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  #11  
Old 08-04-2011, 06:18 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MorningTwilight View Post
Let's try a different metaphor. I'm working on taking off a few pounds. I don't go out to a place that's renowned for its desserts, eyeball the dessert cart, hang around for awhile, and then leave. More simply, I just don't go. Why torment myself with what I cannot have?
But you don't stay locked at home for fear of walking in front of a cake store, do you? You could go out with other goals, and roll with it if you meet someone...
It seems like you're trying to sacrifice yourself for something she's likely not to appreciate. First, I'm not sure how she'd know if you went out or not. And secondly, from following the thread it seems to me that if you told her about the sacrifice of yours hoping she'll be thankful, instead she'll get upset that you consider it a sacrifice to begin with.

And really, it all feels like trying to feel sorry for yourself. And I'm not saying your situation is easy, it isn't, but you can still enjoy life a bit. You sound like you want to deny yourself every pleasure for fear that your wife might be upset otherwise. That doesn't seem very healthy.
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Tags
guilt, marriage vs. polyamory, mono/poly, opening a relationship

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