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  #201  
Old 08-04-2011, 07:35 AM
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My guess is that you are left with residual psychic sludge that was just "in the air" there. There were probably a lot of people there who didn't feel like they fit in, and didn't want to get undressed, but who did it anyway because they thought that they would then feel like they fit in. Likely lots of uncomfortable folks comparing themselves, hoping to be seen as "open-minded," and seeking approval. When people who flaunt that kind of stuff create an energy that leaves others around them feeling icky about themselves or the situation, it usually means that those people are more insecure and unsure of themselves than everyone else. I get the sense that before you were kind of immersed in that environment, you were perfectly fine with yourself. Shake it off, it isn't your stuff! If you're into smudging or some other way to get rid of toxic energy, I bet you'd feel a lot better. How about treating yourself to a nice herbal face mask, foot scrub, or bubble bath!
bingo. Derby, I would be okay if NYCindie were my metamour
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  #202  
Old 08-04-2011, 07:43 AM
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I was only there for a workshop and no longer. It wasn't my scene. Its made me worry about the camp we are going to at the end of the summer now. To me polycamp is about meeting new people, learning their stories and feeling that loving bond of community. I noticed this happening, but there was an over lying feeling of sex, nudity, and trying to fit in with the in crowd along with that. Meh, good for some I guess. It made it hard to do a workshop successfully as it was right in your face. HA! Ya..... not what I expected. I thought there was a section for that. Learning curve on this one maybe?
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  #203  
Old 08-04-2011, 10:36 PM
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Derby, I would be okay if NYCindie were my metamour
Aww, shucks!
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  #204  
Old 08-15-2011, 09:41 PM
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I'm going to have a little vent today. One of my (former?) best friends back home got married over the weekend. It was a surprise wedding and being that we live very far away I'm not surprised that we weren't invited. Her husband is someone who I don't care for at all. I wish I could be happy for her but I can't find it within myself to feel any kind of positive emotions for this wedding.

I don't know if that means that the friendship should just be over now and we should go our separate ways. It makes me sad to think that I'm allowing someone to come between us. We've been friends since high school. I haven't forgiven her yet for cheating on her previous spouse (whom I've also known since high school) and telling me about it before she told him (and also asked me not to say anything).

Her new husband likes to twist things around to serve his best interests. He has taken things that my husband and I have said to him in the past and made it sound like we don't care about our friend. It seems to me that he wants to drive a wedge between my friend and any remnants of her past life. I'm not sure if I'm just holding on now so as to not let him win. The thing is that it's not doing me any service to hang on to this friendship.

I know that this isn't a poly post but I really don't have anywhere else to vent about this. I'd just really like to stop caring so much about what she's doing. It has pretty much 0 effect on my day to day life after all.
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  #205  
Old 08-15-2011, 09:54 PM
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That stinks Derby. Maybe it's more about the "wrongness" factor than whether or not it affects your everyday life. To see someone taken in by a person who is -- well, less than honest or who is manipulative-- is hard to take, even if that friendship is less than stellar.

Only you can figure out if the friendship is worth hanging onto, but I totally get the frustration factor. :-(
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  #206  
Old 08-16-2011, 04:37 AM
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Sorry to hear this Derby. That sucks ;(
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  #207  
Old 08-16-2011, 01:58 PM
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I've hidden my friend's status updates from my facebook feed while I figure out what I want to do. It's not healthy for me emotionally to continue on the way I have been for the last year though. I'm hoping that having some distance from the reminder of the betrayal of her ex husband (another good friend of mine) will help me to let bygones be bygones.

I don't expect to ever like her new husband but one of the things I've learned from poly is that I don't have to like everyone in the lives of people who are important to me, I just need to be polite and respectful. I think I can do that (as long as he doesn't call my intergrety into question again).

I'm going to give it 6 weeks and see how I feel after that. For the next couple of weeks it's vacation time and I'm not going to think about it at all!
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  #208  
Old 08-19-2011, 11:22 PM
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For the next couple of weeks it's vacation time and I'm not going to think about it at all!
That's the ticket!
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  #209  
Old 09-03-2011, 03:13 PM
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I'm sitting here feeling rather annoyed about things that have nothing to do with me again. I know that it's not my place to say anything about relationships that have nothing to do with me. I feel that my husband is being treated unfairly and isn't being made a priority in his girlfriend's life. If it were me I think I would be cutting ties.

If someone needs that much time and space to work on other stuff maybe they simply don't have time or energy for another relationship. I hate to see my husband waiting around though. He deserves better. He deserves someone who is going to care about him and be there when he needs something.

Some of this is probably left over from a previous relationship that I was in where I wasn't a priority. Looking back on that relationship I know now that walking away much sooner would have saved me a lot of pain. Constant rejection isn't good for one's self esteem.
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  #210  
Old 09-05-2011, 04:46 AM
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I went downtown today to watch RP sing. She did a great job with her solo! Other than that it's been a nice quiet Sunday. I'm glad that I still have one more day off before going back to work.
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