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Old 07-20-2011, 09:04 AM
ohthatgirl ohthatgirl is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Default I am so confused. Please help?

My husband and I have recently begun talking about and thinking about swinging. We have had a few very limited experiences. However, in the last month or so, he's met a woman (married) with whom he has really hit it off.

He has admitted to having strong feelings for her, but has also said that if I am too uncomfortable with the situation, that he will end contact with her. I don't want to do that. I want him to be happy, no matter what that entails (I think). But I do have concerns, and the more I read, the more this is starting to look like a polyamorous situation.

She is married and her husband is fully aware of the amount of time they spend together, and is okay with it.

The one time my husband met her, they got physical. He lied to me about it for a few days, and then came clean. I haven't forgiven him, but I am working on it. Her husband is fully aware of their physical interaction, their desire for one another, and the four of us have a basic level of physical attraction, though her husband and I seldom speak with one another. I have not met either of them IRL, only via the internet (webcam, email and text messages).

That said, when the four of us do meet up, it is understood that the four of us will engage in sexual relations, to some extent. I am somewhat excited about this, as I do find the girl fairly attractive.

I guess...I'm not sure how to proceed. How do I get okay with his new relationship? I am still very interested in "swinging," - it's very easy for me to separate sex from love in that structure. I should also note that I do not *want* to be in love with anyone else. That is not what I'm looking for in a sexual partner at all.

My husband and I continue to enjoy a very solid, strong and loving relationship. He is my hero and my heart, and I know that he feels the same about me. I have NO concerns that he will leave me for her, or anything like that.

How do I get okay with this situation, and how do we help each other through this? Am I totally in the wrong place here?

Your advice is very much appreciated. Thank you.
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