Mono, you have to know what an inspiration you and your love for Redpepper are. The mindset for monogamy and polyamory are so very different in many ways. The fact that you love her enough to live so outside your comfort zone is awesome. I admire you.
Now, I just have one question for you and I do get that these are your thoughts and how you feel and have nothing to do with how she feels. You said you feel that sex is the highest form of communication and the gift she gives you for your depth of love for her...then how do you view the depth of love she has for you? What is that?
I am by no means giving you flack. I just am trying to understand better. And will be willing to expand on my thoughts that led to this question if you would like.