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Old 07-27-2011, 02:58 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Hmm... wow, being present is a great one too! I tend toward anxiety and worry-- and the possibilities of bad outcomes. I won't say that some of that isn't somewhat useful as I TEND to be able to see things that might be bad ideas before my hubs does... but, the truth is the future is not written and focusing on the bad stuff that *could* happen can often be wasted negative energy.

I have been working hard on integrating these two things. I will tell my husband my concerns, especially when I see things that I'm fairly sure will not end well, but then I have to let it go and take each day as it comes and it will work itself out however it is going to. I'm finding that if I can express my concerns (calmly and succinctly and not in a stressed state), and feel like they have been HEARD, even if nothing changes because of them, I am more likely to be able to then let it go. It's kind of a "I've done all I can do" feeling. Anything after that is really not up to me.

On the other hand if I try to push those concerns down and ignore them, my anxiety levels skyrocket and those concerns will come out, usually when I'm trying to sleep. My subconscious "will not be ignored!!" to quote a very scary movie involving stewed rabbits.
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Old 07-29-2011, 06:43 AM
Satisfiction's Avatar
Satisfiction Satisfiction is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 28

Happy to share meditation with you - it's slightly modified version of one given "Integral Life Practice" (written by ken wilber, terry patten and two others)

Notice the sounds around you, and notice your bodily sensations.
Notice you are not identical to the sounds around you, and your bodily sensations.
These sounds and sensations are experiences that arise in the consciousness of who you truly are.
You are deeper than this.

Notice your thoughts, motivations, desires, feelings and memories.
Notice that you are not identical to your thoughts, motivations, desires, feelings and memories.
All of these are experiences that arise in the consciousness of who you truly are.
You are deeper than this.

You have always been here.
You have never been absent.
So notice You.
Be You.
And bring You into the present.

When I find myself getting lost in my head, and I remember, I repeat this over in my head to bring "myself" back into the present moment. It's becoming very useful!
Don't fight against the existing model, create a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
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Old 08-07-2011, 04:59 PM
polynerdist polynerdist is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 13

Thank you so much for the meditation Satisfiction, I love it!
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Old 08-11-2011, 03:44 AM
polycouple polycouple is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: CT/RI area
Posts: 55

@ Satisfaction:

The work of Ken Wilbur has been so influential in my life when it comes to my outlook on life! I don't typically meet people who know his work, so I think it is neat that you are into his work!

As for a response to Mono:

How I manage my emotions really depends on the day. I guess I have a bit of a tool kit. One tool I could never do without is the ability to step away from a situation when I am highly emotional. At that point I turn to my mom or my best friend and just vent. I know they are two people who I can say anything and they will not judge me, but they will always offer candid advise. I trust there intuition about many situations, so I usually take their advise, but they also respect me enough to know that in the end I will make the choice that I think is right.

I don't struggle too much with my own emotions usually, but one problem I consistently encounter is challenges around managing others emotions. I am an extremely empathetic person. It is both a gift and a curse. In poly it can cause me to really put myself in unfair situations because I can manage my emotions to deal with unfairness if it makes my lover/s happy, but I then eventually become fed up with the sacrifices, and end up feeling taken advantage of, and uncared for.

I'm dealing with that right now in the seven month triad I am in. I started dating an established couple who were experienced swingers, yet totally inexperienced with poly. We fell in love, and got close really fast. Now seven months later, after seeing them almost every day, she is still not comfortable with him and I doing anything fun while she is at work including anything sexual. It's immensely frustrating, and even more so it's hurtful that she is so willing to deprive us. We've just started dealing with the issue, and she finally agreed to commit to working towards a more fair relationship including intimacy when she is not there. I have never dealt with something so emotionally challenges. Love someone so much, yet feeling so stifled and restricted by them at the same time...ok, sorry about the rant....but I guess it's all related to emotions.
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