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  #41  
Old 08-05-2011, 05:51 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by jrrmjr820 View Post
. . . I find myself being attracted to a most inappropriate person that will remain in the unrealized affection file. For one, he's a little young although I don't know for sure my guess is he's 25 or 26 and that is far too young for him to get involved with me when I have no desire to give him any children of his own.
That's an odd reason. If he's accepting of poly, he can have kids with someone else! What even makes you think he would want children, or even that serious of a relationship right away? I highly doubt a young guy is thinking along those lines!

You don't need to worry about things like that just to start out dating someone to see if there's compatibility or connection.

Plus, I don't think it would be inappropriate. People date their kids' teachers all the time. They're human, too! LOL
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Last edited by nycindie; 04-30-2014 at 10:22 PM.
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  #42  
Old 08-05-2011, 05:57 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Well, I have no idea if he's open to poly or not. He hasn't given me any indication that he is remotely interested in me. I wouldn't know how to go about asking that question especially since he is my daughter's teacher. He probably just sees me as another parent to one of his students.

That doesn't mean that I can't find him attractive but I don't think that it's fair to assume that he would welcome being asked out by a married woman without feeling awkward and thinking that I am a cheater. I also haven idea if he would want children but again I don't think it's fair to assume that he wouldn't. I am a worrier if you couldn't tell that, lol.
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  #43  
Old 08-05-2011, 05:57 PM
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Heh, I am just out of a relationship of 2 yrs duration with a man 36 years my junior. Yes, he has moved on, perhaps to a younger woman. But it was mutually satisfying for 2 years.

My gf is 22 years my junior and we have full intimacy and soul connnection. Making the age gap leap is one thing many poly/kinky people do. Even the gender leap of course. It's more about the person, and their compatibility... that can happen with age mates or with people much older or younger than oneself. IME, anyway.
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  #44  
Old 08-05-2011, 05:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrrmjr820 View Post
Well, I have no idea if he's open to poly or not. He hasn't given me any indication that he is remotely interested in me. I wouldn't know how to go about asking that question especially since he is my daughter's teacher. He probably just sees me as another parent to one of his students.

That doesn't mean that I can't find him attractive but I don't think that it's fair to assume that he would welcome being asked out by a married woman without feeling awkward and thinking that I am a cheater. I also haven idea if he would want children but again I don't think it's fair to assume that he wouldn't. I am a worrier if you couldn't tell that, lol.
Hey, you can always just flirt in a classy way and see where it leads... you dont have to propose marriage (or primary status, or children) on the first meeting.

Even if the flirting doesn't lead anywhere, it's fun for its own sake, and good practice.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

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miss pixi, 37
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  #45  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:00 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Oh, he wouldn't be that many years younger than me. I will only be 30 this year. I am not saying that it couldn't work out but that I am afraid to try as if he is interested and finds that he does want children later it would end and I would be hurt or hurt him and I try ot to do that if I can prevent it by not starting anything in the first place.
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  #46  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:03 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Hey, you can always just flirt in a classy way and see where it leads... you dont have to propose marriage (or primary status, or children) on the first meeting.

Even if the flirting doesn't lead anywhere, it's fun for its own sake, and good practice.
I have flirted and he has flirted back but idk that it means anything. I am not saying that I would propose marriage or prmary status or children on a first date, lol, I just tend to think too far ahead. It is a flaw that I haven't been able to correct.
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  #47  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:06 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Also, B really likes him and I worry that if he is up for it and it doesn't work out for whatever reason that she would be hurt as well. I have to think of her and Q above myself right now as they are only 5 and 3.
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  #48  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:11 PM
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Oh well, you can lock yourself up inside your house and never go out again if you want to avoid getting hurt in this world.
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  #49  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:13 PM
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Yeah, my dad does that and even inside alone, he's hurting anyway.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #50  
Old 08-05-2011, 06:22 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Oh well, you can lock yourself up inside your house and never go out again if you want to avoid getting hurt in this world.
Lol, I didn't think that my choosing not to pursue a relationship with someone because I can see the pitfalls would be so contentious. I appreciate everyone's feedback. I am actually more concerned with hurting him and my children than myself. I am sure that at some point, I will find someone who is at the same point in their lives that will be just right to bring into out family.

I know that there are always risks involved with life and I am willing to take them when it's worth it but not when the odds are stacks against it working before it begins. I have actually decided to write him a letter and give it to him at the end of her last class explaining things and giving him my contact info should he choose to pursue getting to know me better that is great but if not, I won't have to see him again and have it be awkward for us.
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