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  #141  
Old 07-26-2011, 08:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
One sex therapists take on the popular interpretation of Sex at Dawn

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ce-sex-therapy
From that article:

"Human nature? It's the bananas, stupid.

During Jane Goodall's first four years studying chimpanzees in Tanzania, according to Sex at Dawn, she observed them to be remarkably peaceful creatures. But they were difficult to observe, since they tended not to hang around her camp much. So she tried to attract them nearer by regularly feeding them bananas. The effect, evidently, was to make the chimpanzees more aggressive. Fighting between them increased dramatically.

Now, which represented the chimpanzee's true nature? The gentle chimpanzees happily feeding far apart in the forest, not bothering each other? Or the hoodlum chimpanzees shoving each other out of the way at the daily banana trough?

The answer, as Ryan and Jetha eloquently express, is neither. It's like asking whether water's true nature is ice or liquid. It all depends on the conditions. Change the conditions, and you change which of many potential natures will be manifest."


......................

This is such a true thing, and an excellent conceptual structure for understanding the practice of Buddha Dharma. In Buddha Dharma, we become what we practice at being. If we practice at being unkind, we become unkind. If we practice kindness, we become kind.... Our practice is part of the set of "conditions" which make up what we are and what we may become.
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  #142  
Old 07-26-2011, 08:26 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Our practice is part of the set of "conditions" which make up what we are and what we may become.
Nice quote River. I need to become more silent..which means I should practice being quiet
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  #143  
Old 07-26-2011, 08:30 PM
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The kind of early human social structure that encouraged sexual promiscuity was a delicate thing. It required a small tightly-knit group of less than 150 individuals, an abundant natural food supply, and an inability to hoard resources. As I look out my front door in New York City, I don't detect much potential for the establishment of that kind of social order. It's strictly big boxes of bananas, all the way up Columbus Avenue.

Yet the popular buzz in the book's first month seems to miss all of this. "We're really meant to be promiscuous!" yell the headlines.

No. The reality is more sobering. The material conditions that would permit a stable culture of sexual promiscuity are long since gone.
From the same article (linked above).

=====


The social conditions may be different for most people, but the basic biology (our bodies) isn't so much different at all. Our bodies are the same, essentially, as the bodies of our Pleistocene ancestors.

Humans During the Pleistocene:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pleisto...he_Pleistocene
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  #144  
Old 07-26-2011, 08:44 PM
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I can't read it Cindie. I know I would do so with the intent to support my belief that early human sexual behaviour has no application in a modern world.
Yeah, so why not! It is also a very entertaining read.
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  #145  
Old 07-28-2011, 05:50 PM
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My mono co-worker is reading it. She's really enjoying it and finding it interesting. Still mono but at least recognizes that really, life long monogamy is likely not natural. She doesn't understand why anyone would want to bother with non-monogamy. She says that one man is all she can handle to many othrer things to do.
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  #146  
Old 07-13-2012, 12:23 AM
Fayerweather Fayerweather is offline
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Default Sex At Dawn?

Who among you here have read Sex At Dawn? I just finished it and am feeling strangely isolated. My partners and my partner's partners haven't read it, and I'm surrounded by monogamous people who are either threatened by what the book is about or aren't interested.

I was curious to see what poly people thought of it and how it affected them, if at all.

Thanks
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  #147  
Old 07-13-2012, 12:26 AM
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I haven't yet, what is it about?
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  #148  
Old 07-13-2012, 04:15 AM
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Loved it! Really helped me to make sense of all this.
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  #149  
Old 07-13-2012, 01:10 PM
Fayerweather Fayerweather is offline
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Glitter: It's a book about how early man (pre-agricultural man) was naturally polyamorous. It kind of disproves the standard narrative that says that monogamous pair bonding is "natural" to our species. Full of awesome information, anthropological, archeological, sociological info that proves that we were never naturally meant to be monogamous and that monogamy arose out of a need to pass down land and ownership of property in our post agricultural societies. Really cool stuff whether you agree with it or not. I'd highly recommend it.

Magdalena: Yes! I found the book to be incredibly validating. I knew polyamory was always the right choice for me whether It was prehistorically preordained or not, but the book painted such a beautiful picture as human kind being predisposed to positivity and sexual freedom. Also, the feminist aspects were wonderful. Yes, it's OK that I'm always horny :P
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  #150  
Old 07-13-2012, 01:17 PM
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The thing that was strange, and Mag, maybe you can give me your opinion on this. I felt like the whole book was leading up to a proud declaration that we should all be poly. I was a little let down by Christopher Ryan's last chapter being devoted to strong suggestions that married people should open their relationships to purely sexual flings in order to keep marriages happy and healthy. He made a couple of luke-warm references to polyamory, but the main emphasis in the end seemed to be "let your partners stray a little so that you can maintain your marriage" with the main emphasis being on men having purely sexual affairs so as not to fall in love and threaten their primary partners. Did you pick up on that? Or am I coloring it somehow?
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bonobos, boobs, books, breastfeeding, chimps, evolution, history, mono poly, mono/poly, monogamy, non-monogamy, reading, sex at dawn, tribal sex customs

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