Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #10  
Old 08-16-2011, 06:28 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,423
Default

First of all, stop dwelling on past mistakes and any misgivings you have about how you conducted yourself. You are human and not perfect. You now have awareness of what was going on with you, so just use it as good information. Stop beating yourself up.

Second, you need to really sit down and talk with Sundance about how uncomfortable you are with his lying to her and painting a bad picture of you. Make sure he knows how important it is to you that you and she meet before their relationship proceeds. This is important! He knows Butch -- why shouldn't you know her?

While it may be true that going to her family event might simply be something rather casual and easy for her, to many people that would be a big deal. He's got to get honest with her. She would feel like total shit introducing him to her family with a certain idea of who he is and what his marriage is like, only to find out later that he lied to her about it.

Keep the lines of communication pen with him and ask him what he wants and needs to repair what's been happening between you!
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
dishonesty, negotiations

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:10 AM.