I'd just like to echo some other people's posts. Yes...please get some professional help, this situation for you is not healthy...it's very dangerous.
At the moment (and also all the time) you need and deserve deep and ongoing care. Find it where you can....
I had some very effective therapy for close to 2 years. I saw someone weekly...and then fortnightly towards the end. Yes, it did change my life...on a very ongoing basis...everything has stayed with me and I'm so much better and happier because of it.
I've got a pyschology degree too....and counselling changed my life.