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Old 07-15-2011, 12:27 AM
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openbj openbj is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: OK, USA (but our hearts remain in TX)
Posts: 102
Default Will you be my husband's girlfriend??

Okay, so how on earth do you even approach someone about being your husband's girlfriend? The person we want has been a friend for two years now. She and my husband did have an affair last year. They really do love each other. But, I ruined it for all of us at the time. I didn't even know that poly was an option. Some of that brainwashing I've had to work through. We are all three still friends. I love this person like a sister, even after everything we went through last year.

Hubby and I have decided to go poly and his love for her is still strong, so he has asked if she could his significant other, I have agreed and was actually going to suggest it myself. We love her kids, she loves our kids, our kids all love each other, etc. Hubby has asked that I be the one to talk to her because of everything last year, so that way she's more comfortable for her, knowing that I'm in agreement, and it's not just him trying to have another affair. Even during their affair, she would tell him, "This can't destroy your marriage. You love your wife too much and she loves you too much. You can just consider me a friends with benefits relationship."

Now, I do believe that hubby and I are ready to move forward with her. This would be a V with him as the hinge, A and I as best friends (like we are now). I'm just not sure how to break the ice with her and get things moving in that direction. We are looking at this as long term, possibly forever. We really can see us with her like this for that long.

Tips? Ice breakers? Conversation starters? I really need help here.
Married 12 1/2 years. Female. Straight. New to poly.
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girlfriend, open marriage

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