it.
The sex was ok. The after part was lovely though. The touching and caressing. He didn't cum, said it was the condoms, but in a nice way, not complaining or anything. I said that is a non-negotiable.
His son arrives back today after 2 weeks away. Joe invited me down to meet him. I said no, let him get settled first. I would be a bit grumpy to arrive home after a vacation to find someone new sitting on the sofa. Plus I don't think Joe has said he kind of regularly seeing someone. Would all be a bit much for a 12 year old, I think.
I left my skirt at his place. Didn't even realize till he sent me a message.
Haven't heard much from Prof, he is with Ms Text. A few odd texts and a youtube link.
Kip is very quiet online. We did meet Monday and tried for Thursday but I couldn't swing it :(
Joe wants me to go back down there, the son's flight has been delayed. 40 mins each way. hmmm
 
I went back. :D Played around in bed for a couple of hours and I left. Booty Call! And remembered my skirt.
Had a little chat about sex later. He said he likes that I laugh a lot and don't take sex too seriously. I replied, isn't that what it's supposed to be? He said he got married young and his wife had a lot of rules and it was more like obligation sex most of the time. Not much laughing or being silly. He calls me "Silly Girl" a lot. At least we have move off "weird" and "quirky." Ha!

There is nothing like getting to know someone to have your quirks reflected back at you. Quite possibly I am getting old and set in my ways. I like to imagine I am all kinds of flexible and easy going, and in certain respects I am. In others, totally not. I have to, have to, walk on the right side of people. Can't take being on the left. It feels so wrong, really uncomfortable. I can do it for about 30 seconds, give it a try and then move myself around. Luckily I have never met anyone who has a strong preference about it. So it is easy to do. I can see that being "weird" lol.

Joe wants me to meet his son. I said a daytime outdoor activity would be best. Maybe bowling, I can bring my 2 as well. It's moving a little quickly but as he is full-time dad we will need to work something out. But then again, I am in no rush to repeat the memory foam and sleeping on the right hand side of the bed experience. :p
 
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