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  #11  
Old 10-21-2009, 09:07 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
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I love the Heinlein quote (Stranger In a Strange Land) "Love doesn't divide, it multiplies". Violet and I have been having this exact conversation today. In fact, tech put it in exactly the same words she did - "I don't understand how there can be more than 100%". This is a new issue with us, because up until recently, she's been the one pushing the "open relationship" concept and insisting that by sharing me she is happier.

Anyway - I cannot comprehend the "100% of love" thing. Love is infinite. Parents may or may not pick favorites, but they love all their kids - hell, I'm the oldest of 8 and I ertainly don't feel tht we each got 12.5% of our parents love, LMAO!

If you're religious, how does God/whever you equate with that term love literally BILLIONS of His/Her/Whatever children? Divide 100% by several tens of billions and there just ain't much to go around, lol. As a Christian, I certainly do NOT feel that od loves me .0000000001% of his total capacity!

Or pets - Violet has had at various times as many as 13 cats. If you have a cat and you get another, what's the split? 50/50? 60/40? If you have 13, do they all get 7.9% of your love? Or does one get 50% and the others each get 4%? See, I can't see it that way. Just can't.

I find that the more love thereis in my life, the greater my capacity to love in return. That makes sense to me and works for me. I can't fathom being another way.

Tech is right on the money with the time thing though - haven't found a way to multiply that seeing as my car, fast as it is, can't seem to manage lightspeed...
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  #12  
Old 10-21-2009, 09:27 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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[QUOTE=HappiestManAlive;9468]I love the Heinlein quote (Stranger In a Strange Land) "Love doesn't divide, it multiplies".


I find that the more love thereis in my life, the greater my capacity to love in return. That makes sense to me and works for me. I can't fathom being another way.

QUOTE]

Deleted some of your post when I quoted it.
But these two parts ring true for me as well (not that the rest didn't).

I think it's a hard lesson especially when the language we use (something my sister pointed out) makes it SOUND like it's "all or nothing". But the truth is that the more love that we give-the more we have to give.
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  #13  
Old 10-24-2009, 02:36 PM
bgfgirl bgfgirl is offline
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Thank you guys so much! I'm finding it really helpful to have people to talk to who understand that life and relationships are not black and white. For a long time I've tried to talk about my feelings involving my romantic relationships with my friends and I'm finding out that they just don't get it. And they are completely unhelpful in trying to figure this out.

I do find that when I take the risk and open myself up to him and talk about all the things we're going through, I pretty much always feel like we've grown closer through exposing our truest selves to each other. Sometimes my fears just get in my way. And I guess now I finally have somewhere to go and get some help and understanding.

Thanks again everyone! I really appreciate all your input.
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  #14  
Old 10-25-2009, 11:18 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I have to go with Ygirl, do some reading on here my friend! you are not alone.... do a search and learn, grow and be grounded. It doesn't mean he loves you less, I love my men more than words can express. I just happen to be able to do that.

search! read!
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