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Old 07-27-2011, 08:59 AM
gspang4207 gspang4207 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 6
Default Help..need some advice...

Hi everyone...
I am new to this site...

I am really struggling with my relationship right now. I am a gay male in a relationship with my partner for over 5 years. We have recently decided to open our relationship, not due to any problems or issues, but I think for some excitement.

My partner has become friends with another guy. I have known about the friendship and have even hung out with the guy on occasion. I have recently discovered that they have fallen in love with each other. At first I was shocked, felt lied to, deceived, hurt....all those types of emotions. As I have thought more about this, I can come to an understanding of why and how.

Through our talks about this situation, my partner has told me that he remains completely devoted to me and wants to be with me. I feel the same way, we are in love with each other and we have that connection...

He has also stated in a perfect world, he would like to love both of us and have a poly relationship. I am very open minded and would be willing to try this, but I am struggling with the point that they already have a bond together, that I do not have with this guy. So, I would need to get to know him and what not. I have thought about this with my partner and have laid some ground rules until the 3 of us can come together and talk. Basically, they cannot tell each other they love each other for now. My partner has to be completely honest with me from this point forward, or else our relationship will not be able to continue. We have to be able to talk to each other and express our feelings without being judged. My partner cannot hang out with this guy alone, until we talk, and if we can work this out, come to an understanding.

So this is where we are. Here it is 4am, I cannot sleep because I am worried about my relationship and how all of this could work. I really need some advice here...My partner has stated that he is in love with this guy and would be very upset if I asked him to discontinue the friendship...I don't want to do that, I want to be ok with this, but I am not sure I am strong enough.

Thank you for reading...
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homosexual, opening a relationship

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