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Old 08-02-2011, 07:28 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Originally Posted by lovinhimloviner View Post
I really don't think he has broken my trust. Talking about our personal conversations with her maybe but he needs someone to talk to. We obviously aren't very good at communicating. I wasn't trying to retaliate against him at all and least not that I know of. I just saw it up and read one sentences and took it all wrong. Had I not broken that trust than there wouldn't even be an issue now. I do think it helped me come to terms with a few things and will make things better for me it in no way helps anyone else. Not to mention he is mad and I am sure she will be too when she finds out. I never meant to break their trust at all. I care too much about them. I am sure we need counseling and maybe one day that would be an option but right now I don't think it is.
I've been noticing something in all of your posts, mostly because it's something I have been doing all of my life as well... and that is, you are having an issue of one sort or another, and at some point you seem to be taking ALL of ther responsibility for everything, and making it into something YOU need to fix or a great big learning experience. Not that learning experiences aren't great, but why is it all up to you to do that?

My husband actually asked me that question last night... "why is it always about YOU doing something different or fixing something to make it work?" Because I always come back to "What can I do to fix this?" I had to think about it for a while, but for me it comes down to the overwhelming belief that if I don't fix it nobody else will, because I'm not worth enough to anybody to do that kind of work. I think I'm finally to the point where I can't do that anymore. I have to do what's right for me, and speak my mind... and if it works out, great, and if it isn't working out "Because I'm not doing everything to make it happen" then it wasn't meant to be. This is both a sad, and freeing realization.

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Exactly my point and why I am pushing that you guys need marriage counceling. A year ago my husband and I entered counceling as a last ditch effort to keep me from filing for divorce. For years neither of us felt like we could talk to the other person for fear they would take it wrong and get upset or we would be completely ignored. Both of us were making a LOT of assumptions about the other that could have easily been solved with a simple conversation (which we weren't capable of at the time). It wasn't until we started counceling that we learned what the real issues were. Some of what came out of those sessions shocked us both and we learned a great deal, especially how best to communicate with each other.
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emotional damage, quad

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