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  #141  
Old 07-19-2011, 03:07 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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They came on the ark 2 by 2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8njvA...layer_embedded
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
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my bf: Ginger, 61, married to:
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and dating (NRE): Carla and David, married couple, early 40s
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  #142  
Old 07-20-2011, 03:12 AM
jasminegld jasminegld is offline
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...AA. This involves a 12 step programme where you search out a relationship with "A God of your understanding'. I have searched all my life for such a relationship through both christianity and more new age philosophies but never found it to the extent I have through AA.
This is interesting. Are you willing to say more?

I had a fascinating conversation with an atheist a week or two ago, in which he and I understood each other on a point of faith for the first time. I've been working on finding a way to understand at least a little the atheist approach for over ten years now, and finally got somewhere in this conversation.

So now I'm all interested in hearing about other people's new experiences.

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The further I get into the programme the more difficulty I seem to have accepting being in a committed relationship with someone polyamorous.
Why do you think that is? Is the programme freeing you to express what you want to express? Or is the programme leading you to express what the programme wants you to express? Is this something you want to talk about?

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My daughter, who is very christian tells me this is because the concept of polyamory is not of God (her God anyway).
I'm very Christian too. I'm also very poly. Someone once asked me to reconcile my open marriage with Scripture -- I had written about open marriage before I learened the word polyamory. May I email my response to you?


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A God of my understanding is impossible to explain but does not have such prejudices. He does however want me to be happy and I'm wondering if the way this is manifesting is an indication that this relationship is perhaps not the best platform for my peace and happiness moving forward.
Are there more issues than just polyamory involved? What about security, companionship, and simplicity? Are they missing too?

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I have these thoughts on one hand and on the other I think that this is just me battling my ego.
Jacob wrestled with the angel. Judaism, I'm told, has a tradition of wrestling with the Scriptures to figure out what them mean. Battling is part of deep soul searching.

Jasmine
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  #143  
Old 07-20-2011, 03:40 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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Originally Posted by jasminegld View Post
I had a fascinating conversation with an atheist a week or two ago, in which he and I understood each other on a point of faith for the first time. I've been working on finding a way to understand at least a little the atheist approach for over ten years now, and finally got somewhere in this conversation.
I am kind of interested in how this went. It may be off topic for this thread. If so, maybe a new thread? But no pressure. I am just curious.
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  #144  
Old 07-20-2011, 04:12 AM
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Thanks for taking some much interest in this JG. Yes, please email me your response I think it will be very helpful. There is definitely something very deep here for me, even reading your response had in tears and I'm typing through tears.

There is definitely a connection in my head between polyamory and God not co-habiting comfortably. It isn't to do with sin, or historical rules but more that it seems to be one of what I'll call "The big Suggstions" that most people who live their lives from a Christian platform adhere to. Other "Big Suggestions" are things like, "As you sow shall you reap"; the whole thing about idols and money; "Be as little children" etc. I believe in these premises because I have observed them work out well more often than not. I've noticed that when I apply them to my life it goes much better. Remember this is purely my philosophy.

As I've said I'm also open to the possibility that I am just battling my own ego. I'm using the principles of AA to deal with it, which is handing over my will to a power greater than myself. This is another "Big Suggestion" that I have seen works out best for me. I'm trying not to project out too far and just live each day to the best of my ability and leave the rest up to God. This seems to be working well.


"Are there more issues than just polyamory involved? What about security, companionship, and simplicity? Are they missing too?" - No, I feel very secure in my relationship, we live simply and are best, best friends. My problems are around depth of relationship and feeling. There is something disturbing for me in being totally invested emotionally when my partner is not because he also loves someone else.
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  #145  
Old 07-20-2011, 05:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sage View Post
There is definitely a connection in my head between polyamory and God not co-habiting comfortably. It isn't to do with sin, or historical rules but more that it seems to be one of what I'll call "The big Suggstions" that most people who live their lives from a Christian platform adhere to. Other "Big Suggestions" are things like, "As you sow shall you reap"; the whole thing about idols and money;
Remember, the "Big Suggestions" are man's rules/suggestions not God's. If God does not strickly forbid it, it's not wrong. Man has a habit of feeling the need for more rules and regulations in order to "feel" holy or righteous and therefore invents his own version of what he thinks God SHOULD have written.

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"Be as little children" etc. I believe in these premises because I have observed them work out well more often than not. I've noticed that when I apply them to my life it goes much better. Remember this is purely my philosophy.
Children don't have the same hang ups about how many people or even who they are allowed to love like as most of us adults have.

Check out Romans 14, read it, then substitue other things for "eat". The verse is not about food, but any man made ritual or restriction. I keep coming back to this verse in my own life when I find myself judging other Christians and their beliefs.
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  #146  
Old 07-20-2011, 06:08 AM
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Thanks SN. Surprisingly even having this discussion on the forum is upsetting me again. I'll go and dig my bible out of the basement and check out Romans. I bought a very large bible a number of years ago, which I keep trying to get rid of and it keeps coming back to me. I shifted it down to the basement when I got into trouble for randomly pulling out quotes. I gave it to my mother when I really went off it but she kept it knowing that I would one day want it back, and I did. I think I have a really confused and difficult relationship with Christianity and the bible.

The "be as little children" I hadn't thought of in relation to polyamory, because seriously committed adult love relationships aren't something that a child experiences. I think of it more in their ability to live in the present.
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  #147  
Old 07-20-2011, 06:27 AM
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I'll go and dig my bible out of the basement and check out Romans.
Google it - way faster and you can even switch between like a 100 different versions.

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I think I have a really confused and difficult relationship with Christianity and the bible.
Funny thing, when I was trying to find excuses to abandon Christianity and the God of the Bible, I spent alot of time reading the Bible. I came to quite a few conclusions for myself that aren't real popular with most Christians and especially my mother. The real funny thing is that my brother and I came to nearly the same conclusions and views independently.

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The "be as little children" I hadn't thought of in relation to polyamory, because seriously committed adult love relationships aren't something that a child experiences. I think of it more in their ability to live in the present.
I wasn't strictly refering to Poly either, but they are more open to love in all forms and can also return it (they don't care about color, race, religon, gender, if you walk with a limp, etc), they are also open to actually listening and learning to what God wants them to hear instead of what man thinks God wants.
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  #148  
Old 07-20-2011, 06:38 AM
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There is something lovely about the thin delicate pages of a big old bible. Mine has all these guides and commentaries in it and when I opened Romans one of the first things that struck me was a commentary on adultery. I find it really, really hard to get past this when it comes to polyamory and Christianity.
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  #149  
Old 07-20-2011, 06:50 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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. . . one of the first things that struck me was a commentary on adultery. I find it really, really hard to get past this when it comes to polyamory and Christianity.
I wouldn't ever see polyamory, with its emphasis on honesty, communication, and openness, and being so much (much!) more than sex, as anything even remotely like adultery! The word "adultery" just makes me think of illicit, secret sexual liaisons, to satisfy very base desires and coveting what someone else has.

Christianity is supposed to be about love, and so is polyamory. Perhaps you're having a problem with the sexual aspect of multiple relationships? I have heard that the Torah has no pronouncement against adultery, I wonder if that is true. The fact remains that there are so many contradictions in the Bible, and its writings can be interpreted numerous ways -- it is easy to get confused and twist yourself into knots trying to understand it. My mother used to torture herself over specific verses trying to decipher their meanings and how to apply them to her life -- to the point where our pastor actually advised her to stop reading the Bible!

I would suggest that this is the source of your unrest, and I have my doubts that the Bible can help you here:
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Originally Posted by sage View Post
My problems are around depth of relationship and feeling. There is something disturbing for me in being totally invested emotionally when my partner is not because he also loves someone else.
It sounds like your issue surrounds doubting your partner's ability to love one than one as deeply as you love him. That's big, "challenging old beliefs" kind of stuff.
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Last edited by nycindie; 07-20-2011 at 06:57 AM.
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  #150  
Old 07-20-2011, 06:56 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Adultery was a property crime - the intent to steal another man's wife without his permission. It was never intended to mean what it means today. Nearly all the heros of the Old Testament had multiple wives and concubines with God's blessing and never once was it considered adultery.

I don't like bibles with commentaries anymore because they skew things to their way of thinking right or wrong.
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