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Old 08-31-2011, 12:21 AM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 194

Gosh, thanks for all the advice! I really appreciate it, and it's actually been nice to just talk about this to someone. It has to be this big secret to my friends, etc.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
Especially if you're finding your mind drift to all these questions whenever you have a free moment for idle thought.
You got me! I have been thinking about this stuff waaay too much lately! And I'm a freelancer, so... free time is my curse.

I try to operate by being myself as much as possible. It is not easy, but if you are being tortured by what's happening and you say "Hey Sven, am I cut off?" well either you get to find out and can relax, or he'll hedge or be dishonest but you'll figure out that sooner or later. It doesn't sound from the tone of your posts that you are unhappy with these thoughts, just curious about all the damn possibilities.
Yup! This is how I roll too, and I was thinking of writing a similar sentence-long question to him soon. "Yo--can I still write you filthy texts, or is that off the table?" Or something. Just want to know if we're keeping up the status quo while he's gone, and we can worry about changing things when he gets back. Actually, I think Sven has been bad for me in some respects. Crazy blunt questions sometimes spook him and I've learned to go gentle. But it's not my nature.

But that's true that it's scary to say, maybe scary to hear, and I suppose if you would like it to last as long as possible and you think it's going to have to end sooner or later, maybe it's safer not to say it.
Yeah, I guess that's it. If my discussion forces him to choose whether he wants to keep this going or not, he might choose not. Which is why I've never asked. He's the kind of person that doesn't like to think about things or plan them in advance and always likes to "see how it goes" which drives me nuts.

When we were first getting together, it was impossible to actually set a time or date to get together with him. He liked it all to be a happy accident, like his penis just happened to fall into my vagina! Oops!

Both of us would arrange elaborate parties to which we'd invite all of our friends, and I'd have to play "last woman standing" and be the last one to leave, which would always take arranging on my part because I have a husband! Then one thing would have to lead to another, and he'd be all ready to go, then go on and on about how unexpected this was. Sure, buddy. My husband "went home early because he was tired" and had no idea what was happening here. We didn't plan this. NOT.

Exhausting. He's gotten a bit better at letting things be explicit, but honestly, if this is part of his nature, I don't see this lasting long term anyway. I am going to have a child soon. I'm not going to "accidentally" arrange a babysitter in hopes that I may or may not get laid. Ridiculous.

Okay, I had no idea I had this much to write about this. Um, sorry.
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