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  #41  
Old 08-16-2011, 11:41 PM
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Bahalana Bahalana is offline
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Originally Posted by MadameSyrinx View Post
Everybody wants a threesome but nobody wants to hear about how my day went, or what I want to do with my vacation.
How was your day?
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Last edited by Bahalana; 08-17-2011 at 08:42 AM.
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  #42  
Old 08-17-2011, 08:32 AM
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Default "Unicorn"

What is the exact definition of "unicorn"?
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  #43  
Old 08-17-2011, 09:01 AM
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What is the exact definition of "unicorn"?
A unicorn in polyamorous circles colloquially refers to a single, bisexual woman, who is interested in forming a polyfidelitous triad with an already established couple of a man and a woman. The choice of the label unicorn should demonstrate the perceived rarity of such individuals and the somewhat belittling and diminutive fashion that people looking for them are often viewed in by the polyamorous community.

If you need any part of this explanation explained I suggest you do a little research instead of asking. You could start by rereading this thread more carefully because all of this could have been fairly well inferred, even though it was not explicitly stated.

If this sounds like it has a tone. Sorry, it's only somewhat unintentional.
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  #44  
Old 08-17-2011, 10:40 AM
Allstar Allstar is offline
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I agree with what everyone is saying. Me being mono, after about a month of dating my current gf she told me she was poly (I already knew she was bi). I am not sure where I will end up, but I am openminded for right now. We have a great relationship started between us. No one says you have to find them both at the same time. Try to find a relationship and see how they feel about the idea, just balance when you feel comfortable to tell them with how far the relationship is. You don't want to be falling down the slope of love and then them freak out and leave all of a sudden on you. I will admit, I didn't talk to her for three days until the shock was over, but I came around.
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  #45  
Old 08-17-2011, 03:27 PM
loving3 loving3 is offline
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Originally Posted by MadameSyrinx View Post
I recently discovered that being a single, bi, poly woman... and a young pretty one at that, can be an utter curse. You would think that the lineups of couples desperate to spice up their love life with a token bi girl.. that it would be at least pleasant. I find it utterly lonely, and a true testament to people's complete selfishness.

I am not a toy, or a hooker. I am not a sex therapist, or the solution to a failing marriage. I am a young woman, who wants a loving woman, and a loving man, in my life. I want to be treasured like the remarkable person I am.

Everybody wants a threesome but nobody wants to hear about how my day went, or what I want to do with my vacation.

Am I doing something wrong?
That is what we are looking for. My husband and I are looking for a fun loving female, that wants to be a equal part of our family. We do not want a 3 sum - one night stand. We want to find a female that would like to live with us and become a complete 3 - Couple! The life of a married couple but of 3! We have tried friends, and it never seems to be more than a one night stand. We are looking for someone that would like to talk about there day over supper or just relaxing snuggling and laugh about our day in bed..
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  #46  
Old 08-17-2011, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loving3 View Post
That is what we are looking for. My husband and I are looking for a fun loving female, that wants to be a equal part of our family. We do not want a 3 sum - one night stand. We want to find a female that would like to live with us and become a complete 3 - Couple! The life of a married couple but of 3! We have tried friends, and it never seems to be more than a one night stand. We are looking for someone that would like to talk about there day over supper or just relaxing snuggling and laugh about our day in bed..
A lot of couples want this. It's a really nice fantasy to have. It rarely happens though because the more people you add the more personalities and emotions you add. Although 3 adults can happily live as a family under one roof it is rare that they will all be equally in love with each other. There may very well be love in all directions but be prepared that you may not all feel romantic love for each other.

Like RP said earlier, walk side by side with each other while you both go on your path to developing other relationships. You are 2 individuals who are part of a relationship, you are not a unit. You both have desires and personalities and preferences. Celebrate your differences. Enjoy the people who come into your life in whichever form they are in your life. Enjoy the people for who they are. Maybe you will wind up in a triad and maybe you won't.

PSA brought to you by a reformed unicorn hunter
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  #47  
Old 08-17-2011, 05:12 PM
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I agree, no relationship has any guarantees - They are all work. We have been friends since we were children, went our different ways and have come back together as a family. We have a good life and a good relationship. We just want to have more, we want to add to our love and family. I have a big family, he does not. I do feel there will be some challenges, but what relationship don't have them. And with every challenge, there is talk and listening to work it through.
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  #48  
Old 08-17-2011, 06:52 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadameSyrinx View Post
Am I doing something wrong?
Nope.

Unicorn hunters are typically folks looking for a sex toy to spice up their marriages or a substitute for the therapy needed to shore up their failing relationship. Unicorn hunting, by and large (though not universally), a sign that the couple really isn't ready for this poly thing.

If you really want to get involved with a couple, I'll suggest wooing each of the two individually. My wife and I don't date as a couple nor arrive as a matched set, so the only way to get involved with both of us would be to pitch woo to us individually. I suspect that doing so with couples who aren't searching for a unicorn will prove more satisfactory.
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While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #49  
Old 08-18-2011, 01:56 AM
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i also agree to look separately. i wonder if it would be easier for f/f couple to find a good man?
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  #50  
Old 08-18-2011, 12:30 PM
CranberryStardust CranberryStardust is offline
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Whoa...I can relate! I just entered into a relationship with a couple for the first time, but I have nagging concerns that I am opening myself up and hoping for something meaningful and real...and they might only ever see me as a fun sexual "add on" to their real life.

I'm tired of being used in general. It's fine if everyone involved is using each other in the same way, but hurts when you're the one wanting more. When I was twenty, being an object was fun and almost flattering...now it makes me feel kind of hollow. Like I'm not real, you know? Literally an object.

I hope you find something healthy and fulfilling and all the love you need. There surely are couples out there who sincerely wish to open more than just their bedrooms to girls like us.
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adding a partner, attitude, expectations, love, one penis policy, opp, polyamory, polyfidelity, triad, truth, unicorn, unicorn definition, unicorn hunters, unicorn hunting, unicorns

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