Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-18-2011, 08:28 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Originally Posted by Imapolygirlmaybe View Post
WOW SOUNDS LIKE ME. The days I know they are having just "them" time I DO NOT text him at all. Nothing. I have gone days without talking to him at all because I knew they were having their time together.
Yeah, and I was really REALLY frustrated when I wrote that.

I've had to let it go. I now know why she does it... and I've let go of the frustration about it. It's not my issueto deal with. It IS, however, because of deeper issues/insecurities/needs, so I agree that there's most likely a lot of issues your BFs wife has about you and him together that she is not dealing with. Hopefully in time she will... but the first step is admitting what's going on and then taking a good hard look at it.

I will say that I myself have been having some issues and conflicts between what I WANTED to be okay with and was okay with intellectually, but emotionally having pain in regards to it. My brain was saying "yeah, that's fine" and my body was saying "this sucks, I hate it make it stop!" I had to acknowledge the pain, and let it happen in order for it to pass. Stuffing it down inside doesn't help-- it just festers and then comes out in some crazy-making way.

If nothing else, I've had to just be good with things for my hubs' sake. He doesn't need her blowing up his phone AND me whining about it.

Last edited by Minxxa; 07-18-2011 at 08:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
Old 07-19-2011, 04:50 AM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

Originally Posted by Imapolygirlmaybe View Post
It's never a set day during the week. Just depends on everyone's schedules.
Well...COULD it be a set day? Or at least a date set a few days ahead of time each week? That might solve some things, although it might bring up things on her end, if she is feeling jealous and acts up right before. But then at least it would be more clear what the issue is, and you and bf would have a day you knew it was OK without having to do any more asking permission to have sex. (Which btw, if I was in her place, having my husband ask me if it was ok if TODAY was the day it was OK to have sex with a gf, I would probably be thinking about that a lot and it'd be more stressful than if plans for a sex date night was gone over a couple days before so I'd know when it was, but it wouldn't be the last thing I heard when I last spoke to my husband for the day? I can't picture being in this situation, so I don't know how helpful my advice is or if that how it's set up, but I thought I'd give it anyway )
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 07-19-2011 at 04:57 AM.
Reply With Quote

boundaries, rules, texting

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 02:26 PM.