BDsm

[nycindie]

Ari, I can understand that aspect of it, the control thing. Knowing that Shorty could so easily overpower me was a turn-on when he did things like hold me down and shove me around on the bed (he's even bigger than you are).

But if he started kissing my shoes it would have grossed me out! What I want to know is if the act of someone kissing your shoes actually, in that moment, makes a woman wet or a guy hard. I'm more interested in the arousal part of it.

I find it hard to believe, but maybe it's just because I am not turned on by that. I recently blindfolded my new beau and cuffed him to my headboard while I kissed, nibbled, and licked him all over, but I was turned on physically by his reaction/enjoyment, not the blindfold or cuffs. Does my question make sense?


Edit: Okay, NK, the way you put it makes sense and of course I've heard of fetishes - but I wanted to know if it was more of a mental turn-on or an actual physical response. I was watching an episode of Strange Sex and there was a guy who has a balloon fetish and they said he actually orgasms at that moment when the big balloon he blows up pops. However, that's the only way the guy can cum, and we were feeling sorry for him because of that.

[Derbylicious]

Originally Posted by nycindie

This comment just made me curious. Is it really a turn-on sexually to have people kiss your shoes? I mean, I could understand it as a playful, power trip sort of fun game, but I know for sure I wouldn't feel any sort of arousal from someone kissing or licking my shoe (I would be too worried about whether it was clean or something like that). Or is sexual arousal not what D/s is all about?

I think that there are people who get turned on by having power over someone. It may not be the act in it's self that is the turn on but rather the ability to have someone do something that they may not normally do or that is outside the conventions of what is thought of as "normal" sexual interaction. (I could never ask someone to kiss my boots without bursting out in a fit of giggling )

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by nycindie

I find it hard to believe, but maybe it's just because I am not turned on by that. I recently handcuffed and blindfolded my new beau while I kissed and licked him all over, but I was turned on physically by his reaction/enjoyment, not the blindfold or cuffs. Does my question make sense?

This is what it's usually all about. I personally believe that BONAFIDE fetishes are relatively rare. A lot of people might THINK they have a "fetish" when what they really have is an enjoyment for using certain types of props. Someone with an ACTUAL FETISH can't even GET aroused without their special fetish-object(s) being present:

However, that's the only way the guy can cum, and we were feeling sorry for him because of that.

[nycindie]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

More likely, it's the SUB who gets turned on by licking someone else's shoes.

Yes, but there's gotta be a reason why the Dom/Domme likes it, too.

Oh, and I am really asking out of curiosity, not to criticize. I hope that's clear.

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Yes, but there's gotta be a reason why the Dom/Domme likes it, too.

It's been said before:

BDSM is all about the sub, and what the sub is turned on by. The sub sets the boundaries, the Dom is the one who makes the scene happen. The Dom is usually gratified by giving the sub what the sub wants, even though the "scene" may play out looking as though the opposite is really what's happening.

So yes, there is a "reason" why the Dom likes Domming: because they LIKE DOMMING.

Do you like laughing? Why? There's GOTTA be a REASON.

[Magdlyn]

Of course the Dom/me likes it too. Unless she's just in it for the money as a pro. Even then, I think most pro Dommes love their work.

However, I know lots of kinky people who apparently can engage in their favorite kinks without getting overtly aroused, or feeling the need to have an orgasm. Just doing the kinky activity seems to be enough. Lots of play parties are arranged with a boundary of no fluids being ejected.

I'm not that way myself... far from it!

[nycindie]

Amazing how quickly this thread gets numerous responses, LOL. You kinky people!

[MonoVCPHG]

Getting a good flogging has nothing to do with sex for me. It has everything to do with a theraputic release. I don't find pain physically exciting..I find it emotionally healing. It's a way yo deal with my feelings of guilt from past mistakes because I don't have another outlet.

That's not to say sexual activity is not part of our play at times, but that's where bondage comes into play.

Bondage is for excitement..pain is for therapy...that's how it works for me.

[SourGirl]

Yes, a domina gets something out of it too.

It can be akin to flirting. When a person flirts with you, or pays you a compliment, you can be intrigued, flattered, appreciative. You might even be aroused over a suggestion from the right person.

It is quite a similiar feeling when you first have someone show a form of submission. All those feelings can happen, depending on the person offering.

If a relationship starts developing, you move from flattery, to it being a sign of respect, or of being obeyed.

but in the beginning, I know for me, I can enjoy when the grocery boys call me Ma`am, Or when someone bows down and kisses my hand.

Much like anything else, it also depends on 'who' is offering themselves, and what you feel their angle is.

[NeonKaos]

As a sub, I can tell you that it generates endorphins in the brain, so I'd feel buzzed as though I had an orgasm without actually having one the way people ordinarily experience them.