Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 07-31-2011, 03:07 PM
aliceloveshatter aliceloveshatter is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Bradford/Leeds
Posts: 11
Default How separate are your relationships?

I really hope there isn't another thread like this, but I can't think what it'd be tagged as and I couldn't see anything that's asking what I am.
My question is, how separately do you regard your relationships? How does one relationshp affect the another?
Because I feel (especially as part of what's supposed to be a triad) that all our relationships are shared, that since what happens between two partners will affect the third, that we should share arrangements and such fairly publicly within our family. I like to discuss any problems, arguments or misunderstandings with all of my partners, if not always all at one time.
Even if it doesn't directly feature one of them, I feel they should know because the outcome will affect the relationship as a whole. And I can't really see it any other way.

But Mr.V disagrees; he feels that our relationships can't be anything but separate, he sees me and him, then Ms.V and him, then Ms.V and me.
And I find that this attitude is leading to a lot of misunderstandings, and bad feelings between the three of us, most notably when making arrangements to meet Ms.V he often neglects to tell me, or to tell her that I'll be present, and that's caused a little spike of jealousy between us. Not much, and we've talked it over, but I'm digressing.

I just wanted to know how other people see their commitments; are you commited to each individual, regardless of the effect on the other? Or at risk of overlooking that individuality by being focused on the bigger picture a little too much? Is either one better?
Or is there a happy balance that you've found?

You weren't much of a muse, but then, I wasn't much of a poet...

Last edited by aliceloveshatter; 07-31-2011 at 05:10 PM.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:27 AM.