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Old 08-07-2011, 09:38 AM
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JaneDoe41 JaneDoe41 is offline
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I became involved with Randy eleven months ago as I was in midst of exodus from my second failed marriage. Randy has a full-time permanent primary partner in Vivian. I am not his first "second" but he is my first polyamorous partner. The relationship is not closed for any of us, but at this time there are no other partners involved. Whether it be the phenomenon of NRE, or just good chemistry, I am happier in this situation than I have been in my two previous monogamous marriages. This man is good to me and kind to me and makes me feel very special when we are together. We see each other one-on-one regularly about twice a week, and Randy, Viv, and I have a "date night" together about once a month, which really helps with keeping communication open. This is a relationship that I'd like to remain ongoing.

I have a 10-year-old son, whom I consider my "primary" relationship. He is aware of Randy, and has met him twice, but I feel very strongly that I want my love life, whether mono or poly, kept separate from him. Lately, he has been really pressuring me to allow him to spend time with Randy. He says he wants to "get to know him". Randy and I agree that children need stability and that he is not the one to provide stability for my child. I have explained to my son that Randy is my "adult friend" and that I need "adult friends" just like he needs "kid friends", but that mommy is not going to be getting married again and no one is moving in together, so he doesn't need to worry about such things right now.

People who know me know that I am seeing someone, but with few exceptions, no one that I am close to knows the poly nature of my relationship. I guess the reason I am writing is to get feedback from others who might be similarly involved to see if I am on the right track. I am content with a quiet satisfaction that I gain from this relationship. I feel no need to shout to the rooftops that I am in love. But I also foresee Randy (and Vivian) being part of my life for quite some time to come and I'm wondering how I introduce and explain this to other people in my life, including my child.

Advice and suggestions welcomed...
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