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  #431  
Old 07-18-2011, 04:22 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Amazing how quickly this thread gets numerous responses, LOL. You kinky people!
I know for me i am in a very bdsm headspace. I hadn't planned on posting on the forum again, but saw bdsm...what can I say, I am sucker for some abusive fucking...

anyways back to my regularly schedule lurking
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  #432  
Old 07-18-2011, 04:30 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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so I'd feel buzzed as though I had an orgasm without actually having one the way people ordinarily experience them.
That is cool! I don't get that which probably explains why I have a hard time watching some of the more sharp pinching forms of BDSM. I enjoy heavy impact but can't even watch people getting thier nipples pinched LOL!
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  #433  
Old 07-18-2011, 04:36 PM
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Getting a good flogging has nothing to do with sex for me. It has everything to do with a theraputic release. I don't find pain physically exciting..I find it emotionally healing. It's a way yo deal with my feelings of guilt from past mistakes because I don't have another outlet.
That's interesting, and something that never occurred to me. So, do you think that someday when you will have healed and resolved those issues, and let go of your guilt, you won't be into pain anymore? That is the goal, right? To resolve and get past those feelings?
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  #434  
Old 07-18-2011, 04:45 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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That is cool! I don't get that which probably explains why I have a hard time watching some of the more sharp pinching forms of BDSM. I enjoy heavy impact but can't even watch people getting thier nipples pinched LOL!
Different types of sensation works for different people. Some days I can take a lot without working up to it and barely feel anything, other times, a little smack on the butt stings and doesn't feel good at all.

Truth be told, I don't "do" S&M in the sack THAT much. It's more of a day-to-day thing, primarily spanking. My husband smacks my butt whenever he sees me bend over. Sometimes it leads to more; usually it doesn't because we are in the middle of doing other things, and the spanking is just a fun way of connecting that DOES NOT HAVE TO LEAD TO ORGASM EVERY TIME! lol
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  #435  
Old 07-18-2011, 04:50 PM
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That's interesting, and something that never occurred to me. So, do you think that someday when you will have healed and resolved those issues, and let go of your guilt, you won't be into pain anymore? That is the goal, right? To resolve and get past those feelings?
There might be a time when those emotions are overcome but that is not expected honestly. I think I would still enjoy the flogging because I have always been involved with activities involving getting hit. The way Redpepper uses a flog definitely fills that need The thumping of a heavy flog radiates through my body and makes me feel stronger as it breaks me down. I think there will always be a place for that.
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  #436  
Old 07-18-2011, 04:52 PM
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that DOES NOT HAVE TO LEAD TO ORGASM EVERY TIME! lol
Agreed
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  #437  
Old 07-18-2011, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
My husband smacks my butt whenever he sees me bend over. Sometimes it leads to more; usually it doesn't because we are in the middle of doing other things, and the spanking is just a fun way of connecting that DOES NOT HAVE TO LEAD TO ORGASM EVERY TIME! lol
But, see, that doesn't even sound like BDSM to me. That just sounds like the normal playful interactions a couple engages in day-to-day. Lots of people give each other a fun smack on the butt when one of them's bending over; it doesn't mean they're into BDSM.
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  #438  
Old 07-18-2011, 05:01 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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But, see, that doesn't even sound like BDSM to me. That just sounds like the normal playful interactions a couple engages in day-to-day. Lots of people give each other a fun smack on the butt when one of them's bending over; it doesn't mean they're into BDSM.
I'm into "major" spankings too (spanked with different objects and/or until purple welts appear, I think that qualifies as BDSM even if no one else here agrees), and other things. I was just giving an example of how it can be incorporated into a life without having to drop everything and have an orgasm every time.
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  #439  
Old 07-19-2011, 04:24 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
But, see, that doesn't even sound like BDSM to me. That just sounds like the normal playful interactions a couple engages in day-to-day. Lots of people give each other a fun smack on the butt when one of them's bending over; it doesn't mean they're into BDSM.
BDSM isn't all about sex for everyone. For me it's about the power exchange, and you can't "see" that from an external standpoint. The smack on the butt might be normal interaction for some people, but I know when my husband does it to demonstrate his dominance, and I can tell the difference when he's just doing it for fun.

If I've learned one thing, it's that BDSM means different things for EVERYONE.
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  #440  
Old 07-19-2011, 07:35 AM
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I like to break my subs down until they are completely in my control. Then I build them back up with love, respect, absolute awe and complete devotion to their need to belong to me. Them licking my shoes is a sign of that belonging and devotion to me. The better a job they do, the more respect they get. There is nothing that angers me more than a half ass job because a sub doesn't get it or isn't into it. There is really no point and it makes me feel that they don't respect my dominance over them.

As to Mono... you do get hard baby. We have not got to a point where we have put that to use as there are many issues that are more important to get through first and they don't relate to your sexual desire. Perhaps that is a project to work on sometime

I think that there is room for both sexual play and not in a scene. I have a subbie that I talk to all the time on line that is knows that I am not available for sexual play and he respects that and gets that fulfilled elsewhere. I have not played with him due to other avenues to go on right now, but if we should ever meet up, I would have to end the scene if he is not able to redirect into something less sexual. I would have to communicate at length about what he hopes to get out of a scene with me and what I would get out of it also.
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