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  #801  
Old 08-20-2011, 07:35 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Also babe think about how many times she lied to people because she didn't want to face something. Didn't want to admit she was wrong about something. Didn't want to admit she was the cause of someone getting hurt.

I don't think she has a very good grasp on reality and is spouting off whatever she can to convince herself and anyone who will listen that she's not the bad guy.

Look at the histroy of how she talks about people she dated. They are all horrible monsters who did horrible mean things to her. I think in her mind it is easier to believe that, than admit that she played some part in it. Hell J was one of those horrible evil monsters and yet she's now claiming how wonderful he is. Most of the shit she has said about you, she said about J. I think they are her go to exscuses. Just like she wants to blame you for D. You and I both told her he was bad news and the day after she says she not sleeping with anyone, she sleeps with him and tells you over an e-mail. How is any of that your fault?

It's like arguing with your mother. She's so convinced her bulshit is reality nothing is going to change her mind. There's no logic or basis to any of it.

You did what you could. And she got mad that you weren't a mind reader. She got mad that she didn't have any business being in a relationship in the first place (if she was realy as traumatised as she claims).

You need to not worry about what she thinks of you, because I doubt she even believes the bullshit she spouts off. But I do find it interesting that after all the lies she's spread and the drama she's caused, you still care about her and about what she thinks of you. I think that is one more point of proof that you aren't the monster she wants to believe you are.

You're better than that, you deserve better than that and you have better than that.

Let her live in fantasy land the same as you have done with your mom.


I wish I knew how to help you. I wish I had the magic wand that would help you move on and not care what she thinks of you. Because she's not worth that time or energy.

Last edited by Mohegan; 08-20-2011 at 07:56 AM.
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  #802  
Old 08-21-2011, 07:27 AM
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Once again glad I am not dating anyone. Started my online classes tonight. They are going to take up a lot of time. Between working, school and life I'm really hoping Karma and I can keep it together.
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  #803  
Old 08-21-2011, 12:57 PM
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*tosses you your SuperMo cape*

Don't worry babe, we got this.
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  #804  
Old 08-21-2011, 04:27 PM
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You will be fine Mo. It will be difficult, but you will weather the storm and come out stronger because of it.
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  #805  
Old 08-22-2011, 10:40 AM
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School starts tonight! I have all my online classes caught up and am looking forward to tonights class. I love the fact that at 28 I still get excited about getting out the bookbag and getting the new folders and notebooks and pens and highlighters. I was so excited I put Karma's book bag together as well. I hope he can find everything. He was only half paying attention when I pointed it out. Then tuesday he sees Cookie which gives me an entire day to get even more work done and maybe get the house cleaned up.
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  #806  
Old 08-25-2011, 01:56 AM
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Felling pretty blah. Yesturday was a day full of anxiety attacks and then Karma came home and it was a night of fighting and more anxiety attacks.

Still not 'normal'. Stupid shit is still getting to me. This is why I don't like taking my anxiety meds. It pulls out the worst of it, but the next day I feel like I'm in an emotional hangover.

Tired, sick of fighting, sick of not being heard, sick of not being taken seriously.

Had a realiztion last night that I know will piss Karma off and not sure what to do about it.

At least my homework is caught up enough that I can chill for a few days and try to zen out a bit. I don't feel at peace with anything right now.
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  #807  
Old 08-25-2011, 02:42 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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I kept alot of thoughts to myself when I thought that I'd a) piss Runic Wolf off or b) the whole truth would hurt him deeply. After a while, he brought to my attention that he was hurting because I wasn't sharing those thoughts with him. He felt worse knowing that I was afraid to talk to him about something than he did when we actually talked it out. Since I don't know what's on your mind all I can say is trust your judgement, but trust that all the work you two have done over the last couple of years has made you strong enough for him to handle it.

I'm sorry that the earthquake's aftershocks made your anxiety worse. *hugs*
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  #808  
Old 08-25-2011, 07:15 AM
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It was something that could have been taken as low blows, but it was something I was seeing as a repeat behavior that was making a lot of other things make sense. We did talk about it and it was helpful.

Still not really feeling at peace with a lot of things. We had a pretty nasty fight. First time in a long time. Left me wondering how the neighbors felt getting a tast of their own medicine.

And after calming down and chilling out a bit I have managed to upset him all over again. Our agreement was if he started to tell me things I didnt want to hear about their time together I would ask him to stop. So I did. And now there's drama all over again. Sorry but hearing about your sex life with her is a boundry she and I both have. I don't want to cross it.

Gonna go take a shower and see if I can clear my head.
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  #809  
Old 08-25-2011, 08:35 AM
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IT wasn't that you told me to stop, it was the pissed off attitude that you said it in, or perhaps that I misread into it - I'm not sure. You've seemed either upset or angry about everything I've said to you. I have no problem with you telling me to not tell you about something, but I do have a problem when you want to know about my day with her, and then telling you about it makes you angry. It makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells - how do I know if something I'm going to say will upset you or make you mad?
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  #810  
Old 08-25-2011, 08:57 AM
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If your day entailed 13 hrs of experimental sex, I don't want to hear about it.
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