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  #11  
Old 08-05-2011, 10:05 PM
WrongWay WrongWay is offline
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The relationship would end because the girlfriend wants me for herself, but also I am just tired, tired of all the stress this is causing for everyone involved.
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  #12  
Old 08-05-2011, 10:43 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Oh, and prepare for her to be pissed-off that you fucked her, knowing you were going to leave her.
I've always thought the best way to end a relationship is one last lovemaking session to honor what people had. It can be such a beautiful thing to say goodbye like that. I am sure if they were talking about ending it and crying before hitting the sack, she wouldn't think he was just trying to fuck her or pretend it wasn't over. She might have pretended in the morning, but...

WW, next time you talk to her, I guess to break it off, you can tell her that you want her to recall the beauty and love of that last time.

So, you don't think that either your wife or gf would want to be in a polyamorous situation with you? I mean, this is a poly board and you have not mentioned whether you wanted poly or not, only that you had originally cheated.
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  #13  
Old 08-06-2011, 01:51 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I've always thought the best way to end a relationship is one last lovemaking session to honor what people had. It can be such a beautiful thing to say goodbye like that. I am sure if they were talking about ending it and crying before hitting the sack, she wouldn't think he was just trying to fuck her or pretend it wasn't over. She might have pretended in the morning, but...

WW, next time you talk to her, I guess to break it off, you can tell her that you want her to recall the beauty and love of that last time.

.
Sure, that is possible. It depends on the people and how things play out. Sometimes people surprise us in a good way, sometimes not. You just don`t know until it happens.
Sometimes we think we know people, but you dont really know what you are dealing with, until the proverbial shit hits the fan.

So,..in the 'be careful' spirit, I wouldnt be surprised if she looked back on the last few sexual encounters and doubted his intentions. She has previously made him aware, how devestated she would be, if he left her.

and for the record,..I truly like to be wrong on such matters.
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  #14  
Old 08-08-2011, 04:37 PM
WrongWay WrongWay is offline
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My wife is open to exploring poly, though she herself does not want involvement with anyone on a sexual level other then me. My GF was originally into the idea of exploring poly, she was with her SS partner at the time we first got together so, not wanting to end her existing relationship, poly looked like a good option for her.

My wife is still open to try it but since my GF split with her SO, she now wants us to be mono. I just can't see that working for me, I think I am wired poly, and I have a wife who is understanding enough to let me be, unfortunately the 3rd party I chose to be poly with want's me to be mono with her. So I know I need to go back to my wife and if the opportunity to try poly arises again I need to address it the "Right Way".

It's not even about sex for me, I just want to be able to love and care for and provide for all the people in my life that I love. Unfortunately right
now my GF's possessiveness won't permit me to do that. I understand her values are her values, I won't ask her to change them for my sake.
But I know it's going to hurt us both terribly when I finally end things, which is going to be soon, as I can't take the stress much more.
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  #15  
Old 08-08-2011, 07:32 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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I'm still interested how and why you moved out of the house you shared with your wife and kids? How long were you dating this other women? How often do you now see your wife and kids? Do you go on dates and such with your wife. What do the kids think of this?
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  #16  
Old 08-08-2011, 08:36 PM
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nicothoe nicothoe is offline
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It surprises me that you decided to move out when you could have stayed with your wife and family, and try to maintain the relationship with the girlfriend. Especially if the wife was willing to give polyamory a shot.

One of the biggest fears of any polyamorous couple is that your SO will meet someone new, fall in love, and then end your relationship so they can live with the new lover. It's as if polyamory is merely a guise used to replace one lover with another.

How do you plan to convince your wife that any new relationship you explore is not going to jeopardize the one you already have?
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