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  #351  
Old 08-02-2011, 07:30 PM
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I am melting. It is so damn hot.

Ordered a new bass guitar.
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  #352  
Old 08-02-2011, 11:14 PM
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Good. Possibility just left to go home .

I had a light bulb moment yesterday about why I'm so leery of going to his place when the opportunity arises.

It's the way he and his wife relate to each other. They bicker which sets me on edge which then makes me uncomfortable. Bickering is their way of communicating and I, for the life of me, can NOT see how they get much good communication done that way *sigh*.

I told him tonight. He didn't say much but He probably needs time to digest what I said.
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  #353  
Old 08-02-2011, 11:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
It's the way he and his wife relate to each other. They bicker which sets me on edge which then makes me uncomfortable. Bickering is their way of communicating . . .
My ex-inlaws were like that. Bickering and teasing each other mercilessly. They didn't know any other way to be. I couldn't be around it too much, and then my hubs would pick up the habit whenever he visited them. I'd have to tell him that didn't fly with me. Ah, but they loved each other and were married for 60 years.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 08-02-2011 at 11:38 PM.
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  #354  
Old 08-03-2011, 12:07 AM
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I love all of them, all five, but the bickering....I just can't take it for very long.

It makes me feel as thought it's directed at me, even when it isn't.
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  #355  
Old 08-03-2011, 12:32 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Kittehs.
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  #356  
Old 08-03-2011, 03:54 AM
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Bickering is their way of communicating and I, for the life of me, can NOT see how they get much good communication done that way *sigh*.
BrigidsDaughter and I are like that at times. We'll bicker, fight, and be told by people that we remind them of a couple who's been married for 50 years.

Usually what happens is we'll fight and bicker, and then later discuss what was said in a more reasonable manner. I figure if you can't let go and say what's really on your mind to your partner, there is an issue there.

As for how I'm doing? I'm, worried and tired. I've started a pretty intensive self improvement program and it's all kinds of tiring at the moment, physically and mentally, and I'm worried about money as usual. Nothing new, but it does wear on you after a while.
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  #357  
Old 08-03-2011, 07:10 AM
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Decided to sieze the day a bit more after the realisation that procrastination is the only reason I (as far as I know, she may yet be poly!) have lost my chance to tell B how I feel...

To this end I have sent a proper and well-thought-out apology to H, and fully intend to let L know that I do like her in *that* way (but making it clear that if she only wants friendship that's cool as well, the important thing is gaining another awesome person in my life, not the possiblity of getting my leg over).
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  #358  
Old 08-03-2011, 08:49 AM
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Decided to sieze the day a bit more after the realisation that procrastination is the only reason I (as far as I know, she may yet be poly!) have lost my chance to tell B how I feel...
You're talking to the Queen Procrastinator here, lol. If it can be put off, it will be.
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  #359  
Old 08-03-2011, 09:42 AM
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I am melting. It is so damn hot.

Ordered a new bass guitar.
OOH! What kind?
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  #360  
Old 08-03-2011, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. So, if you're disappointed, you can't force yourself to be un-disappointed. Let yourself feel it and it will dissipate of its own accord. Try to stuff it down and it will grow stronger. Just allowing yourself to be who and what you are, even if it's not the most pleasantest of feelings -- well, that's freedom.
I guess it's not so much the being disappointed, but the being able to acknowledge it to Wendigo w/o seeming like I want him to feel guilty or apologize. (I spent alot of time in the beginning trying to break him of his habit of apologizing for things he needent). Wendigo is by best friend, you know the kind of friend you share all your girl talk with; so I want to share my disappointment that I'm not spending as much time with my boyfriend as I'd like, to share how much I enjoyed the last time that the three of us were all together and how I'd hoped to do it again when he came over next, but its hard to do that when you're best friend is also your boyfriend. When he and Pretty Lady get wrapped up in work, I sometimes feel a bit lost because he won't log on to chat for days and I don't have my best friend to talk to and if he does log on (PL got him to sign in to chat on Mon for us) the conversation is pretty one sided. *sighs*

I sympathize with your frustration with Burnsy not communicating more often. Wendigo is definitely distracted and disconnected right now and I'm sure he will apologize for it later, but I also know he's doing something he loves, so it I feel a little guilty for wanting more of his time.
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