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Old 08-13-2011, 08:57 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478
Default Turnabout

I'm married and I have a boyfriend (Butch Cassidy) of 10 months. I've been encouraging Sundance (my husband) to find a girlfriend, too. He wasn't really thrilled about that - he only wanted me. He said he is mono, really. But I thought a girlfriend would help heal his wounded ego, and make him feel like the hottie he truly is. I wanted another girl on my team, so to speak. Someone to help stroke him and make him feel special. Poly has been tough on him, although he does care for Butch very much and he understands my love for him. Sometimes I'm a real bitch. Sometimes I neglect the hell out of him. Sundance deserves better. I felt another girl and a little NRE would take the pressure off of me, make him happier, and maybe even she and I could become nice friends too.

He finally struck up a dalliance with someone. I've been excited about it, happy for him. She fawns all over him and pumps him up, tells him how wonderful he is, etc. But he was kinda lukewarm to the situation, saying he really doesn't feel right, he feels terribly guilty, and while he likes all the attention and the flirting, he just wants to be with me, and the kids. He said it would just remain flirting, that he had no interest in taking it further. But still I encouraged him to carry on. And clearly, she DID want it to go further. And then of course, he kinda did too. And it did.

And I freaked out.

I don't want to share!!!!! He doesn't want to do this, either!!!! Oh mean, this is hard. My ego is huge! I never knew! I never knew how much I loved him, I mean, ugh. I feel like throwing up. He feels terrible.

I can't give Butch up -- I love him, he needs me, he needs Sundance too, we are his best friends and he is hurting right now -- some physical (i.e. LIFE THREATENING health issues) as well as emotional devastation going on for him. But, what I do feel is.... I have GOT to put myself back into my marriage. I love Sundance so much. I can't believe I've let this happen. He has been the most dedicated husband anyone could imagine. He has barely even looked at another girl in nearly 13 years. I am so lucky to have his love.

We made love this morning and it was more passionate than it's been in a loooong time. SLOW. And lots of deep kissing. Lovely! He is working all day today, but when he gets home he's going to be so surprised! I sent all the kids to grandma's, I'm making a perfect dinner, I'm going to have candles lit and sexy music playing and me wearing a slinky something when he walks in that door!

I sent him out there hungry and hurting. I am going to vow not to do that again. I love that man!
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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