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  #31  
Old 06-25-2011, 09:48 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Apparently some issues I thought long gone were just in hiding.

Triggers of sorts.

Wish I wasn't working alone
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  #32  
Old 06-25-2011, 11:03 PM
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-hugs-
D'you need someone to talk to?
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  #33  
Old 06-26-2011, 04:03 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cricket View Post
-hugs-
D'you need someone to talk to?
Thank you.

Derby caught me on fb and chatted with me for a bit. Triggers are gone, I was doing better very quickly. Derby's awesome like that
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  #34  
Old 06-28-2011, 03:31 AM
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Glad you're doing better! I know it's hard to navigate around triggers.
-hugs-
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  #35  
Old 07-17-2011, 01:10 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Today was hard. It was my Dad's memorial.

We (my step-mom, my brother, my stepsister & I) went out on a boat at the lake where he loved to fish & camp at. We each scattered a bit of his ashes and said our goodbye's.

It was one of the first time's I'd been able to truely cry over his death.

After... my brother had an emotional breakdown that resulted in him losing consciousness for a bit. An ambulance ride and a couple hours in the hospital and he's doing ok.

I want my Dad back.
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  #36  
Old 08-16-2011, 06:14 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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I eliminated someone from my life yesterday. Not entirely, just a part of the relationship that was damaging to myself, and my sense of self.

Nothing changed, except I said "no, I'm done" but last night and today I'm feeling an "unbearable lightness of being"

I am dancing at the top of the world and there is nothing I can't do.

Fuck it feels good
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  #37  
Old 08-16-2011, 06:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
I eliminated someone from my life yesterday. Not entirely, just a part of the relationship that was damaging to myself, and my sense of self.

Nothing changed, except I said "no, I'm done" but last night and today I'm feeling an "unbearable lightness of being"

I am dancing at the top of the world and there is nothing I can't do.

Fuck it feels good
Must be something in the air...i'm kind of in the same place at the moment.
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  #38  
Old 08-16-2011, 10:37 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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I didn't realize how much it was weighing me down. It was awful. Everytime I got a text from this person, I wanted to vomit. W could see the change in me the moment it happened.

And now its gone

On the poly front, I'm exploring WHY I'm hesitant to put myself really out there and actively looking. We're always open to possibilities, but as soon as someone starts to get close or makes any sort of "hey I'm interested in you" noises... I find myself suddenly busy with something else... not sure if it was because some of those were completely sexual, or what, but I'm looking at it.

Or maybe I'm just friggen scared because of how much pain was involved in the last poly experience and right now we're so freaking happy...
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  #39  
Old 08-18-2011, 01:21 AM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
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I understand the feeling of being afraid to try again. I never thought I would, and a delightful surprise came along.....LOL it's very new and but tough stuff happening on both ends so it isn't ridden with NRE.
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  #40  
Old 08-23-2011, 09:59 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Its funny how when one is content, the need to run around posting (for me at least) disappears.

"I'm CONTENT!!! I'm CONTENT!!! ZOMG I'm sooooo CONTENT!!!"

Dramatic posts don't quite fit with "I'm content"

Had a fantastic 12th anniversary date with Wellington on Sunday. We went out for dinner, walked around Whistler Village for a bit, saw an awesome juggler, then caught Barenaked Ladies in concert... man they're good.

Ended the night in our hottub.

ZOMG I'm so content... *teehee*

I used to always be afraid of the 13th year - he left his ex (c/l) after they'd been together 13 years...

We've been together 13.5 years, married for 12, and today... we're content
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My Journey to Health and Fitness
My Journey as a Widow

Jane
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