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Old 07-28-2011, 02:41 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default How do you deal with yourself?

This has probably been gone over a dozen times but still, I struggle. I have mostly no intellectual beef with BDSM; it's the emotional side I don't get.

I mean, I'm a devout Christian who loves bunnies and butterfly prints, wears mostly pink and works with people with intellectual disabilities. I giggle alot and believe strongly in both feminism and pacifism as worthwhile causes. And though it goes against everything I believe in and everything I think I am and want to represent, I really do like hurting people who like to be hurt.

Dominance is something that is valued and looked up to in our society. However, sadism is something that is almost never associated with anything positive or constructive. I can't shake the notion that I must not be alright in the head, or that this dark side of me somehow negates everything bright and positive I am and strive for.

Is anyone else seriously distrubed with themselves ?
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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