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Old 07-24-2011, 10:45 PM
PussNBoots PussNBoots is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 20
Default First romantic/sexual relationship and its polyamorous. Advice?

So as a result of many factors: extreme shyness, growing up a religious fundamentalist, etc. I have never had a girlfriend. I didn't lose my virginity until age 30 (just one year ago!), had a couple of one-night stands and while they were fun they were not really what I was looking for. And now I have met not one, but two women who I feel very attracted to and who feel the same way about me. For the sake of anonymity I won't use their real names here. Let's call them BrownEyedGirl (for her beautiful brown eyes) and Ginger (a gorgeous redhead).

I originally met BrownEyedGirl at a convention a few years back, and while I had always thought she was cute, she was also very shy and I was shy too and too dense to recognize if a woman was attracted to me unless she made it blatantly clear. We friended each other on Facebook, and I would occasionally see her at similar conventions, but other than that I didn't see her much. I didn't even know she had a longtime crush on me until she revealed it to me yesterday!

I first met Ginger at a meetup for people attending Burning Man (I'd try to explain what Burning Man is, but a few sentences just wouldn't do it justice!) and then saw her again at a fetish convention, which was my very first foray into the world of kink. I met her husband as well during that time. She asked me out of the blue what I thought about polyamory, and I responded that I'd heard about it and it made a lot of sense to me, though only on a theoretical level--having almost no experience at relationships or dating. Then she asked me out on a date (to which I said yes) and kissed me.

Meanwhile, I had been posting on Facebook about Burning Man and also various raves I had started going to, and how I really loved the burner/raver crowd. I felt like my oddities were accepted in this crowd. I wore a catsuit to some raves/burns (originally for the fetish convention), decided to pick up the art of poi, and started experimenting with various costumes to wear to these events. BrownEyedGirl commented on my Facebook posts about how fascinating my life seemed to be becoming, and how she would really love to join me to one of these raves I was going to sometime. I invited her to hang out at one of my friends' lake house one weekend, and we started talking and discovering we have a ton of things in common with each other! Later she mentioned she was going to be in town (she lives about an hour and a half's drive away from where I live) and would I like to hang out and maybe grab dinner or something? So I did, and then we went on a long walk in a local park, talking for hours, at the end of which I kissed her.

So BrownEyedGirl is single and is brand new to polyamory, although she says she's not opposed to the idea of it. Ginger is an experienced poly-goer and has had a poly relationship with her husband for a number of years now. I too am brand new to polyamory, but one thing I do know is that I definitely want to date both of these women and have ongoing relationships (and sex!) with both of them. I have now spent a night making out with Ginger while she masturbated and later spent a night having sex with BrownEyedGirl (I made sure to talk with BrownEyedGirl about Ginger before doing this, so there wouldn't be any surprises.)

I am looking for advice, since I am brand new to both poly and relationships in general. What are some challenges newbies are likely to face? What are good questions to ask going into a new poly relationship? Thanks!
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