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  #101  
Old 08-05-2011, 08:19 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Originally Posted by Hannahfluke View Post
So they have developed a test that doesn't require an outbreak.
I know about the antibody test , but up here it is not available through general health care. I don't know about the private clinics. It seems the gov has pretty much given up on herpes and HPV, focusing instead on gonorrhea and chlamydia which can cause infertility and thus are vital in the fight to promote national interests and high natality .

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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
I am one of those lucky people that contracted HSV 1 from oral sex. *sigh*
Yep, Vanilla managed to score that too. Her partner's comments? "Well I did wonder why my tongue felt sore, but didn't think much of it".

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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Thanks, will try to dive into that with some depth later. But it seems that there is too little definite information on how HPV contracts that it's pretty hard to protect against .
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  #102  
Old 08-05-2011, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Yep, Vanilla managed to score that too. Her partner's comments? "Well I did wonder why my tongue felt sore, but didn't think much of it".
Ugh. That sounds familiar. I noticed a sore starting the next morning on this guy's mouth, and I asked if it was a cold sore. He said yes, and I asked why the hell he went down on me! His response? "Oh, it's fine."

Um, no. It wasn't then, before I knew I'd contracted it, and it sure wasn't after!

I've only had the initial outbreak and one since in three and a half years. It's not been that bad. I always say I'd rather have an outbreak than have to tell a new partner about my status. I hate the stigma. If it was on my face, no one would care!

Anyway. Enough hijacking your blog.
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  #103  
Old 08-05-2011, 07:32 PM
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nicothoe nicothoe is offline
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There is a lot of stigma attached to HSV-2, the common cause of genital herpes, especially when you take into account that:

Herpes Virus 1= Coldsores
Herpes Virus 3= Chickenpox/Shingles
Herpes Virus 4= Infectious mononucleosis/mono/glandular fever
Herpes Virus 5= Infectious mononucleosis-like syndrome
Herpes Virus 6= Roseola
Herpes Virus 7= Roseola
Herpes Virus 8= Kaposi's sarcoma

Most of us have come into contact with several of the viruses. These viruses are all latent, meaning once infected, you are infected for life. They like hang-out in nerve and white blood cells, causing recurring infections.
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  #104  
Old 08-06-2011, 12:09 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
I know about the antibody test , but up here it is not available through general health care. I don't know about the private clinics. It seems the gov has pretty much given up on herpes and HPV, focusing instead on gonorrhea and chlamydia which can cause infertility and thus are vital in the fight to promote national interests and high natality .



Yep, Vanilla managed to score that too. Her partner's comments? "Well I did wonder why my tongue felt sore, but didn't think much of it".



Thanks, will try to dive into that with some depth later. But it seems that there is too little definite information on how HPV contracts that it's pretty hard to protect against .
You can get a shot of Guardasil here in the states that protects against HPV. It is now mandatory (at least in NY) for all girls at the onset of puberty and recommended for boys (who can carry and transmit it to girls). Much like the menengitis vaccine is now required for college entrance.
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  #105  
Old 08-06-2011, 12:11 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post
You can get a shot of Guardasil here in the states that protects against HPV. It is now mandatory (at least in NY) for all girls at the onset of puberty and recommended for boys (who can carry and transmit it to girls). Much like the menengitis vaccine is now required for college entrance.
It doesn't protect against all strains of HPV, just the ones most likely to cause cervical cancer.
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  #106  
Old 08-08-2011, 10:03 AM
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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
Anyway. Enough hijacking your blog.
Hijacks are always welcome!

Spent the weekend visiting Vanilla's friends in the Southwest. Had a great time, her friends are really cool. I am actually pretty relieved I liked them so much. Even my blend of humor seemed to go down pretty well .

Attended Slutwalk! There were about 1 000 people marching. I wore fishnets and a T-shirt that didn't really cover much anything below the waist. I would have liked to walk with a sign but was late to come up with anything good. It's hard to describe how exhilarating it felt to be walking with so many people with a single purpose, with so many people watching and taking photos and trying to spell out the signs and figure what's going on. I totally get how people can be swept up with mass movements, even totalitarian ones.

Later in the evening I attended my first ever fetish party. Surprised to say but there was nothing really gruesome or disturbing going on. Even more surprised that I was not bothered in the least by Vanilla going in her friend's leash. I was pretty tired and didn't know too many people there, so it would have occasionally been cool to be able to talk to her, but I did get a hugsy at one point when I was left alone with Vanilla. It wasn't mind-numbingly cool and the music was too loud and mixed for my taste, but Vanilla wanted me to be there and I was happy she had a good time.

I was initially reluctant to go because I didn't want to kill her mojo with her friend at the other end of the leash. They see each other only a few times a year and I didn't want them having to worry about the newbie gf being dragged along. I guess I could have been more social but as said, it was late. I told Vanilla before we went down south that we need to agree on a non-obvious sign so I could excuse myself in the case they wanted to get it on without me . She said she trusted my social tact in figuring it out, should the situation arise. It didn't, but now I'm presented with a whole new poly problem; they are nice, and I'd love to hang out with them, but what if they want alone-time with Vanilla? I can't well just tag along to every trip Southwest. Maybe I stay behind and she can go alone, and if they want to visit us up here in our new apartment, we can hang all four of us .

I am once again so relieved and happy that we don't have a whole lot of rules with Vanilla as to who we can be and do what with. Other people's rules like no stay-overs, sex-only allowed outside of the primary relationship, sex only if the primary partner is present too, no new partners of specific gender etc. freak me out some. It feels too much like people trying to safeguard themselves against heartbreak.
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  #107  
Old 08-12-2011, 12:41 PM
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Just wanted to rant about how awesome my girlfriend is.

So occasionally I get these identity anxiety freak-outs. I know, I know, how self-absorbed can you get, right ? They are most acute whenever I visit dating sites, really. There's always this one little box to check which fills me with dread and creates inner turmoil and mayhem: sexual orientation (I know of one site where you have the options "I don't know/something else" and "queer", but OKC doesn't support such orientation anarchy). I know my troubles are minor compared to people who have to regularly choose male/female boxes, but that one politically charged little question always sends me into a downward spiral of pointless introspection.

It's not that I don't want to be bisexual - I really do. And having a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time should imho guarantee me a lifetime card-carrying membership in the Bisexual Club. The trouble is that I don't feel bisexual. I feel gay. I 'm no longer sexually attracted to men. I don't desire romantic relationships with men. I love individual men as individuals, not as members of their gender, whereas I really do love women . My stomach doesn't do somersaults when I'm planning a date with a guy. I'm seriously considering whether to cancel my date tomorrow, because I just don't feel any sizzle or sparkle there. What's the point?

I'm angsting over this to Vanilla, and here's what she said;

"Sweetheart, stop defining yourself. You don't have to be just a dyke or just bi. You just like whom you like. I think sexuality is nothing fixed but rather changes throughout your life. If there's a time when you like being a red-head, nothing should stop you from wanting to go blonde some other time. Definitions are not that serious.

Think about it; what if one day you meet this perfect guy but can't be with him because you've decided on dykehood? That if anything would be sad. Or what if someday you'll end up mono and straight?

Take it easy with your identity anxiety and be what you are, without limiting yourself and angsting over which box you fit in. Why should you box yourself in just now?"

<3 her.
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  #108  
Old 08-12-2011, 01:49 PM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Vanilla has a really good point there. I think I'm going to the same direction as you with my sexual orientation. Right now I would say I'm a Kinsey 4, so in general more attracted to women than men. A few years ago I would've said I'm a 1. I feel like this is changing all the time, not going back and forth though, but going towards total gayness. Now that I know it can change this much, I guess I should know it can go the other way too. One day I might feel totally straight again, who knows. I don't really believe that though. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this thought process. We should just let go of the definitions! Although defining yourself as bisexual might be quite convinient, because it's such a broad term and can mean many things. You still don't have to date guys right now if that's not what you want.
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  #109  
Old 08-12-2011, 02:49 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Go Vanilla
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  #110  
Old 08-17-2011, 10:40 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Go Vanilla
Indeed.

Woa, so much's been happening lately that I need to make an inventory of all that I need to write about. Nothing major, just some personal revelations/anxieties finally sorted out.

1) Third date with TNG (the New Girl)
2) Why I never talk about myself much
3) Why Moonlightrunner is awesome

1) I've reached a new personal record in my interpersonal life. I've gone on a third date with someone I like and who appareantly likes me back and we plan to meet for a fourth time and there's been NO SEX SO FAR. Jeez. I put on some pretty underwear and all just in case, because I just didn't know.

She admitted that the herpes thing was a bit of a scare for her. Also, she's so far had one experience with another woman which wasn't hugely successful, and feels she needs to be very much infatuated with someone for sex to do anything at all for her. This weekend she is going to have a date with a girl who turned out to be poly after all, and I told her not to stress about us, to see if she hits off with this other girl and in the meanwhile, we agreed to look into possibilities of FtF STD protection. I was happy though that she said she would like to keep on seeing me as a friend in any case, and also with a delightfully easy schedule of once in every two weeks.

I have not heard of dental dams being sold over here, although I guess I need to check out the sex shops still. The options that have been brought up so far:

a) Take a regular male condom, cut off the head and along the side. Use as a dental dam, with gloves. I've tried this once and the rubber just exploded, so I remain sceptical.
b) Cling film (I needed to GoogleTranslate that word, so I hope you get it). Sounds more like an urban legend to me, plus I suspect the taste is less than optimal. Inpractical to use with lube AND makes a weird nose and sticks everywhere (hence the name). Definitely not my first choice.
3) Femdoms. My personal favourite. Hard to insert, but wouldn't require extra gloves. Also the whole arts-and-crafts element is removed. First lube, then the femdom, and more lube. Easy enough. Also readily available at pharmacist.

Suggestions?
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