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  #11  
Old 08-29-2011, 08:53 AM
gafats43 gafats43 is offline
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Default you are being used

I think you are wasting your time with this one, so move on and find someone who really wants your love and attention.
Poly is for people who often have a srong relationship but also like to play,like when they were single.
Having experienced being married and playing away,yes it`s great fun and makes you feel very young again but if it is only you that are having the fun,that is wrong.
If your partner wants to play away then ask him if you can too.Be blunt and watch for the fireworks when you ask to be equal.
Unfortunately it appears to me that some poly people like the control factor and that is not what poly is all about as it should be about being equal , accepting you can both meet and even sleep with whom you like.
Poly is really for very strong and confident minded people who ask no questions about each other and tell no lies.Unfortunately it often shows the chinks in your armour instead ie the relationship is not and never has been right.
So move on while you can !
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  #12  
Old 08-29-2011, 09:39 AM
Lucia Lucia is offline
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Poly is really for very strong and confident minded people who ask no questions about each other and tell no lies.Unfortunately it often shows the chinks in your armour instead ie the relationship is not and never has been right.
So move on while you can ![/QUOTE]

he isnt strong, he admited he is very weak at the morment.
i understand that, cos it is new to him too, i guess.
it may sounds silly to you, but i am kind of waiting for him to be strong, and want to suuport him as much as i can. I dont know if he wants me to.

my friend says a same to you.
he never changes the way his beheavour, just have a cake and eat it.
he just thinks himself, not us.

but again, if he settle to being poly, does beheavour change?
I am struggling either with him or not with him, so I want to more understand poeple are poly.
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  #13  
Old 08-29-2011, 05:11 PM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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I don't really know what to say. Lucia, you and your husband seem very unhappy together to me. Is that right?

I think you're wondering if his behaviour will change if you agree to a polyamorous relationship. I don't know if it will. But his behaviour to your seems disrespectful and mean, and I don't know if adding another woman into your relationship will make him nicer. I'm just guessing, but I don't think it will.
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  #14  
Old 08-29-2011, 09:03 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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If the only time he is in a good mood enough to talk about it is "when he is very drunk," then it sounds to me like he has a problem with alcohol. That could be the bigger problem.

It sounds like you are very reasonable and open-minded, willing to do almost anything to try and save your marriage. It sounds like you are a very special person who deserves love and respect.

Only you can know when you've reached your limit emotionally, but if you are being physically injured, GET OUT NOW.
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  #15  
Old 08-30-2011, 04:09 PM
Lucia Lucia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleZed View Post
I don't really know what to say. Lucia, you and your husband seem very unhappy together to me. Is that right?

yes, thats right. we are not happy, as it should be. I try to be happy, cos no point to be dipress, thats make my hubby unhappy.
but I do get tried to try to be happy. and snaped, which i shouldnt.

I think you're wondering if his behaviour will change if you agree to a polyamorous relationship. I don't know if it will. But his behaviour to your seems disrespectful and mean, and I don't know if adding another woman into your relationship will make him nicer. I'm just guessing, but I don't think it will.
He doesnt know what he wants, why he acts like that way towards me.
I dont know his behaviour will change, either way, agree or disagree to a polyamous relationship.
His mum, and our common friend told me he wont change,,,
but you know, you want to beleive the porson you love deeply.
if he wont, we will divorce.....

thank you for give me your opinion, i really appreciated
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  #16  
Old 08-30-2011, 04:23 PM
Lucia Lucia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carma View Post
If the only time he is in a good mood enough to talk about it is "when he is very drunk," then it sounds to me like he has a problem with alcohol. That could be the bigger problem.

yes, he has problem with alcohol.
we talked about it that no more drink, cos he gets more nasty when he drunk.
in generally he doesnt really talk about it, he can talk about it when he was drunk. so it is luck of commincation problem.

It sounds like you are very reasonable and open-minded, willing to do almost anything to try and save your marriage. It sounds like you are a very special person who deserves love and respect.

thank you say so...
I am not very open-minded yet, cos I dont want to see or talk with his GF at all. Even my hubby think we get on with well.....

Only you can know when you've reached your limit emotionally, but if you are being physically injured, GET OUT NOW.
I was over limit emotional stage yesterday. Made my hubby cry....
I shouldnt be like that.
Do you know the good way to handdle it?
I think i dont handdle emotional very well....
I am not being physically injured, thank you very much for worrys.
and I am very sure if i am being physically abused, I will call police.
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