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  #11  
Old 08-03-2011, 11:48 PM
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Originally Posted by jrcx3 View Post
I wouldn't thing twice about him having unprotected sex with them or even telling them he loves them, because I love them so much.
This is the strangest sentence I have read here in a long time.
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  #12  
Old 08-04-2011, 12:12 AM
jrcx3 jrcx3 is offline
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Fair enough...though you could have stated as such before hand. I know that i can over think, and i have had my panic moments, my doubts, and down right fear. But, I will never know what joys and sorrows will come of this if i dont give it a try. I cannot live my life in fear of what ifs? and I would rather embark on this journey in a positive and excited state than a fearful and negative one.
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  #13  
Old 08-04-2011, 12:21 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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you were probably triggered because i said "get your head out of your ass". When I say that, it's like saying "Yo dude what's up?" Friendly. Like, I don't want to see you with your head up your ass. If you say it to yourself enough times, you'll become desensitized.

There are plenty of other people here who will fart sunshine and puke rainbows for you, so don't let me get to you.
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  #14  
Old 08-04-2011, 12:30 AM
jrcx3 jrcx3 is offline
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
you were probably triggered because i said "get your head out of your ass". When I say that, it's like saying "Yo dude what's up?" Friendly. Like, I don't want to see you with your head up your ass. If you say it to yourself enough times, you'll become desensitized.

lol I doubt my head could fit..

There are plenty of other people here who will fart sunshine and puke rainbows for you, so don't let me get to you.
no problem, i am not totally offended just a less wind in my sails.
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  #15  
Old 08-04-2011, 12:34 AM
jrcx3 jrcx3 is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This is the strangest sentence I have read here in a long time.
I guess it strange, its an unexplained thought i think...
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  #16  
Old 08-04-2011, 01:27 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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I hope you didn't think I meant anything bad. I've never been in a triad, and I don't really know anybody currently who is in anything than a V or other larger letter. I guess I just see anything as being the start of a relationship until the litmus test of meeting and going on a couple of dates happen. I know chemistry can be there online and not in person. It also sounds like (or you didn't say otherwise) you haven't met and tried seeing anybody else yet for a potential triad, so I think your feeling that this is perfect was a bit dangerous. Get three flawed humans in a room and I don't think anybody can really consider any relationship going on in between any of them perfect
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  #17  
Old 08-04-2011, 07:03 AM
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I see a bit of a red flag with the unprotected sex bit. It's kinda premature it seems and a bit rash... well, a lot rash to me. Bareback sex is more safe with a poly fi situation where everyone has been tested several times over the course of a year and has been seen to be trusted to keep their word.

Just saying.

It kinda scares me that you would think of allowing these women access to someone who is fluid bonded with you when you seemingly have NO IDEA where they have been, who they have done and what they have.... I know they are your friends, but even so.... do you really know?

Ya, I think if I were you I would be waiting on the bareback
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  #18  
Old 08-04-2011, 09:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrcx3 View Post
I wouldn't thing twice about him having unprotected sex with them or even telling them he loves them, because I love them so much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This is the strangest sentence I have read here in a long time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrcx3 View Post
I guess it strange, its an unexplained thought i think...
Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I see a bit of a red flag with the unprotected sex bit. It's kinda premature it seems and a bit rash... well, a lot rash to me. Bareback sex is more safe with a poly fi situation where everyone has been tested several times over the course of a year and has been seen to be trusted to keep their word. . . . It kinda scares me that you would think of allowing these women access to someone who is fluid bonded with you when you seemingly have NO IDEA where they have been, who they have done and what they have....
Yeah, that's why I commented on it. JRCX3, you didn't seem to understand why I pointed it out. It sounded like you think loving them very much is enough for you to allow sex without condoms. It's not. That's rather a foolish stance, so I hope you just meant that as a way to emphasize how you're feeling, but that you wouldn't actually allow it without testing regularly and building up to that place of complete trust and commitment, and so forth.

The part about not thinking twice is what caught me. You must think twice, three times, and four times or more if you want to be polyamorous! Also, your comment about being okay with him "even telling them he loves them" is a bit weird because that's what poly is about. I don't think anyone should embrace it without being okay with their partner loving others.

I guess we are taking the wind out of your sails, but that's a good thing, and hopefully something you'll forgive us for. Better to have your feet firmly on the ground if you are really going to live polyamorously.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 08-04-2011 at 10:32 PM.
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  #19  
Old 08-04-2011, 10:30 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I guess we are taking the wind out of your sails, but that's a good thing, and hopefully something you'll forgive us for. Better to have your feet firmly on the ground if you are really going to live polyamorously.
Well I'm glad it isn't just me who realizes this. people seem to think that being aware of or pointing out potential hazards is some sort of emotional terrorism.
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  #20  
Old 08-06-2011, 10:04 AM
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Satisfiction Satisfiction is offline
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I can understand why your excited, especially it all being new and the certain freedom that comes from poly. But I would not ignore the "cynics" in the room because there is a lot of experience in this forum and they speak from a place of wisdom. I'm new here and I can definitely see that.

Polyamory is something you jump into with your eyes wide open, triple thinking everything through before you agree to it. You need to go by more than good vibes, love and "let's try it". You need to extract your emotions and be able to use your head too.
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