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Old 10-22-2009, 06:19 AM
Dune Dune is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9
Default Combining Both Worlds (partners)

Hi you guys. I just put up an intro post earlier today, so if I seem like a stranger, hopefully I wont be one for long.

As I said in my intro, Im fairly new to polyamory. Im a big believer in it, and I spent many years yearning to be able to explore opportunities outside of my at the time current relationships. It has always confused me why it's so generally assumed that a person cannot love more than one person at once. In fact, through my life I have always felt romantic love for multiple people. In my practices as of late I've become very comfortable in knowing that I can love and respect and devote a part of myself to more than one person.

My question is... when there are no rules... it's very hard to consider the best way of going about delicate situations. I've already mastered the acceptance of myself, and in turn expressing that to those that I am with. But... how do I go about integrating these seperate worlds into one?

I'm not horribly interested in having a group relationship. But I would like for these people who I love so dearly to be able to have at the very least, a friendship.
One of the men I'm seeing (this is more casual than my other relationship) is in my 'social circle' and the other is not. Considering that my other relationship (a friend who I have a very deep, emotional, loving connection with, who I consider a partner and indeed so far the greatest love of my life) is not involved in my social circle, it has been troubling me, since I would like to be able to bring him out to parties and gatherings and shows or whatever, but Im not really sure a)how to explain to my not so close friends why I have a new man on my arm yet still seem to be involved with the other man
and most importantly b) how do I get the two of them together and initiate open communication??

Neither of them are monogamous by nature, though neither have been in an open poly relationship before. So the acceptance is there 100 percent, but even I, with all my social awkwardness, have no idea how to introduce them. This could be my fear of old patterns (from previous mono relationships where I tried to breach the subject)
I suppose it just seems to good to be true, that these two amazing men have come into my life at the same time and for the first time ever it's TOTALLY okay. I just dont want to spoil a good thing with a bad first impression.

There is an event in a week or so, which everyone I know will be attending, including the less serious man. I've asked the other man to be my date, and providing he doesnt get called off to work, he will be joining me. Ive spoken to both of them and they are in understanding that each will be there, the other man may have a date of his own, and it seems to be fine all around. But I cant help but be nervous.

ANY advice would be appreciated. Im sorry this is so long, but as the first post, none of you have any history on me.
I just want this to go smoothly. And also, what do to if it doesnt. I dont want anyone to be uncomfortable, I really dont. But I am through denying myself. If they say it's alright Im going to trust that.
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