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  #101  
Old 07-30-2011, 02:28 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Uhhh I hate the hormonal flux. I went through a medical induced menopause at 21. That's how I knew Karma was a keeper . Then played the game of hormone catch up. One new pill after another. Finaly found one that makes me somewhat normal and even though I don't get a period, every once in awhile I'll realize I am overly hormonal and assume it's when I "should" be getting one.
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  #102  
Old 07-30-2011, 02:52 AM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Yuck, no fun! Hormones are just little evil things anyway, LOL. I just find it good to be aware... and interestingly, doing my yoga and other things has made my PMS much less... the wierd panic attack worst case scenario thoughts have been it so far (besides a little bloat), so I'm good with that!

So thank goodness it's FRIDAY! Went to hot yoga, even though I was BEAT. But going sets the tone for my whole weekend, so I wasn't about to ditch and I'm super glad I didn't! I tend to be a little more off balance, and get dizzy easier when I'm close to or starting my period.. LOL.. funny, but I'm good at modifying and laying down if I need to.

Now home and showered and doing some studying for my final tomorrow. (Not right this SECOND of course!). Having a glass of wine (or two) and relaxing... yay!!!

Had a really LOVELY texting time with hubs today. Sexy and fun and loving... so so needed and it's funny how such little things make such a HUGE difference. Anyway, since we're in the 3 week window for him coming home now I've been upping the sexual tension quotient! Can't do it too far in advance or it's just freaking frustrating!!! But it's been nice and definitely helps keep things exciting.

I think we're going to go ahead and get a hotel room for the night he comes home and maybe the next night-- even though we're taking a vacation a couple of weeks later. Our house is just too small and I have two grown teenagers living there... there's just no way to properly celebrate a homecoming under those circumstances! I was checking out hotels and I think I know which one I want to go to. It's downtown in SD, on the water, with a NICE pool, and walking distance to all the food places and stuff downtown, as well as the waterfront for walking and stuff. I just need to get the dates finalized and I'll reserve.

Ah, the home stretch!!
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  #103  
Old 07-30-2011, 11:22 AM
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Hey Minxxa, just wanted to say good luck with your final. You seem to be well prepared already and not too nervous I hope everything goes as planned. And have a great time with your husband. You got my respect for being able to lead such an arduous relationship (in regard to distance).
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  #104  
Old 07-30-2011, 03:52 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Going to a hotel for a couple days definitely sounds needed.

Peri-menopause sucks. Becoming post-menopausal rocks.
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  #105  
Old 07-30-2011, 04:54 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post
I was checking out hotels and I think I know which one I want to go to. It's downtown in SD, on the water, with a NICE pool, and walking distance to all the food places and stuff downtown, as well as the waterfront for walking and stuff. I just need to get the dates finalized and I'll reserve.
I've stayed at both the Marriott & the Hyatt (next door), their very nice but pricey. I liked taking walks in the little park out on the jetty, awesome view. I was always alone on a business trip and everytime I went out into the park I wished my husband was with me.
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  #106  
Old 07-30-2011, 06:26 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Well the final is over yay! It was horrible. LOL. This teacher was the worst I've ever had. A lot of questions on little bitty things in the readings we didn't discuss in class and puh-lenty of grammatical nonsense that made the questions unintelligible. Oh well. It's over.

Long distance has not been easy but in the end we've done okay with it and most definitely learned a lot. I feel like we are way stronger as a result. But I AM looking forward to a little close distance!!

I am not looking forward to the process of menopause but the other side sounds lovely. :-) I've had periods for qlmost thirty years and I'm about done. Had my tubes tied 8 years ago so it's not like I need those eggs making their little trip!

The hotel I'm looking at is the Hilton on the east side of the convention center. Really close to the Marriott and hyatt! Same stretch of bay. I am VERY excited!! Mini honeymoon before the vacay.

Were under 3 weeks now. So much to do and yet I want it to go faster. LOL it's alwYs like this.
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  #107  
Old 08-01-2011, 03:54 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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So made it through the weekend unscathed. Enjoyed hanging with my friends on Saturday afternoon, just hung out at the house in the evening with my son and cleaned a little.

Sunday was completely lazy. Slept in a little, then got up and had breakfast, hung out with my daughter and son. The girlchild and I are on a Gilmore Girls marathon, starting with season 1 so we watched a bunch of that.

I totally skipped out on yoga. Was feeling tired and a tiny bit hungover and PMSy and figured I needed the day off. The only unfortunate thing is that I won't get to go again until Friday, but that's okay.

A tiny bit of anxiety, but much better than I had in the past, and dealable. Mostly it was because as the weekend progressed hubs sounded more stressed... by sunday he was obviously worn down. I heard from him a tiny bit in the a.m. and then no goodnight text AND no wakeup text which is odd... sometimes he'll skip one, but usually make it up with the other... so my little bit of anxiety was there until I heard from him this morning. Just fears about the situation getting out of control...

But he's still alive, and we get to chat tonight, so that will be lovely. I did tell him I understand he's busy (his replacement got there today so he's busy training and going over everything and super duper busy trying to wrap all this stuff up!), but that when I dont get a goodnight OR a wakeup I worry. Now that I have, I can relax and we can talk tonight.

Unfortunately I don't sleep well when I'm in that anxiety mode, even when it's a low grade anxiousness. :-/ That part sucks and I don't seem to be able to do anything about it because, well... I'm asleep! Not a good sleep, but sleeping none-the-less! I went to bed early last night because I was tired and wanted to get as much sleep as humanly possible, so I was in bed asleep by 8:30. Woke up a couple of times to pee and sip water... and then woke up at 4:30, looked at my phone (no message), and couldn't go back to sleep. Grrr. I did lay in bed though until 6:20, so I at least got "rest" with my eyes closed, but I really do hate that.

Ah well... I still feel relatively rested.
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  #108  
Old 08-02-2011, 02:58 AM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Had the WORST convo with hubs. Talked about the GF. Basically a shitty situation there is no answer for.

The downward spiral started yesterday when we were texting and he got very cold and pulled away. Between that and not texting last night and this morning I was already in a mood, and it just built over the day.

I just wanted to sit and chat about something nice, but basically I've been ignoring the big damn issue because there's no resoluation. I haven't dealt with the situation, just ignored it and that never works.

I'm just damn tired of pretending I'm okay with something that I'm NOT freaking okay with. I don't have to like her, I don't have to want to hang out with her, but I have to not be freaking SCARED of what she could do to my family. And pretending I'm not is impossible. And I don't care that he doesn't see it. I love my husband but seeing what's REALLY there and sussing out situations is NOT his strong suit.

At one point during the conversation he asked, why do I always make it about myself, about what I (meaning me) have to do to fix the situation. Why? Because NOBODY ELSE FREAKING WILL.

I have no idea what to do about this. There is no answer. I don't know how I'm going to deal with the next three weeks.
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  #109  
Old 08-02-2011, 03:41 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Hugs!

In my house it's my husband that feels helpless when I vent or complain and then he tries to be helpful and tries to "fix" it, when in truth I just needed a sounding board or someone to show me some compassion. It seems like he is second guessing my decissions or my ability to handle what ever it is. We had to come to a deal, that unless I specifically ask for his advice or help, he just needs to listen. If there is any doubt, ASK! I have also learned that sometimes I need to let him know that I'm just venting or just need to talk it out. This has made a big difference for us.

I don't know the specifics of your conversation, but I do know that if he was just looking for compassion and got advice instead, he might feel like you don't respect him. It almost sounds like he just needed someone to listen.
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  #110  
Old 08-02-2011, 04:04 AM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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I do get what you're saying, but he wasn't talking to me about her to express anything to vent. I just couldn't pretend she didn't exist anymore, which was what I had been doing...


We were talking about the rift him being with her is creating between us. Because I am so NOT right with it, and I didn't feel I could be NOT right with it... I told him I just didn't want to hear anything about it because that's the only way I could function. And that silence I asked for created a huge space between us.

My fault I guess.

But at this point I don't know what to do. I can't pretend I'm okay with it, I can't ignore it... I can't run away to a desert island and avoid the situation.

I have a lot of thinking to do about our relationship. About seeing us as we are, instead of what we want to be. About seeing and accepting him as he is, and knowing there are certain things he can't give me or do for me, and seeing myself as I am and accepting that I don't need to agree to everything and sometimes I need to say NO. I can't handle x, I don't want to do y, instead of feeling like I have to be the one to change and adapt and get right with everything.

I don't know what this means for us. Changes for sure... just don't know exactly what...
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