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Old 08-21-2011, 06:47 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Actually Neon khaos, I have experienced the opposite. While I do love children, I have never been surprised when someone decides not to have children. I have many people in my family who made the decision not to have children, and a few who did have children, but chose to adopt instead of bringing more children in the world. So,..i guess I was brought up with children being a choice, not a requirement.

However, I have a whole lot of experience with women who want to date me, but almost try to forbid me to mention my kids, or get annoyed if I giggle over seeing some cute thing going on around me with children. They can`t seem to stand the sight of children, or hearing them. Its like a DADT policy exsists, and they want to pretend I am not a 'mother',..like that aspect they would be ashamed of mentioning to another.

I have learned not to get pissy about this and try to see what motivates. So far the 3 I took the time to question further, seem to equate motherhood with a backwards movement for feminism.

*****

Back to the OT,.. Yes, there are a couple of divides in polyamory. I personally don`t see it as a 'community' nor have I personally cared to do 'poly things'.
Poly, when represented as a 'community' seemed to me, like a parallel universe to monogamy with a white picket fence, and 2.5 children.
Aka, a very tunneled vision, if you don`t do it 'the way'.

Of course it is not always that way, but the front-runners of many groups, have it appearing so. Sometimes a 'purist' mentality exsists. If you want anything other then a big poly family or commune, then what you want is 'less' and not truly 'poly'. If you see it as a 'lifestyle', then you are not 'really' poly. Etc., etc.

It can sound quite similiar to; ' Unless you go to church every Sunday, and spend dinners together, and are legally married,..you are not really a proper family,..'

Like a couple of others have mentioned, I go by lack of label. Sometimes 'Open relationship or non-monogamy' as a umbrella term, and don`t claim to be 'poly' or to 'be' a swinger, etc.

I have learned to stay away from the extremes.

I greet life as it greets me, and let common sense dictate the rest.

Last edited by SourGirl; 08-21-2011 at 06:57 PM. Reason: For clarity.
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community, divisiveness, fitting in, poly community

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